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Welcome to Autumn Edition - Dale Irvin's Friday Funnies
Dale Irvin -- Very Funny Speaker Dale Irvin -- Very Funny Speaker
Chicago, IL
Thursday, September 23, 2021


    We have officially entered the season known as autumn. Some people refer to the season as fall but that is usually because they can't spell autumn. Either way, it is the season for harvesting, and reaping, and setting the clocks back one hour so that it gets dark after lunch. It's also the season of falling leaves which have to be raked up and disposed. I prefer to use my electric leaf blower to blow all of the leaves, usually into my neighbor's yard.

    When people go out to see all of the beautiful colored leaves, they are called leaf peepers and I wonder if that's legal. My uncle Buckie was a window peeper and he got 30 days, so be careful when you are out there leaf peeping.

    On a side note, The Friday Funnies will be on hiatus next week as I do some peeping of my own. So, no Funnies next week but I will tell you all about my adventure on October 8. Now prepare for some news peeping with today's Friday Funnies.


    A new super-secret Air Force One jumbo jet is being constructed in San Antonio, Texas and has the most highly classified technology to protect the president. In fact, two identical planes are being built at a cost of $3.9 BILLION. The super secret planes are being built by workers with the highest security clearance. That's why it was a surprise this week when 2 empty tequila mini bottles were found in the fuselage. 

    Authorities don't know where the tequila in the plane came from but stressed that it did not come from the president's personal supply.


    A group of high school students at the the Brooke Charter School in Boston were ready to go on a field trip, but due to the pandemic school bus drivers were in short supply. So since there were no school busses available, the teachers improvised and hired a party bus for the field trip. The party bus came complete with neon lights and stripper poles. 

    I do not know where the field trip was headed but I'm sure the kids learned a lot before they even got there, and some of them even picked up some extra lunch money. 


    This pandemic has caused people to do anything to beat the boredom. Usually they try to attain a Guinness World Record by doing something stupid like making the world's largest ball of naval lint, but this week, we have a real winner.

    Leslie Allison-Seei is organizing an attempt to set the record for the largest dog wedding. That's right, tomorrow she is hosting a mass ceremony, hoping that more than 178 canine couples who will wed to beat the old record for dog weddings. And if your dog doesn't have a mate, they can take part in doggy speed dating to find the perfect spouse. I don't get it but I can envision the moment when the wedding officiant says, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may sniff the bride."

As The Professional Summarizer I add a new dimension to your next meeting - especially the virtual ones we all have now.

I listen to the entire meeting and pay attention to every detail. Then I report back to the audience on what they should have learned in the form of a comedy monologue.

What I did with this week's news I can do for your meeting.

News Media Interview Contact
Name: Dale Irvin
Title: Professional Summarizer
Dateline: Downers Grove, IL United States
Direct Phone: 630-235-2038
Cell Phone: 630-235-2038
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