Labor Day has passed, and fall is quickly approaching. The days are getting shorter, the air is getting crisper, and the school buses are coming through the neighborhood. 

And it’s that time when we start thinking about the year behind us and the few months left ahead. Before we know it, the end-of-year holidays and the New Year will be upon us.

 As you look at the last quarter of this year, are you asking yourself what happened to love? Did you promise yourself in January that this would be the year you would find your true love? Are you worried that you’ve lost another year?

Thankfully, it’s not too late to find love this year. Fall dating is a great time to get back out there, and I’ve got so many ideas for how you can meet new people this season.

But first, you’ve got to do some brief self-reflection on why you haven’t found dating success before now. 

Here are a few quick questions to help you evaluate if you are ready for fall dating ideas, or if you might need to make some changes first. 

1. Have you truly made time and space in your life for dating and relationships?

   Many people think they will make time for someone once they meet them, but love isn’t something that just happens in the margins. If you’re serious about finding love, you might have to rearrange some things in your life to make space and time for a new person to come into your life.

2. Do you understand your core relationship values and goals & do you have a vision for your ideal partner?

   Knowing who you are, what you want, and what you expect from a partner is key to finding true and lasting love. If you think you will just “know” when you see it, you’ll often fall for superficial traits instead of a genuine connection over shared values. You have to want the same things out of life too. Chemistry alone is not going to help you find the right person.

3. Are you online, and if so, is your dating profile actually working for you?

   You’d be amazed at how many people I have coached who just need to update their profiles! And usually in multiple ways! Does your current dating profile communicate your reasons for dating and your core relationship values to attract someone with whom you can truly connect? Does your personality shine through in your description of yourself, your interests, and communicating who is truly the right kind of partner? Are your photos current, and do they show you off to your best advantage? A few simple fixes here and there may yield huge results!

4. What roadblocks (both internal and external) have been getting in your way and stopping you from finding that special person?

   Too many people make the same mistakes over and over again because they never take the time to evaluate what hasn’t been working. Some people go after the same kind of wrong person. Others don’t know how to pace a relationship or need to improve their communication. And sometimes, a person just doesn’t date well and needs help learning how to make that initial connection. 
   

Being honest with yourself and making the necessary adjustments is the first step to being ready for and pursuing lasting love.

The next step is to make a plan and get back out there! 

Here are a couple of ideas to consider to better strategize for dating this fall. 

These ideas are all about asking yourself how you are going to get out to meet people to date this fall. 

1. Consider where you can go to connect with people who share your core relationship values.

   Once you understand what you are looking for in the perfect partner, you’ve got to go where they are! Bars and clubs are fine when you are just looking to have fun, but rarely is that where lasting love is found.

   If you value travel and adventure, are you doing adventurous things? If you value learning, are you taking classes and broadening your horizons? If you value faith, are you getting involved in the communities within your local place of worship? Love is most often found and nurtured through shared values and a common background.

2. Resolve to evaluate online matches before going out on pointless dates.

   I often hear that online dating is a waste of time, yet it is where 80% of my successfully coupled clients have found true love. And they didn’t just get lucky. They used strategy and showed up authentically. 

   The best way to date online is to lead with your core values. Also, don’t be vague about what you want and who you are looking for. Be tactful, but be clear. If you are looking to meet your future husband/wife, then say so. If you say you’re “looking to meet new people” or “just having fun” then you’ll never hear from people who are actually serious about finding love. This is not the time to be coy.

3. Commit to making dating a higher priority for you and to make time to implement fall dating activities & ideas.

   Are you too busy for a relationship? What do you need to do to become more “date available”?  

   What I usually see from my busy clients is that they are trying to squeeze in dating. So when they do finally meet someone, they are perceived as not serious or not available for a relationship. 

   If you are seriously searching for someone to spend your life with, then it’s time to make dating a priority. This may require clearing your schedule or lowering your commitments in other places. Some may question why you would give up working towards a potential promotion due to excessive travel or ending a commitment to an organization where you’ve been volunteering, so you have more time for meeting your person. But people who care about you and your future will support your efforts to make time to meet someone new.

4. Enlist “Connectors“ to expand your search and/or support your efforts to meet someone with potential.

   Connectors are friends or family members whom you would trust to introduce you to a potential match in their network. You might think that if your friends and family knew your Mr./Mrs. Right, surely they would’ve introduced you by now. But for personal introductions to work, you have to be very clear about what kind of person you’re looking for. 

   I teach all my clients how to create and communicate a 30-second infomercial that describes the kind of person they’re looking for. This should be more than just a list of physical characteristics. In creating yours, include your life goals, relationship values, and the key characteristics of an ideal partner. This will give your Connectors ideas about who you are looking to date this fall. And they may actually have someone in mind for you!
   

Fall is the perfect time to implement these ideas and refresh your dating process.

Like anything you want to achieve, there is a process to dating. And when my clients learn my values-based process, it shifts who they are looking for and how they search for love. Then all that’s left is to go out and make it happen!

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to let another year go by without love. But that means showing up, being clear about what you want, and making space for someone special. 

These strategic fall dating ideas are a great place to start, but if you’d like guidance to refine your approach and stay on track, I’d love to help you build a plan that works for you. Reach out at  https://motivatedtomarry.com/connect-with-coach-amy.  

How do you know if you are truly “ready” for a true love partner?
Take my NEW “Are You Ready to Meet Your Mate? Quiz” to discover if you have the skills and knowledge you need to take advantage of a love connection that presents itself to you!