When it comes to dating, opportunity often knocks when you least expect it — and sometimes, it knocks right down the hall from your office. After all, the workplace is one of the most common ways people get to know others. But as exciting as it can feel when sparks fly at work, it’s important to stop and ask yourself: Is a workplace romance really worth the risk?

Recently, a client of mine shared her story. A new guy had just started in her department, and he came over to introduce himself. She thought he was cute, friendly, and naturally, she wondered if he might be single. She asked me how she could find out if he was available, and would pursuing a workplace romance be a smart move?

The short answer? Meeting someone at work is totally normal. It happens all the time. But my relationship advice to her, and to you, is that you need to tread carefully. It’s not just your heart on the line. Dating a coworker could put both your careers at risk. Workplace romances can get complicated fast, and if you’re not thoughtful, they can impact your reputation, your relationships with coworkers, and even your job security. 

But that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth the risk…

Weighing the Pros and Cons of a Workplace Romance

Before jumping in, it’s a good idea to look at the pros and the cons of getting involved with someone you work with.

Pros:

• You already have a lot in common — you understand the company culture, probably have shared friends, and you may know the quality of their work and how they behave.
• You might see how they handle stress, teamwork, and leadership, giving you a clearer picture of their character before you ever start dating.
• The opportunity to build a relationship with someone who “gets” your professional life can be a huge plus. You might find that you have common goals and relationship values.

Cons (and they deserve serious attention):

• Workplace romances can make your coworkers uncomfortable, especially if your dynamic changes after you start dating.
• If things don’t work out, you still have to see each other every day, which can be awkward at best, toxic at worst.
• You and your partner could quickly become the subject of office gossip — and not always in a kind way.
• If your relationship is with a superior, it could be difficult for you to be evaluated fairly or judged solely on your work, or people might assume any promotions, special assignments, or recognition you get are because of your relationship, not your hard work.
• In some cases, it may be difficult for both of you to stay with the company if the breakup is messy or if working together becomes too uncomfortable.

And of course, before even thinking about getting romantically involved, you need to be sure you’re not violating any company policies. Some workplaces are fine with coworkers dating — others are very strict, and crossing that line could literally cost you your job. Always, always do your homework first.

Real Talk: How to Proceed (If You Decide To)

Back to my client — I first asked if she even knew whether this man was single. A lot of times, people assume things that aren’t true. I encouraged her to find a way to get to know him on a friendly, group basis first. Maybe she could invite him to join a team lunch or a happy hour where other coworkers would be around. (Notice I did not suggest a one-on-one invitation. Keeping it casual and non-threatening matters at this early stage.)

I also asked if she had any allies at work who might know more about him — a coworker who could discreetly help her find out if he was in a relationship. She mentioned walking past his desk and seeing a picture of two children, but no photo of a spouse. I advised her to look for other signs, like whether he wore a wedding ring, but to remember that a missing ring doesn’t necessarily mean someone is single. In today’s world, plenty of people in relationships don’t wear rings for one reason or another.?

Bottom line: do a little homework before making a move. It could save you a lot of heartache — and workplace drama — down the road.

?When Workplace Romances Work: Karen and Rob’s Story

To be fair, workplace romances aren’t always a disaster waiting to happen. When approached with wisdom and clarity, they can work out beautifully.

?Take Karen, for example — a forty-something professional woman who worked at a large company. When she met Rob, she had recently ended a two-year relationship after realizing her boyfriend didn’t want the same things she did: marriage and a family. She wasn’t looking to jump right into something new, but life had other plans.

?Rob worked in a different department, so they didn’t interact much. But when he saw her in the company cafeteria, he was taken by her. She gave Rob a chance and was very direct about her goals. He was on board with that. A year later, they were married. Fortunately for Karen and Rob, it worked out well. Even better? Their relationship never caused issues at work because they kept it professional and respectful in the office.

Karen and Rob’s story is proof that when handled thoughtfully, a workplace romance can lead to a lifetime of happiness, not just awkward glances at the copy machine.

So… Is It Worth the Risk?

At the end of the day, only you can decide if a workplace romance is worth it. It depends on the person, the situation, the workplace culture, and your own emotional readiness.

But here’s the truth: protecting your heart and your career matters. If you’re thinking about dating a coworker, don’t just rush into something. Be realistic, have clear intentions, and communicate what you’d like to see come from this before you jump in!

It can be a beautiful beginning, or it can become a messy complication you wish you had avoided. Be wise. Be patient. Trust your instincts. And remember: the right relationship won’t need to be forced, rushed, or hidden.

You deserve a love that’s strong enough to grow — even in the fluorescent light of the office break room.

If you need help navigating your dating life, even in the workplace, reach out and let’s talk. You might find relationship coaching the perfect next step to finding lasting love! I have a program that’s just right for you!

Do you even know if you’re ready for lasting love? Don’t risk your job on “I think so”. Discover your readiness for love by taking my FREE “Are You Ready to Meet Your Mate” Quiz and find out! Go to https://motivatedtomarry.lpages.co/take-the-mtm-quiz/ today!