Some kids are very chatty. This can be adorable to adults who are charmed by their exuberance. Or it can seem relentless. It can also be overwhelming or annoying for peers.

There are many reasons why children might speak nonstop. Sometimes it happens because they are bubbling over with excitement. Anxiety can also drive excessive nervous chattering. Some kids are impulsive and tend to speak whatever comes to mind. Some kids talk aloud as they think things through. And some kids just haven’t learned the skills they need to engage in back-and-forth conversation.

Learning to speak briefly

Has your child ever told you a story in painful detail? It takes practice and cognitive maturity to be able to sift through to distinguish essential from nonessential information. But weeding out unnecessary details makes the story more interesting and enjoyable for listeners.

You could give your child two examples to illustrate this:

• Example 1: “When I walked to school this morning, I saw the circus had come to town!”
• Example 2: “I took a step with my left foot. Then I took a step with my right foot. Then I took a step with my left foot…”

Ugh! Even if the second story gets to the circus part, it’s a painful slog through unnecessary details!

To practice speaking briefly, you could ask your child to tell you about her day using the formula "First... Then... Then... Finally..." That way, they can practice pulling out the main points instead of going on at length about every little detail.

Play conversation catch

Friendly conversations involve taking turns so each person gets a chance to speak. If one person goes on too long, it’s like hogging the ball in a game of catch—no fun at all! You could also try having a conversation while tossing a ball back and forth so she gets the idea of ask-and-answer conversational turn-taking. Say something, then ask a question and toss the ball to give the other person a chance to speak.

Be aware of the conversation pie

Sometimes, an image can get through to kids better than words. You could draw a circle and tell your child, “This is the conversation pie. Everyone wants to get their fair share.” You could then draw lines to divide the pie evenly into four pieces and say, “If there are four people in a conversation, then each should get to talk about one-fourth of the time. That's fair and feels good.”

Next, draw a circle and divide it so one piece takes up 90 percent of the pie and the other three pieces are squished into the remaining 10 percent. Explain, “If one person is doing almost all the talking, that leaves very little room for the other people.”

Respect stop signals

Another topic that may be useful is recognizing "stop signals." We all make social mistakes, and that's OK, as long we don't persist. Help your child list signs that someone wants them to stop talking (e.g., "Be quiet!"; "You're being annoying!"; “Shhh!”; turning away). When your child hears or sees one of those, they need to stop as quickly as possible. Otherwise, it’s like saying, “I don’t care what you want!” If your child needs a couple of seconds to wind down, they could say, "I'm going to stop now." It's a little awkward, but it communicates, "I hear you, and I'm working on it."

Choose good moments to talk

Sometimes the problem isn’t how much kids talk but when they choose to do it. Ask your child, “What are some signs that someone is open to talking with you?” (They’re smiling, asking questions, making comments….) and “What are some signs that it might not be a good time for that person to talk?” (They’re frowning, distracted, working hard on something.…) Choosing good moments to talk can make the conversation partner more open.

Conversation skills take practice to learn. A little guidance might spare your child some frustration and hurt feelings. Paying attention to how conversation partners are responding can also offer important clues. If the other person seems interested and responsive, then your child is on a good conversational track.