Thursday, March 24, 2011

For many people, having to deliver negative performance reviews is the worst part of managing people. In fact, some say that on "perf" days, they walk around with a knot in the pit of their stomach, dreading the upcoming conversations.

And for good reason. HumanResource Magazine warns that when poorly handled, these processes "create a disaster from which you will require months and possibly years, to recover."

David Rock, founder of the NeuroLeadership institute, explains that "performance reviews often provoke a physical threat response." Just knowing they're going to be evaluated places people in high alert; and if the feedback is negative, it causes a neural impulse "as powerful and painful as a blow to the head." We've covered the consequences of the threat response in previous articles: its effect on performance, interactions and especially innovation.

But it doesn't need be so. The Harvard Business Review detailed research showing that a negative performance review accompanied by positive body language was received far better than a positive review accompanied by negative body language. The delivery matters more than the message itself: it's not what you say, but how you say it. You may remember the MIT Media Lab concluding after extensive studies the outcome of negotiations could be predicted with 87% accuracy, analyzing only participants' body language-completely ignoring words and arguments.

When delivering a negative performance review; just like when delivering any piece of bad news, it turns out the key component to have in your body language is empathy. The worse the news, the more important for the recipient to feel that you truly care- think of Clinton's classic "I feel your pain."

The good news is that we have a natural tendency for empathy: humans are by far the most empathetic species on the planet. It's hardwired into our brains; deeper even than cognitive abilities. And even if you don't feel any warm-and-fuzzies, you can think your way into empathy, according to neuropsychologist Rick Hanson. As long as you're willing to imagine yourself in the other person's situation, your willingness to try will play out across your body language.

For a quick guide to accessing empathy, read on..

-------------

Known as the "Charisma Coach", Olivia's client list includes Citigroup, Deloitte & Touche and the United Nations. Her passion for communication has brought her to lecture at Harvard, Yale, and MIT; she frequently appears as guest expert in media such as BusinessWeek, Crain's New York, Bloomberg or Sirius Satellite Radio.

Her topics of expertise include charisma (yes, it can be taught!), influence, and persuasion. She is available for TV, radio, and news interviews-- she's witty, charming and your audience will love her. You can ask Olivia..

* How to make a fantastic first impression

* How to master the art of conversation

* How to work a room with ease, grace and efficiency

* Dealing with difficult people

* How to postion yourself as an expert in your field

* How to master the science of influence and persuasion

* Personal Branding: it's All About You