Thursday, March 10, 2011

Becoming a great conversationalist means that people will really enjoy being around you, and may be increasingly reluctant to let you go! So how can you gracefully exit conversations? Authors Leil Lowndes and Nicholas Boothman have some great tips on the subjects, which I've combined with some of my own– here's a little compendium:

Don't wait too long to end a conversation. Otherwise, you and your partner will feel the strain and become uncomfortable, anxious, or even bored. The easiest way to exit is, of course, to have an official reason for doing so. That's one of the many reasons to be a volunteer / host / or any other official duty, at parties. When you're "on duty," people will actually expect you to spend no more than a few minutes with them.

Better yet, engage the rule of reciprocation. Wait until your conversation partner has just finished a sentence, and say something to the effect of "You know, based on what you've just said, you really should [meet this person/read this book/check out this Website/etc.]. If you have a card, I'll send it to you / introduce you/etc. …." As soon as your counterpart gives you a card, you have a perfect opportunity to say, "Great! I'll e-mail you soon. It was a pleasure meeting you."

Alternatively, if the person has agreed to meet someone in the room, simply say, "Let me introduce you" and bring them together. Since you've just freely given something, your conversation partner can't help but have positive feelings for you. You can also draw others into the conversation as they pass by—a group of three or four is always easier to take leave of.

And once the conversation is over, don't waste time worrying about what you've just said, what you wish you hadn't said, or what you are going to say next time. In the final analysis, what people will remember is not what was said—after all, less than 20% of information is transmitted through words. Rather, they will remember how it felt to speak with you. Do you remember the exact content of conversations you had a week ago? No. But you probably remember how it felt. It's the emotional imprint of the conversation that remains etched in their minds.

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Known as the "Charisma Coach", Olivia's client list includes Citigroup, Deloitte & Touche and the United Nations. Her passion for communication has brought her to lecture at Harvard, Yale, and MIT; she frequently appears as guest expert in media such as BusinessWeek, Crain's New York, Bloomberg or Sirius Satellite Radio.

Her topics of expertise include charisma (yes, it can be taught!), influence, and persuasion. She is available for TV, radio, and news interviews-- she's witty, charming and your audience will love her. You can ask Olivia..

* How to make a fantastic first impression

* How to master the art of conversation

* How to work a room with ease, grace and efficiency

* Dealing with difficult people

* How to postion yourself as an expert in your field

* How to master the science of influence and persuasion

* Personal Branding: it's All About You