Wedding season has a way of stirring up all kinds of feelings. It’s exciting, exhausting, romantic, expensive… especially if you’ve been that supportive friend more times than you can count. If “Always a Bridesmaid …” feels especially on brand for you at this point in your life, you know how bittersweet it is to watch your friends celebrate their special day. 

This is the time of year when you may find yourself bombarded with weddings, your friends’ baby news, and all the activities surrounding them. You may be invited to several weddings this summer. Through it all,  it is very natural to think to yourself, “What about me? When will it be my time? Where’s my happily ever after?”  

But here’s the truth: being single during the wedding season doesn’t have to feel like you’re stuck on the sidelines. In fact, it can be a powerful time to reflect, recharge, and even make some surprising connections.

So when those negative thoughts creep in, you have a couple of options …

Option 1: Politely Decline (But Know What It Might Cost)

Yes, you can decide not to go. It may even be your first instinct if the wedding season fills you with dread. Maybe you’re just not up for it emotionally, or you’re tired of being always a bridesmaid, always showing up for others while feeling unseen yourself.  And honestly? That’s okay. You’re allowed to acknowledge where you are and what you need.

However, depending on your relationship with the couple, this may not be a viable option.   If you’re very close, you may even be expected to be part of the bridal party and compelled to participate fully in the wedding activities. Declining could be considered hurtful or even insulting. Some friendships don’t recover easily from skipping important milestones like weddings. So, before you “regretfully decline,” pause and ask yourself if missing this celebration is worth the risk of hurting your friends or family?

Option 2: Show Up… But Stay Closed Off

The second choice you can decide to go and not be happy about it. This makes me think back to my own wedding.  I had a mix of recently married and single friends. However, there was one single girl who looked miserable the whole time. I could tell she was upset, and she just sat at the table, not engaging or participating in the fun. Even after all these years, I still remember wishing that she had just stayed home. 

We’ve all seen it: the sulking guest in the corner, nursing a drink and counting the minutes until they can leave. That energy doesn’t help anyone—not the bride and groom, not the guests, and certainly not you. Choosing to attend a wedding while bitter or angry only reinforces negative emotions about your own love life. And if you’ve always been the proverbial bridesmaid, it might feel like just another reminder that your turn hasn’t come yet.

But don’t let that mindset ruin the event for you and those around you. If you’re going to be there, be all in! Not just for others, but for your own heart’s sake.

Option 3: Decide to Make the Most of It

Here’s the better choice: show up with a full heart. Celebrate love. Dance. Laugh. Eat cake. Reconnect with friends. And yes, keep your eyes open! It may sound cliche, but a wedding is still a great place to meet that someone special.

I’ve seen it happen more than once. A friend of mine, who had felt like she was always a bridesmaid, met her now-husband at a cousin’s wedding after almost canceling at the last minute. 

So ask your friends, “Will there be any eligible guests I might enjoy meeting?” It’s not weird—it’s wise. That’s called being intentional. And if you’re searching for lasting love, that mindset is everything. (Just be careful not to stress out the bride too much!)

When you view each event not as a painful reminder of what you lack, but as a beautiful opportunity to celebrate joy and connect with others, you take back the power. This posture of positivity is attractive and infectious. Now only will others be drawn to it, but you’re choosing a brighter path forward in your search for love.

“Can I really find Love at a wedding?”

The phrase “always a bridesmaid, never the bride” can feel like a curse. But let’s shift the lens. It all goes back to your attitude about life.  Looking at life as an adventure and making the most of the opportunities available to you will serve you better than being upset about your current situation and dragging others down with you.

Here are a few tips to help you attract love at a wedding-

1. Sit at that singles table!  Maybe not everyone is going to be your cup of tea, but the singles table is a great place to make new friends.  Even if it’s with other “always bridesmaids”.
2. Don’t take a “plus-one”.  It might be tempting to bring a date so you don’t feel alone, but this won’t help you meet someone new. Be available and outgoing, even if it’s hard.
3. Say ‘Yes” to Dancing. Even if it’s great-uncle Sal asking you to dance, get out there, smile, and have fun. The more you engage with others, the more others will want to engage with you.
4. Be careful with your alcohol consumption. An open bar can lead to embarrassing or even toxic behavior. If you drink, decide in advance your limit, stick to it, and remember to hydrate.
5. Stay positive and joyful. Smile! Confident happiness draws others to you. Look for ways to encourage others while staying engaged and involved during the festivities.

Always being the “Bridesmaid” doesn’t mean you’re falling behind.

It means you’re still becoming the best version of yourself.  One who’s ready for the kind of relationship you truly desire. Every time you show up, give your best, love others well, and don’t give up, you’re writing your own beautiful story. People around you will notice.

Don’t forget to ask for those introductions from your friends and family.  I teach all my clients how to create and share their 30-second Info-mercial for opportunities just like these. So, as you curl your hair, iron your suit, or slip into your heels for yet another celebration, take a deep breath and remind yourself: your turn is coming. And when it does, it will be worth every moment of the wait.

I’ve been where you are, and I’ve been the bride who finally found lasting love at 41. If you’re ready to step out from the shadows and move into the spotlight, I can help. Reach out and let’s find a time to chat!