Why Did Chelsea Manning Want to Die by Suicide; the Answer May Surprise You
Depression and Suicide runs in my family. My grandmother died by suicide, my mother found her. My great aunt died by sucide, my mother and I found her. I was four years old, and I screamed for days. And I came close enough to dying by suicide that I can tell you what the barrel of my gun tastes like. Spoiler alert, I did not pull the trigger.
I've been asked more than once, why did I want to die. The fact is, that I did not want to die, I just wanted to end the pain. Chances are, most people who are circling up on suicide don't want to die, they just want to end the pain. If they could pull the trigger, and wake up the next day, pain free, that would be ideal, but it doesn't work that way.
My guess is, Chelsea Mannings attempt, wasn't a suicide attempt, it was simply an attempt to end the pain. She'd been held in contempt of court for several months, released and free for a little over a week, and then went back on a contempt charge last May, and couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Depression and thoughts of suicide are often the result of a hopelessness. A why bother. And she had the three legs of the thoughts of suicide stool. She was socially isolated, she'd given voice to avoiding testifying to the grand jury by starving herself, rather than comply, and I'd wager she had probably thought, as many people do, as I did, that the world would be better place without her. It's called burdensomeness.
So, I do not beleive that she wanted to die, she just wanted to end the pain.
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Frank King
The Mental Health Comedian
The Mental Health Comedian
Springfield, OR
858.405.5653