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Patricia Noll -- Good With Me Foundation Patricia Noll -- Good With Me Foundation
St. Petersburg, FL
Monday, May 24, 2021


St. Petersburg, FL  Monday, May 24, 2021 -- Mass shootings have become just another war like the war on drugs. Founder and CEO of the "Good With Me" Foundation, Patricia Noll says, "We will never win either one because we are focused on the symptom of the problem and not the problem."

We have been focused on guns and mental health, both of which cause lots of problems and yet in most cases are not the real problem.  

Mass shootings are the result of a societal message that has become increasingly insidious in our current culture. This societal message is, for the most part, taught in code. It has been touted in a myriad of ways and has become equally as dangerous as the two pandemics of COVID-19 and SUICIDE. Years of this message, albeit in various forms, have taught people around the world to have other-dependent esteem.

Other-dependent esteem means that our happiness and self-worth depend upon someone or something outside of ourselves, such as what we have, do, or know, what others think about us, our accomplishments and successes, looking good, being right, and being the best.

Even though this societal message is more prevalent now than at any other time in history due to the world wide web and social media, it continues to go unnoticed and overlooked.

The theory of other-dependent esteem is the direct opposite of self-esteem. It contradicts much of traditional psychology including that of American psychologist Abraham Maslow who included self-esteem in his hierarchy of human needs.

There was no "self" in Abraham Maslow's version of self-esteem. He was touting other-dependent esteem with the focus on external sources such as respect and recognition from others, accomplishments, status, and prestige. He was defining other-dependent esteem. 

Other-dependent esteem explains why there is so much widespread anger, rage, domestic violence, criminal behavior, mass shootings, and suicide.

While many are seeking the motive for the increase in mass shootings at such a rate that over this past weekend a series of at least 12 mass shootings took place across eight states killing 11 people and injuring another 69, the shootings continue. More than 200 have already occurred in 2021.

Noll says, "I won't keep still any longer. We are shooting ourselves in the foot (no pun intended). I must share what I have learned from counseling thousands of individuals in my substance abuse and mental health practice over the past 30+ years, plus my own personal experience. It is time to speak out and be true to my life mission and vision."

No one seems to understand that we are teaching other-dependent esteem. Nor do they seem to recognize that what we consider to be self-esteem has nothing to do with self and that we are teaching other-dependent esteem instead.

We then wonder why so many individuals do not feel good about themselves. We continue to wonder what the motive is for those who hurt others or shoot as many people as possible as fast as they can before they are stopped or shoot themselves.

Whether a domestic violence or mass shooting death,

the motive is the same for both.

The concept of self-esteem was first written about by David Hume, a Scottish enlightment thinker, in the 18th century. His idea of self-esteem deemed it important to value and think well of yourself. That is self-dependent esteem.

When the esteem we have for who we are is dependent upon someone or something outside of ourselves, we do not own it. It does not belong to us. We have other-dependent esteem and are unable to see our inherent value. We do not like who we are. This leads to a myriad of poor choices, from addiction to violence, to suicide, and more.

And if that is not enough, here is the real recipe for the majority of mass shootings. It is the lack of both self-dependent esteem AND other-dependent esteem. This lack of both esteems occurs when we don't like ourselves and we think no one else likes us either.

All too many of these individuals become angry when they think they do not fit in and belong anywhere, not even somewhere with very low standards. Their perception of themselves becomes skewed. This skewed perception creates a skewed reality of themselves and before you know it they believe there is something very wrong with them.

Perception is reality and when our perception is skewed so is our reality.

Almost every mass shooter wants to fit in and belong. They perceive rejection and being left-out. Their skewed reality turns into dislike of self and envy, jealousy, and dislike of others.

This individual internalizes and personalizes their perceived rejection. They become angrier and angrier until their anger turns into rage. All the while they are becoming skillful at hiding it. It often goes unnoticed and overlooked even by family and friends, including social media friends.

Eventually the rage becomes so powerful that is explodes or implodes. We see the results of this almost daily in our news headlines.

It is so simple that it is hard. When I don't like me, I don't like you.

Steve Jobs, the late CEO of Apple, Inc. who changed our world with a simple devise known as a cell phone, has been quoted as stating, "Simple can be harder than complex. You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it's worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains."

If nothing changes, nothing changes!

Now is the time to move mountains and win the war. It is time to change the definition of esteem from other to self.

It is time to for us to teach how to shift from other-dependent esteem to self-dependent esteem to experience freedom from the crippling effects of other-dependency.

It is time to teach how to have happiness that comes from the inside-out instead of from the outside-in.

It is time to win the war by changing thoughts to save lives. 

Go to https://www.goodwithmefoundation.org to learn how to teach the shift from other-dependent to self-dependent esteem.


About the "Good With Me" Foundation

The foundation was founded in 2019 to support the "Good With Me" mission to change thoughts and save lives. It is a global humanitarian movement that seeks to make "Good With Me" community groups available around the globe to those who can't afford to participate as well as those who can. It does this by funding the "Good With Me" Day virtual celebration, the annual "Good With Me" Festival, the "Good With Me" Community Leader Program, and much more.

Learn more  https://www.goodwithmefoundation.org 

About Patricia Noll

The founder and CEO of the "Good With Me" Foundation, Patricia Noll, is available for interviews about how to recognize the warning signs of a potential mass shooter situation and how to change thoughts to save lives.


727-424-1270 (Cell/Text)

Televised addiction and self-esteem expert, Patricia Noll, is the author of Good With Me: A Simple Approach to Real Happiness from the Inside Out. She is a licensed mental health counselor, certified addictions professional, acupuncture physician, and founder of Focus One, an outpatient substance abuse treatment program licensed by the state of Florida in 1989. Noll specializes in addressing self-esteem, the way we think about ourselves, and our driving need to feel good as the root of all addiction.

Even though she has been changing thoughts and saving lives in her Focus One program located in the Tampa Bay area, she founded the "Good With Me" program to reach a greater number of people with her step-by-step solution to change many more thoughts and save many, many more lives around the world.                                         

Her addiction treatment manual has received endorsements from internationally renowned speakers and authors Deepak Chopra, Larry Dossey, Jack Kornfield, and Jacquelyn Small.



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Name: Patricia Noll
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Dateline: St. Petersburg, FL United States
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