Thursday, March 31, 2011

Whether or not realize it, we generally go through our days with a certain mood operating in the background; through which events are filtered and assessed.

The mood is the backdrop; the background. We're generally unaware of it (instead, we'll notice the shorter, but more intense spikes of emotions)

An event happens- let's say, you have an interaction with someone. Through whichever filter was operating that day, the mind perceives the interaction. It evaluates it, measures it against our internal standard for a successful interactions; and passes judgment.

If that evaluation is negative, we feel a negative emotion. It feels uncomfortable, unpleasant, because it's specifically designed to spur corrective or remedial action; it's "supposed" to feel wrong.

But as a consequence,

* Our mind scans our memories for any similar or related events; thus possibly recalling what feels like an avalanche of failures

* Our body chemistry is activated; increasing negative filtering. The mind will automatically seek negative information; and each bit of negative information thus found seems to support the bleak view, thereby worsening the mood

* The negative emotion actually triggers negative thoughts all on its own. Sometimes, a brief negative emotion based purely on a temporary physical phenomena (for instance, tight clothing restricting breathing) can trigger negative thoughts; which will then cause more negative emotions; which leads the brain to evaluate outside reality through negative lens, etc...

You can get a pretty good, albeit pretty dense, description of this process-with the science afferent to each step- in the brilliant Mindful Way through Depression- a worthwhile read for anyone.

Now that you know how and why this happens, what can you do about it? Here's the step-by-step answer

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Known as the "Charisma Coach", Olivia's client list includes Citigroup, Deloitte & Touche and the United Nations. Her passion for communication has brought her to lecture at Harvard, Yale, and MIT; she frequently appears as guest expert in media such as BusinessWeek, Crain's New York, Bloomberg or Sirius Satellite Radio.

Her topics of expertise include charisma (yes, it can be taught!), influence, and persuasion. She is available for TV, radio, and news interviews-- she's witty, charming and your audience will love her. You can ask Olivia..

* How to make a fantastic first impression

* How to master the art of conversation

* How to work a room with ease, grace and efficiency

* Dealing with difficult people

* How to postion yourself as an expert in your field

* How to master the science of influence and persuasion

* Personal Branding: it's All About You