Have you ever shown up to a singles event hoping to meet someone new, only to realize you’re surrounded by people who are clearly not what you’re looking for? It’s actually a common problem for singles who are seriously searching for lasting love. The same old singles mixers, speed dating events, and pub crawls just aren’t cutting it anymore. So what’s a single gal/guy gotta do to meet someone? Well, the best ways to meet singles aren’t as mysterious as you might think. 

When my best friend was ready to start dating again after her divorce in her 50s, she decided to begin attending community singles events. She quickly became frustrated with the singles scene because most of the events she attended were 70% women. The few decent guys at these events were surrounded by women all vying for their attention. 

Men can relate too. You decide to put yourself out there and hit the local bar on a Friday night, only to find yourself surrounded by a bunch of other single dudes.  

If any of this sounds familiar, it may be time to rethink your dating strategies for meeting singles. 

Rather than sticking to the same old social scenes, let’s look at some of the best ways to meet singles that actually work.

1. Online Dating 

Let’s start with the obvious one, because it still works. Online dating continues to be one of the most effective ways to meet singles, especially if you’re looking for someone with specific qualities or long-term potential. In fact, over 80% of my successfully coupled clients met their partners online. 

Online dating apps let you filter for life goals, relationship values, faith, many specific preferences, and more. You don’t have to wonder if a potential match is just dating for fun or is looking for something serious. Their intentions are listed in their profiles, or should be. Of course, not everyone is upfront about their true intentions!

This was my first suggestion for my friend. Beyond being able to filter out unsuitable profiles, online dating is a one-to-one medium. She wouldn’t have to stand by the dance floor waiting for some guy to make the first move. Or compete against the other 20 women in the room.

Beyond that, online dating offers practical advantages:

• You can search online 24/7 when it fits your busy schedule. This works well if you have a demanding job or if you are a single parent.  
• You can get specific information about a person upfront that would normally take you months of potential wasted time to discover in real life.
• You’re less likely to get bowled over by physical chemistry up front to cloud your judgment. 

There are downsides, of course. But with the right approach and a little coaching, online dating success could be waiting for you. The pros really do outweigh the cons if you can learn how to navigate around the negatives of online dating.

2. Personal Introductions

You might think your friends and family couldn’t possibly know anyone, but have you actually asked them? Most people assume that if there were a potential love interest in their network, someone would have surely introduced them by now. Or, maybe you’re one of the many that has given in to set-ups and blind dates only to be disappointed? 

What most people don’t realize is that for personal introductions to work, you have to be very clear with your network about what kind of person you are looking for. 

The first step is to be able to succinctly describe the kind of person you are looking for. This should be more than just a list of physical characteristics. Include your life goals, relationship values, and the key characteristics of an ideal partner. 

Next, pick some trusted friends or family members to share your infomercial. I call these people your “connectors”. Be clear that you are open and looking to meet someone serious about a relationship. Ask them to consider their circle and if they think of a potential match, you’d appreciate an introduction.  

When you tell your trusted friends or colleagues that you’re open to being set up, you’re tapping into a valuable (and often underused) resource. These people know you. They’ve seen your values, your personality, and your character. And if they know someone who might be a good fit, it’s worth exploring. The benefit of personal introductions is that they come with a level of trust and social accountability. Your friends won’t suggest someone they don’t feel good about.

3. Meet-Up Groups

If traditional singles events feel like a bust, and you’re wanting to complement your online efforts, consider joining local Meet-Up groups from Meetup.com. There are countless meet-up groups based on hobbies, interests, or even causes you care about. Whether it’s a hiking club, a cooking class, a game night group, or a professional networking event, these gatherings can help you form friendships that might lead to romance.

Meet-up groups are one of the best ways to meet other singles because they remove the pressure to perform or impress. You’re just showing up as yourself, enjoying the activity, and connecting with people organically. However, if you want to look for meet-up groups that are specifically geared to singles, you can join one of my thirteen Seriously Searching Meetup Groups nationwide.

And sometimes, it’s not even about who you meet in the group, it’s who they introduce you to later. Again, it’s important to be open and approachable.

4. Get Involved 

Sometimes the best way to meet someone is to stop trying so hard to “meet someone.”

When you get involved in community life through volunteering, faith-based service, local activism, travel groups, or shared-interest classes, etc., you begin to live more fully and authentically. You also put yourself in environments where values-based connections can happen naturally.

I made some of my closest girlfriends (and guy friends) when I participated in social activities groups such as the ski club, a bowling league, and a biking group. I even met my husband through that same bicycling group!

These settings often attract emotionally mature people who are invested in something beyond themselves. That kind of context can lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations and relationships.

If you really want to avoid being one of too many women (or men) in the group, consider the likely gender dynamic of the activity. It might be stereotypical to say, but some areas of interest do tend to attract more of one gender than another. For example, physical activity, sporting, and outdoors groups still tend to see a higher number of men than women. Whereas, self-improvement, faith-based, and cultural interests tend to be more populated by women. 

Word of caution- don’t jump into an activity just because you know that’s where all the eligible singles are. Don’t be the creepy guy in the yoga class who is only there to hit on women. Ick. Make sure you are choosing groups/clubs/hobbies/classes/etc. that are actually of interest to you!

The best way to meet singles is to stop circling in the same old pool.

If you keep going to the same places and meeting the same types of people, you’ll likely get the same results. Getting intentional with your dating plan by including personal introductions, hobby-based groups, service opportunities, and smart online dating can significantly improve your chances of meeting someone with whom you can share lasting love.

You don’t need to do everything at once. But you do need to start somewhere. Take a fresh look at your options, open yourself up to new environments, and be intentional with your time and energy.

The right person may not be at the next singles mixer, but they might be one introduction, one online profile, or one shared volunteer away.

PS.  If you’re looking for support in finding the right partner, then let’s talk.  I have both private and group coaching options to help you learn my process and have better success at meeting true love.  Talk with Coach Amy Today!