Friday, September 12, 2025
I've always thought astrology (and body language, and graphology, and scapulimancy, and Myers-Briggs, among others) to be sheer nonsense, engaged in by people who believe in a seance to contact the dead. But a lot of people follow this craziness and now it's been calculated that people's signs have changed because of tremors in the universe, or levitation of black holes, or Donald Trump. (Obviously, I haven't researched this carefully.)
But since it's being reported on social media it must be true, so I've decided to change my sign. I thought I'd move from Pisces (a fish, for God's sake) to Taurus, which has a description with ten-cent words, like “triplicity” and “quadruplicity.” That's for me—the high-brow sign.
But when I investigated with my usual attention to detail, I found that a Taurus is actually a failed Ford automobile that went out of production six years ago. So that's out. Everyone knows I'd never be caught driving a Ford. That's just simplicity.