#179 – Wednesday, 1 February 2023

Postedby Denny Hatch

 A CATASTROPHIC FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT COCK-UP 

Two Old Presidents and a Bad Acting Archivist

 Okay,you ask, why in the world is this blog — nominally devoted to direct marketingheadlines, copy, junk mail, space advertising, design and the mechanics ofe-commerce — concerned with a gawdawful failure of the U.S. Government?

Quitesimply the media — print, TV and e-commerce — are ecstatic about having a newgovernment piñata to flog unto death—the blizzard of highly sensitive Secretand Top-Secret documents turning up in odd places — e.g., Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago Florida resort and President Biden's old Veep's office in Washington DC. Or not turning up at all.

Themain business of today’s media is a sick cycle of riling up audiences with angstand anger in order to generate huge readership and high ratings that translate into ads,obscene profits and deliriously happy shareholders.

We are all direct marketers—a small cadre of conceptual thinkers,business builders and problem solvers. Clients and customers can come to us, say, withan idea for a product or service and we are paid to do a deep dive into ourlife experiences that can make a new business come alive... and make it profitable.Good for the client. Good for customers. Good for the economy. When a prospectcalls, our standard question is: “How can I help?”

With that in mind I started thinking about helping a confused andinept federal government get out of the self-made mess that it finds itself in. 

Let's Start with thePackaging—the Dismal Teaser Copy  

ALL INDIVIDUALS HANDLING THIS INFORMATION ARE  REQUIRED TOPROTECT IT FROM UNAUTHORIZED DISCLOSURE IN THE INTEREST OF THE NATIONALSECURITY OF THE UNITED STATES.

HANDLING, STORAGE, REPRODUCTION AND DISPOSITION OFTHE ATTACHED DOCUMENT MUST BE IN ACCORDANCE WITH APPLICABLE EXECUTIVE ORDERS,STATUTES AND AGENCY IMPLEMENTING REGULATIONS.

This is ho-hum legalese copy (in all caps that are known to bedifficult to read). Nor does it contain any of the 7 key copy drivers—theemotional hot buttons that make people act.

Fear – Greed – Guilt –Anger –
Exclusivity – Salvation – Flattery

My immediate thinking: Let’s make this sucker memorable. Let’s addsome Fear and scare the bejesus of anyone who stumbles across this thing.

The addition of a startling $1000-a-day penalty for the latereturn of a single document is unheard of.It is a first — only a first — step toward solving this challenge. It fits thetextbook example of my six-word definition of Direct Marketing:

“Attract immediateattention and change behavior.” 

The Care and Handling of America’s  Secrets

The two main Federal Government entities creating Secret and Top-Secret documents are theNational Security Agency (NSA) and Central Intelligence Agency (CIA).

For decades we gullible Americans have taken for granted the guaranteed safeand secure oversight of the millions of national and international secretsamassed by our government, our scientists, our allies and our enemies. 

This vast cache of information — the Fort Knox of America’sintellectual, diplomatic, scientific and wartime history and secrets therein —is housed in the U.S. National Archives and Records Administration (NARA) withheadquarters in Washington, D.C. and 40 branches nationwide.

Only insiders with ironclad security andconfidential credentials are cleared to handle these national treasures. 

Oops! Surprise! Americans and Our
Foreign Allies May Be in Grave Danger!

IN THE NEWS:
FBI Found More Than 11,000 Government Records at Trump's Florida Home
WASHINGTON — They riskimprisonment or death stealing the secrets of their own governments. Theiridentities are among the most closely protected information inside Americanintelligence and law enforcement agencies. Losing even one of them can set backAmerican foreign intelligence operations for years.
     Clandestine human sources are the lifeblood of anyespionage service. This helps explain the grave concern within Americanagencies that information from undercover sources was included in some of theclassified documents recently removed from Mar-a-Lago, the Florida home offormer President Donald J. Trump — raising the prospect that the sources couldbe identified if the documents got into the wrong hands.
—Julian E. Barnes,Mark Mazzetti with Adam Goldman, The New York Times,  26 August 2022

IN THE NEWS:
Biden’s legal team found another batch of classified documents in search ofsecond location
President Joe Biden’s legal team found another batch of classified governmentrecords following the initial discovery of classified documents at his formerthink tank office in Washington this past fall, people briefed on the mattertold CNN on Wednesday.
—Phil Mattingly, Evan Perez, Maegan Vazquez, Kevin Liptak and Kaitlan Collins, CNN, Updated 8:28 PM EST, Wed January 11, 2023

IN THE NEWS: 
Former VP Mike Pence says he takes 'full responsibility' for classified documents found at his Indiana residence.
"Mistakes were made. And I take full responsibility," he said during remarks while in Florida.
—John L. Dorman, BUSINESS INSIDER, January 28, 2023

The Immediate Effects of a $1000-a-dayLate Fee
1.It creates fear. This exorbitantly high penalty says to all who handle secretdocuments that these are very precious, valuable commodities. Carelessness will not be tolerated. Screw up and it's financialruin.

2.Let's say that one thousand of the of the 11,000 documents discovered at the Mar-A-Lago Club were classified Secret or Top-Secret. Fines of $1000-per-day-per document would total a whopping $1 million dollars a day. In the immortal words of Illinois Republican Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen (1896-1968), "Pretty soon you're talking real money."

3. Quitesimply with the specter of these out-of-sight and ruinous penalties, no lowly secretaries,pages, gofers or goof-offs in their right minds would casually sign out Top-Secret documents at the behest of the boss and remove them from NARA. Only knowledgeable,caring oh-so-careful officials—possibly overseen by armed guards—would dare handle them.

Three Central Careless Perps Who Should Know Better

(Left) Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr.,46^th President of the United States. (Middle)  Debra Steidel Wall, Acting Archivist of theUnited States. (Right) Donald John Trump, 45^th President of theUnited States.

From the Gospel According to Charles Schulz

The Only Safe Venues for Handling These
Pesky SECRET and TOP-SECRET Documents

About"SECRET//SCI"

“SCI” is short for “Sensitive Compartmented Information.”These documents should never go home in a borrower’s jacket pocket, purse orbriefcase. Rather they are mandated to be examined in a SCIF – Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility.

According to the U.S. Department of Defense, a SCIF is any secure place, permanent ortemporary, in which classified material “may be stored, used, discussed and/orelectronically processed.”

Above:White House SCIF where President Trump and Steve Bannon preside over a meeting.Bottom left is a modular SCIF being used by President Obama and Valerie Jarrett.Bottom right is a temporary tent SCIF set up in Brazil being used by Obama and histeam.

Themany hundreds (perhaps thousands) of these sanitary andisolating SCIFs are available on the ground as prefab buildings, dedicated roomsin buildings, in aircraft or on ships at sea. Here is where secret documentscan be studied, and face-to-face conferences and presentations can be held.Confidential Zoom meetings can take place (so long as all participants are all in SCIF venues). At session's end all records and results are tobe catalogued and deposited back intothe NARA mother lode. 

Takeaways to Consider:
Asking Your Help!

IN THE NEWS:
Classified documents fiasco leaves lawmakersshaking heads: What happened?
The discovery of classified documents at thehomes of three top elected U.S. officials has left many lawmakers and formergovernment workers shaking their heads and wondering how the country has endedup in this situation...
     The findings havelawmakers and aides who have dealt with classified documents puzzled over howthere could be a breakdown in process in consecutive administrations, and ithas triggered discussion over what reforms could prevent such mistakes fromhappening in the future. It has also left some officials worried that it willfurther erode trust in government institutions...
     “I think it is anembarrassment because at a minimum it’s bad management,” said DaniellaBallou-Aares, who served as a senior adviser in the State Department during theObama administration and now runs the Leadership Now Project...
     “Clearlythere are loopholes you can drive a Mack truck through.” —Sen. John Thune (R-SD)...
—BrettSamuels and Al Weaver, THE HILL - 01/29/23 6:00 AM ET

The above is an excerpt from the 1045-wordstory. Here’s the link. Read it and weep.

• What can we do to help the U.S. Government turn this lemon into lemonade? 

• We are all direct marketers—conceptual thinkers. Clients come to us with an idea for a product or service and we are paid to do a deep dive into our life experiences and make this business come alive... and make it profitable.

• Readers of this blog are all among the savviest professionals in the business community. I ask you to ignore the hand-wringing weenies, whiners and flame throwers in Washington, in the media (and in Putin's and Jim Jordan's hip pockets) to help Uncle Sam come up with ideas for a solution to this mess.

• To repeat: How can we help make this lemon into lemonade?

• Thank you.

• I'm sure our Uncle Sam will thank you.

• Cheers.

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