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Pachter's Newsletter: Women & Careers, Working With A Bully? and more
Barbara Pachter - Business Etiquette Expert Barbara Pachter - Business Etiquette Expert
Cherry Hill , NJ
Friday, December 06, 2013

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  December 2013
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President's Message
Pachter photo It's that time again – the time to reflect on the past year. As I look back over the past 12 months, I am grateful for many things: my son has been transferred to the Philadelphia area, my new etiquette book, The Essentials of Business Etiquette, was published recently by McGraw Hill, and, after 20 years, my seminars and coaching services are still in demand by major companies and individuals.  

I also am thankful that the workplace, the media, and women's groups have paid increased attention to "women and their careers" – one of my areas of expertise and a passion of mine.

Some of this attention was spurred by books on women in the workforce, including Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In, which encourages women to "lean in" to their ambitions and to speak up so their voices are heard.

Other discussions were inspired by Judith Warner's thought-provoking article in an August New York Times Magazine, The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In, which discusses what happened to the mothers who gave up promising careers in the late 1990s and early 2000s to be home with their children. 

My work with women has increased this year. More companies held women's seminars than in previous years, including a major financial institution for which I presented a two-day program for high-level women executives.  Also, I have coached numerous women on their careers, including some who were returning to the workplace after long absences, and an executive who was leaving her corporate position to start her own business.

No one knows what the coming year will hold, but I am looking forward to continuing my work, helping both men and women soar in their careers.

Have a happy and healthy holiday season.

Barbara Pachter

Seminar Spotlight:
Effective Business Writing
Do you:hand and pen
  • Know how to write clearly and concisely?
  • Proofread your documents before you send them?
  • Have confidence as a writer?
Effective Business Writing is a practical seminar for all supervisors, managers, administrators and professionals who want to improve their writing abilities.


This interactive seminar will help participants sharpen their language skills, communicate with greater ease and eliminate embarrassing mistakes.

To schedule a seminar or for more information, contact Joyce Hoff at 856-751-6141 or joyce@pachter.com.

Image courtesy of Pong at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/" target="_blank" href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net">FreeDigitalPhotos.net


angry guy 26 Assertive Tips When

Working With A Bully

Raising your volume does not

make you right, it only makes you louder.

Do you stand up to workplace bullies? These are colleagues, bosses or employees who have strong opinions, but use aggressive behavior (shouting, pointing, etc.) to express them. They often win their points by intimidation.

You don't want to become a bully when responding to one, but you do want to get your ideas heard. Follow these six suggestions to act in a polite and powerful manner:

 1.  Stand when you can. You don't want the other person towering over you. It gives that person a psychological edge. Make sure both of you are sitting or standing. And if the other person invades your space, stand your ground.


 2.  Look the person in the eye. Many people look away when they get nervous. By doing so, you are telling the other person you are uncomfortable. Force yourself to look at the person.

 3.  Speak up. You don't want to scream, but you need to speak loudly enough to be heard.  

 4.  Don't ask permission to speak.  Discussions need to be two-way. The other person is not in charge of the flow of conversation. Avoid asking, "Is it okay if I give my thoughts?"

 5.  Learn to interrupt. Usually, you don't want to interrupt someone; but with bullies, if you don't interrupt, you may never get the opportunity to speak.  

 6.  Give your opinion as a statement, not a question. If you say, "Wouldn't using vendor x be a conflict of interest for us?", you are letting the other person make the decision. Instead, use a direct, assertive statement: "I believe using vendor x would be a conflict of interest."

 Additional suggestions on assertiveness can be found in my book,

The Power of Positive Confrontation.


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Pachter & Associates is an international business etiquette and communications company providing group training and individual coaching in the areas of Business Etiquette, Assertive Communication, Presentation Skills, Women in Business, International Etiquette, Positive Confrontation and Business Writing.

For more information, visit us at pachter.com or call 856-751-6141.

Requests to reproduce our articles for commercial or other public use must be made in writing to Barbara Pachter at bpachter@pachter.com.

© Pachter & Associates, 2013


In This Issue:

Seminar Spotlight: Effective Business Writing

6 Assertive Tips When Working With A Bully

Pachter In The News

Recent Blog Posts

Quote To Remember

Perfect for the Holidays
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A great gift for recent graduates, new hires and seasoned professionals.

For a signed copy order here.

Or purchase your copy at Amazon.com
or Barnes & Nobles


Pachter In The News:

Wall Street Journal:

Navigating the Company Holiday Party


How to Toot Your Own Horn at Work Without Seeming Obnoxious

NJ Biz:

In Case You Were Wondering: A 'Do Not Say List' for Women in Business

Business Insider:

Texting Etiquette Rules Every Professional Needs to Know


Why Good Business Etiquette Matters More Than Ever



Receive the Business Etiquette Tip of the Day on


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Pachter's blogs

are now syndicated on BusinessInsider.com


Blog Posts:

9 Travel-Smart Tips for the Holidays

The 8 Deadly Sins of Executive Dining

Top 10 Business Clothing Mistakes


Additional Books

By Pachter:

Communicate With Power Set


Visit our website or Amazon.com to buy your copy now.

Quote To Remember:
There was a law of life, so cruel and so just, that one must grow or else pay more for remaining the same.

Norman Mailer


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News Media Interview Contact
Name: Barbara Pachter
Title: President
Group: Pachter and Associates
Dateline: Cherry Hill, NJ United States
Direct Phone: 856-751-6141
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