With Valentine’s Day just around the corner here are 100 great ways to guarantee you’ll stay single.

All in good fun. Nevertheless all true and submitted by readers of my book How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You in 90 Minutes or Less. 

The Kindle version is available for just $1.50 for the month of February on Amazon.com and $1.99 on Amazon.ca.

1. Use a coupon on your first date
2. Flirt with Bed Head
3. Turn-up for your first date 6 months pregnant
4. Brush your teeth once a week
5. Throw yourself at people
6. Turn down all social invitations
7. Talk about your previous sexual conquests
8. Be high maintenance and make lots of unreasonable demands
9. Flirt with the waitress instead of your date
10. Bite your nails so your fingers tell people you are a stressed-out, nervous wreck
11. Let hair grow where it shouldn’t
12. Avoid making eye contact when you meet someone for the first time
13. Act bored and be sarcastic
14. Gossip a lot
15. Wear cheap or badly fitting clothes
16. Tell everyone you know that love at first sight is a load of baloney
17. Send mixed signals, like smiling when you are angry
18. Dive at your date slobber all over his or her face when you are drunk on the first date
19. Eat with your mouth open and if possible make lots of noise
20. Slouch
21. Interrupt people when they are talking
22. Snort when you laugh
23. Make sure your fingernails are dirty and chipped
24. Talk loudly in the middle of a movie at the cinema or at the theatre……or church……library…etc.
25. Tell lies
26. Constantly pull your pants up
27. Check out everyone of the opposite sex in the room instead of your date
28. Spend lots of time looking at yourself in the mirror or shop windows as you pass
29. Always bring the conversation back to yourself
30. Constantly yank up your bra strap
31. Overload your perfume or aftershave
32. If you smoke make sure your clothes smell of tobacco
33. Break wind in public
34. Dress as if you were 20 years younger than you really are
35. Act like you know it all
36. Forget to flirt
37. Avoid entertaining
38. Wear business socks with sandals
39. Sit with your legs wide open in social situations
40. Go to bed early every night
41. Avoid traveling
42. Spit in the street (this works especially well if you’re a woman)
43. Pick at your acne
44. Use loads of foul language
45. Get addicted to TV, video games or the Internet
46. Act like a victim and feel sorry for yourself all the time
47. Wear clothes 2 sizes too small so people will have ammunition to criticize you
48. Phone people in the middle of the night (especially after a couple of cocktails)
49. Wear a poorly-fitting toupee
50. Let spit fly out of your mouth when you talk
51. Be a hermit
52. Change the subject abruptly in the middle of a conversation
53. Talk about your ailments
54. Look around the room when someone is talking to you
55. Scratch a lot
56. Fold your arms when talking to other people
57. Be inflexible and unwilling to change
58. Gain plenty of excess weight
59. Cough without covering your mouth
60. Get drunk as often as possible
61. Act frigid and aloof
62. When you’re in a conversation with someone you don’t know, keep touching them on the arm or the back, even though you just met
63. Pick your teeth and eat what you find
64. Anticipate what the other person is going to say and butt in
65. Wear dirty clothes
66. Pick your nose when you think no-one is looking
67. Talk about stuff no one wants to know about like your haemorrhoids or your mother
68. Scare people with your driving
69. Talk more than you listen
70. Talk about how much money your ex makes
71. Hang up the phone without saying goodbye
72. Wipe your nose on your sleeve
73. Always aim for sex on the first date
74. Chain smoke
75. Be hard to please
76. Don’t give feedback
77. Fall asleep when someone is talking to you
78. Play with your crotch in public
79. Try to change others to what you want them to be
80. Talk on your cell phone during a date
81. Do drugs
82. Wash your hair twice a month (or less)
83. Put your face right up against people when you talk to them
84. Go overboard trying to impress people
85. Monopolize conversations
86. Burp in public
87. Leave food stains on your clothing
88. Ask embarrassing personal questions
89. Don’t wear deodorant
90. Turn conversations into belligerent arguments
91. Brag about how much money you make
92. Close yourself off to as many new experiences as possible
93. Don’t clean your living space
94. Don’t wash your car
95. Don’t vacuum your car
96. Argue as much as possible over minor issues
97. Eat garlic and/or onions before a date
98. Keep a vicious animal as a pet
99. Let infestations form in your attic or refrigerator
100. Talk on your cell phone in the car, in a restaurant, anywhere where you and your “date” are….especially in front of your date….Oh and don’t forget to talk really loud, so everyone can hear your end of the conversation.