The phrase “emotional intelligence” makes most people’s eyes glaze over. It sounds like something from a leadership seminar that everyone will forget by Friday. But the concept behind it—understanding yourself and working well with others—is crucial for any successful team.

The trick is discussing these skills without resorting to buzzwords that make people tune out.

Instead of asking someone to “develop their emotional intelligence,” try focusing on specific, observable behaviors. Tell your team member, “I noticed you seemed frustrated during the client call. What was going on for you?” This opens a conversation about self-awareness without making it feel like a psychology lesson.

Rather than lecturing about “managing emotions,” help people recognize their patterns: “You do your best thinking when you take a few minutes to process feedback before responding. Have you noticed that about yourself?” This approach makes emotional regulation feel like a practical work skill, not touchy-feely corporate speak.

When addressing interpersonal dynamics, skip the jargon and get specific: “Sarah looked uncomfortable when you interrupted her presentation. Did you catch that?” This teaches empathy through real-time observation rather than abstract concepts.

The most effective approach is modeling the behavior you want to see. When you’re stressed, say so: “I’m feeling overwhelmed by this deadline, so I’m going to take ten minutes to think through our options before we decide.” When you make a mistake, own it: “I was impatient in that meeting and cut off your idea. That wasn’t fair to you or the team.”

Your employees don’t need to master the vocabulary of emotional intelligence—they (and you!) need to master the practice of it. Guide them to notice their own reactions, understand their impact on others, and choose more effective responses. These skills will serve them far better than any acronym ever could.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
– Maya Angelou

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