"No" is so final, and most groups do not revisit the same list of speakers the following year, so a loss can seem so final. While not all deals make me sad if I am not selected, sometimes the loss is my fault (usually that I did not do a good job of painting a visual picture of the committee as to who I can impact their event).
Take loses in stride and make notes about what you could have done differently. In working with clients who want to increase sales I am shocked how few analyze their lost sales. Too many move on without reflection. To improve your sales you must be relentless about learning and accept your failures. Discovering your strengths and weaknesses has to be a lifetime commitment and part of every deal (win or lose).
Recently I had a loss that stung (it happens once a year, so it was bound to show up). Having researched this unique industry I was sure that my message would have "wowwed" this audience, but alas it wont happen in 2016. Yet I learned so much exploring their business area that I found some new ways that my keynote can have an impact on the retail sector (something I had not thought much about in the past). The enthusiasm I now have to work with local independent retail clients is exciting and this experience will allow me to change up how I position parts of my message about being engaged in your community.
So is a loss a loss? Not if you can learn from it or you discover new markets who will benefit from your product or service. Inspiration and information are powerful tools that sales people should be uncovering in every lost opportunity. Don't cry about a sale that goes to a competitor, make it your muse.
Have A Great Day.
thom singer