Pull up your calendar — on your phone, in your Day-Timer, or on the stack of lists you make to yourself. Glance at the past month and the “must-do’s” you have written in. Work, gym, doctor appointments, vacation — all your priorities, non-negotiables, and plan-ahead get-aways. Is there anything in your crammed schedule that reflects the importance of dating in your life? Or is love supposed to take care of itself?

Look, I get it. I’ve been where you are, and I know how “life” can get so busy that you don’t see it flying by.

And finding true love is one of those things that will just have to take care of itself. You know, “If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”

Add to that the frustration of not meeting quality people to date, and it’s no wonder so many singles throw in the towel.

Many of my clients have lost faith that they can meet anyone worthwhile. And I feel their frustration.

Have you been putting a great deal of time and effort into online dating, hoping to meet a life partner? If you have nothing but disappointment to show for your dedication, I sympathize.

Perhaps you’re considering taking a break from dating. Sometimes that’s just what you need to do in order to become centered again.

However, the scenario I too often see is that singles fill their schedules with work and other commitments. The importance of dating gets lip service, but isn’t reflected in their actual lives.

When I was in my late 30’s, single, motivated to marry, and desiring a family, I made dating a top priority. I was running a women’s clothing boutique, but still made sure I had time for meeting new people and dating.

I planned my time to be able to work decent hours, then get out and expand my social network.

I strategically chose events where I would meet eligible men who were in my age range.

I traveled with co-ed groups so I could meet men who were also seeking a life partner. And, if I had a choice to go to an all-women event or a co-ed event, I chose the latter.

For some of us, relationships top our list of life priorities. We can’t imagine life without a relationship partner.

I was on a quest to meet that right person, and I chose activities that helped me walk the talk.

I took classes, read books, and even hired a dating coach when I turned 40. 

If something isn’t working, isn’t it logical to seek professional help and new ways to accomplish your goal?

You don’t have to turn your search into an obsession in order to prove the importance of dating in your life. After all, you may have valid time commitments that you currently can’t control.

As a certified professional life coach, I take a holistic view of my clients’ dating lives to see if they have the time for a new person in their lives and what the true importance of dating is in their lives.

For marriage-minded people who say that getting married is a priority, it should be a top-3 goal.

Here’s a way to tell if you’re prioritizing your goals in the right order:

1. List the top 3 goals you want to accomplish over the next 3 to 6 months. Be honest with yourself. Put them in order of importance.
2. List your top 10 values. Assess how fully you’re living those values on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 being “not at all” and 10 being “very much so”).
3. Look at how you spend your time. Can you analyze where you spend the bulk of your time (besides sleeping)?

Ask yourself, “Is how I spend my time aligned with my goals and values?”

If not, then what has to shift for you in order to bring your time management into alignment with your 6-month goals?

Let’s say a 37-year-old woman wants to get married and have a family.

Of course, her work is important. She needs the job to pay the bills and to secure financial stability (a value of hers).

She also has a side business that she finds very fulfilling.

She loves her business because she connects with other women who share her values. And this requires her time in the evenings and on part of the weekends.

So when does she have time for a significant relationship?

When you’re looking for a marriage partner, that prospective partner wants to know you have quality time to spend with him or her. No one likes to be pigeon-holed into a 2-hour slot on a Sunday afternoon!

And what if your romantic interest wants to see you for dinner and a walk during the week?

There’s a momentum to relationships. They either move forward or fizzle.

Take Kevin, a 40-something single dad who coached with me. He asked for my help with his online dating profile.

Soon after he made the adjustments I suggested, he met his true love. They’re making time to connect with one another daily, strengthening their connection and planning for their future together.

So how are your priorities lining up? Are you on or off track? Is the importance of dating and finding a relationship reflected in your daily life?

These are some of the major questions I ask my coaching clients.

Think you could use the help of a coach to gain greater clarity and focus around finding a life partner and creating the life you desire? Then let’s explore how coaching can help you find true love this fall.

Visit www.talkwithcoachamy.com to schedule some time for us to chat and get you going in the right direction.

Now is a great time to start coaching so you can take advantage of the incredible dating opportunities that exist right now, especially online.

Your life and relationship coach,

Amy

PS: Several of my clients have met the loves of their lives during the last 6 months to a year’s time – even during a pandemic. And you can too!

Visit www.talkwithcoachamy.com now so we can get you on track to find true love before the end of this year.