When people learn that prior to being a dating and relationship coach, I was an image consultant, one of the first things they want to know about dating is what kind of outfit they should wear on a first date to make a good first impression. Many think they know the answer, and you’d think the answer would be easy. 

After all, there are plenty of fashion, dating, and relationship articles online that have opinions about this. Plenty of makeover shows have broached the subject. But often my advice is very different from that of mainstream media.  

Before meeting my husband and becoming a dating and relationship coach, I owned a successful clothing boutique and had a busy career as a style consultant and personal shopper. 

So one of the benefits of having me as your dating and relationship coach is that my clients get my experience in the fashion world when choosing first date outfits and even online dating profile image outfits.

It’s a wonderful bonus I was able to carry into this calling, and I’m happy to pass some of that experience on to you.

Here’s tip #1: What someone wears on a first date should reflect their dating goals. 

My clients aren’t looking for just a good time or someone to spend the summer with. They aren’t looking for a fling or a one-night stand. And they aren’t looking for friendship or to hang out. They are looking for marriage, for lasting love, for a life partner, for “the one”. 

While dating for marriage can be fun, it is also a serious endeavor for my clients who don’t want to waste more time playing the dating game. And how they choose to dress for a first date or any of those early dates communicates more than they realize to a potential love interest. 

How does “what do I wear for a first date?” change for the seriously searching single?

Did you know that someone forms an opinion of you within the first 7 seconds of meeting you? We can’t help but judge a book by its cover. 

So when you are dating for marriage or other long-term commitments, you definitely don’t want your date walking away thinking “not marriage material” simply because of your outfit choice.

When you think of what to wear, you’re taking into consideration more than “does this outfit look okay on me” or “do these pants make me look fat?”

You should be asking: “What does this  outfit say about who I am?”, “What does it say about what I want?”, and “What does it communicate about what I think of my date?”.

What does this outfit say about who I am? 

First and foremost, your choice of outfits communicates something about who you are. Wearing a suit and tie comes across very differently from someone wearing a t-shirt and flip-flops. 

Of course, you don’t want to dress in a way that is in complete contrast with your personality and personal style. But you also may not want to put all your cards on the table just yet.  

What does this outfit say about what I want? 

Whether we like it or not, people make assumptions about both who we are and our intentions just by what we wear. 

If you look too sexy, there are those who, no matter how wrong this is, may assume you are interested in a quick fling rather than a serious relationship.  If you dress too formally, some may be put off or intimidated, thinking you are too serious or stiff. 

What does this outfit communicate about what I think of my date? 

If your date shows up in person for the first time in sweatpants and a stained t-shirt, you have to wonder if they are even interested. It certainly doesn’t communicate that they cared enough to look their best. There is even a laundry detergent commercial that makes fun of this. 

A woman dressed to the nines for a casual date may be communicating that she expects to be taken to first-class restaurants and venues. He may consider her “high maintenance”.  

So, what should a seriously searching single wear as a first date outfit? 

First, poor grooming is a major turnoff! 

To most people, hygiene matters more than height or weight (or hairline for men!) as it turns out. 

Make sure your hair is attractively cut and styled. It is especially important for men to have well-trimmed haircuts that make the most of the hair they have. There are ways to style thinning or even no hair that are attractive and flattering. 

And men, even though facial hair is very in right now, make sure your beard or mustache is well-groomed for your first dates. And don’t forget about nose and ear hair!   

Women, if you wear makeup, don’t overdo it. Most men want to be able to recognize you when the make-up comes off, and the natural look, highlighting your best features, always works well.  

And EVERYONE should make sure they have clean teeth and fresh breath!

Consider Location, Location, Location

When I am coaching a client for a first date, a core guideline of my Motivated to Marry® dating methodology is to keep the first date short and sweet, light and bright.  My tips for a great first date include a daytime meet-up, over coffee or lunch, in a neutral location, for no more than two hours, and with no secondary location.

Some might assume that a casual date requires a casual outfit, but for a first date, that would be wrong. You want to dress like yourself, but maybe the slightly more polished version of you. When choosing what to wear on your first date, consider something comfortable and appropriate for the setting, whether that’s jeans and a nice top or a casual dress/slacks. 

Unfortunately, the COVID era got a lot of people used to dressing ultra-casually for just about everything. But unless you are actually working out together, I’d steer clear of sweats/track pants or leggings/yoga pants for a first date. You might be comfortable in it, but it won’t communicate that you are taking this meet-up, or your date, seriously. 

For Women: Pretty, Polished, and Date-Appropriate

What you wear on a first date should communicate that you want your date to find you attractive, but not that you want to hook up tonight. I know men shouldn’t make assumptions about our sexuality based on what we wear, but unfortunately, many still do, so it’s best to save those heart-stopping outfits for when you are a little further along in the relationship.

In the meantime, wear an outfit that flatters your figure without showing off everything. If you’re wearing a dress or skirt, I recommend hemlines no shorter than just above the knee.  Midi length is popular these days, and if you have an hourglass waist, you can show it off with a belt.  

Blouses with scoop or V-necks are very attractive on most body types and flatter the neckline, but be careful about showing too much cleavage. You want to leave something to the imagination. 

And a cute jacket or sweater can be added to dress up something too casual or dress down something too fancy, depending on the weather.

High-heeled shoes or sandals always flatter the legs. Just make sure you can still walk naturally and comfortably. 

For Men: Simple, Sharp, and Put Together

Business casual always feels like a safe bet in my mind, and having a clean-cut look is usually best. Slacks or nice jeans paired with a polo, button-down, or a quarter-zip, and nice shoes is a solid first date outfit for most men.

For some extra style, consider an updated blazer with a graphic tee, a vest of some sort, or a nice jacket on top. Well-tailored layers go a long way in elevating your look.  

Whatever you do, avoid looking sloppy with wrinkled shirts or slacks, and make sure everything fits well. Avoid overly tight or baggy items. Don’t forget the deodorant and to brush your teeth! 

And be careful about wearing strong cologne, which can actually be a turnoff for many women!   

But the most important thing to wear on a first date: 

A smile paired with an open and curious attitude!  

If you’re dating with the goal of finding lasting love, it’s time to put yourself out there and get excited to learn everything you can about this first date. Even if you quickly realize that he/she isn’t the one, have fun and be kind. 

First dates, even bad ones, are never a waste of time. You can always learn something that will help you get closer to finding true love, even if that something is what you don’t want in a partner! Thank your date for allowing you to get to know them better and sincerely wish them the best of luck in their journey to find lasting love. 

A good first date outfit can help you make a strong impression, but lasting love takes more than just looking the part.

Every detail matters, from how you present yourself to how you choose, pace, and evaluate your dates. That’s why having expert support can be so valuable.

I’d love to help you not just pick out your first date outfits, but to help you find true and lasting love through a better dating strategy. The Motivated to Marry dating methodology has helped hundreds of singles find true love, and I can help you, too! 

Schedule a complimentary Meet Your Mate Strategy Session with me, and let’s get you dressed for true love!

About the Author

is a certified life coach and dating/relationship expert who has helped hundreds of marriage-minded singles find lasting, committed partnerships since 2005. Through private coaching and group programs, she specializes in helping people date with clarity, confidence, and purpose.