Wednesday, April 19, 2023
http://dennyhatch.blogspot.com/2023/04/186-abortion-pill-melee.html
#186 Blogpost - Wednesday, 19 April 2023
Posted by Denny Hatch
How Direct Marketers Can
Solve the Abortion Pill Melee
The Chateau Lafite Solution… and Omertà!
On January 16, 1919,America went nuts. Prohibition!
On that date the 18thAmendment of the U.S. Constitution was ratified. As of January 17, 1920, it wasillegal to buy a bottle of wine… or bourbon… or home distilled rotgut... or beer or anything else to drink containingmore than ½ of one percent alcohol.
Americans were notabout to give up wines, spirits and beer back then any more than they’re gonna ceasemaking babies (on purpose or in error) these days.
In the 1920s it didnot take long for the underworld (a.k.a. the Mob/Mafia) to figure out themechanics of satisfying consumers’ thirst all over the country while makingthemselves tons of money.
Example: The family fortune of Joseph P. Kennedy (father of President John F. Kennedy) originated in bootlegging. In 1935 Kennedy's net worth was $180 million, the equivalent of $33.5 billion in 2023). President Jack Kennedy's net worth was $260 million ($25.6 billion in 2023).
Back then quenching America's thirst wascomplicated as hell — gangs of goons in fast cars, trucks and speedboats secretlykeeping restaurants, speakeasies and private homes continually supplied with cumbersomecases of banned bottles of booze and wines — as well as clunky kegs of beer — sevendays a week.
In This New Prohibition Era (of Abortion)
Direct Marketers Can Replace Mafia Goons
Today the challengeis much simpler — getting teensy pills into the medicine cabinets of millions of oh-so-terrifiedAmerican families.
Think of it! Inthis marvelous age of miniaturization we can equate an abortion pill in 2023 toclunky cases of wine or booze or kegs of beer way back in 1923.
An Aside: About the Modern Abortion Pill
For centuries asafe, successful abortion required trained personnel, sterilized implements andreal estate — a mini operatory, doctor’s office or back bedroom.
Enter Mifepristone — tiny pills that can achieve in two seconds the same result asa ham-handed human abortionist. These tablets are a lot easier to distribute unobtrusively thancases of Lafite, Jack Daniels or kegs of beer.
BeforeAnything: Do these Pills Work? Are TheySafe?
Theanswer is yes and yes.
“Mifepristone is the first oftwo medications used in a medication abortion (also known as the “abortion pill”).Mifepristone has been safe and legal in the United States since the U.S. Foodand Drug Administration (FDA) approved the brand name Mifeprex nearly 20 yearsago. On 28 September 2000 the FDA approved the first generic form of mifepristone,following a review of the evidence that medication abortion is a safe,effective way to end an early pregnancy — with a safety record of over 99%.”—Planned Parenthood
Safety: Mifepristone vs.Penicillin vs. Viagra
(20 years of Statistics)
Mifepristone: 5 deaths permillion users
Penicillin: 20 deaths per millionusers.
Viagra: 48 deaths per million users.
—U.S.Food and Drug Administration
How the Lafite Solution Would Work
Asa die-hard direct marketer, I would set up a bunch of small offshore catalogcompanies offering merchandise. Oh, maybe sports clothes, jewelry, cosmetics,scented candles, cookies and candies à la The Vermont Country Store kinds ofinnocuous products. The wee Mifepristone pills could be hidden in a slightly lumpy #10 or 6"x9" First Class envelope or disguised in the wrapping paper of myriad unobtrusive small packages amidst the crapmerchandise.
The Feds couldn't possibly (and wouldn't dare) open and inspect every slightly lumpy envelope or package shipped by the USPS, UPS and FedEx.
Welcometo the Modern Mob!
A votresanté!
And…Don't forget Omertà! (The legendary Mafia code of absolutesilence made famous by Mario Puzo in The Godfather.)
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Word Count: 613
6" x 9" 292pp
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At age 15, Denny Hatch—as a lowly apprentice—wrote his first news release for a Connecticut summer theater. To his astonishment it ran verbatim in The Middletown Press.He was instantly hooked on writing. After a two-year stint in the U.S. Army (1958-60), Denny had nine jobs in his first 12 years in business. He was fired from five of them and went on to save two businesses and start three others. One of his businesses—WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletterand archive service founded in 1984—revolutionized the science of how to measure the success of competitors’ direct mail. In the past 55 yearshe has been a book club director, magazine publisher, advertising copywriter/designer, editor, journalist and marketing consultant. He is the author of four published novels and seven books on business and marketing.
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