Monday, August 17, 2015
Golden, CO – An epidemic sweeping the globe; parents, teachers, employers and others are at a loss at how to handle our technology addicted youth. At Love and Logic, our focus has always been to provide simple, down-to-earth strategies for raising happy and well-behaved kids. As such, we don't typically spend much time describing the scientific research behind these strategies. I'd like to make an exception this week. I'd like to summarize a body of research that gets directly to the heart of why some kids (and adults) become so addicted to technology that their lives begin to fall apart.
The problem…and the solution…have relatively nothing to do with technology…and everything to do with relationships.
The bottom line:
People at risk for developing these problems feel so badly about themselves, and their lives, that they will do anything to escape into a world where they feel competent, powerful and liked.
For example, researchers Kwon, Chung and Lee found that those at highest risk score high on the following variables:
Escape from Self
The child believes that they don't measure up. Compared to the perceived standards of their parents, peers, school, self, or world, they feel inadequate, unattractive, or responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Severe anxiety and depression are the logical result of a child believing that they're worthless.
Perceived Parent Hostility/Lack of Affection
Loving relationships matter! Kids at risk for escape from self and depression believe that they can't do anything to please their parents: "Nothing I do is good enough."
Low Parental Supervision
Lack of supervision communicates lack of valuing: "My parents don't even care enough about me to wonder where I am, who I'm with, or what I'm doing."
Lack of Supportive Peer Relationships
When kids lack the skills to develop and maintain positive peer relationships, a vicious cycle develops: Lack of friends = Negative Mood = Negative Behavior = More Negative Mood
While practical limits and accountability are always essential, lasting solutions require that we help all children feel competent, loved unconditionally, and capable of enjoying positive peer relationships.
For those who enjoy reading research articles, see:
Kwon, J., Chung, C. & Lee, J. (2011). The Effects of Escape from Self and Interpersonal Relationship on the Pathological Use of Internet Games. Community Mental Health Journal, 47:113–121
For great techniques to building a loving relationship with your child, check out Parenting with Love and Logic.
We have also added a brand new book to our collection, Technology and Kids. In this book, Dr. Charles Fay provides 52 discussion starters…one per week…proven to help parents connect with their children and teens over technology issues.
About the Love and Logic Institute
Trusted for over 35 years, Love and Logic is a philosophy founded in 1977 by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D. It is the approach of choice among leading educators, parents, and other professionals worldwide.
The Love and Logic Institute is dedicated to making parenting and teaching fun and rewarding, instead of stressful and chaotic. We provide practical tools and techniques that help adults achieve respectful, healthy relationships with their children. All of our work is based on a psychologically sound parenting and teaching philosophy called Love and Logic.
For more information, please visit https://www.LoveandLogic.com
Love and Logic Institute, Inc.