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The Importance of Being Charming
Barbara Morris - Pharmacist - Writer - Aging Issues Barbara Morris - Pharmacist - Writer - Aging Issues
Escondido, CA
Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Barbara Morris, R.Ph.

My new career in real estate  requires that I interact well with clients. In other words, I need to be charming -- more charming than I already am.  You may be thinking, "How can Barbara possibly be any more charming than she already is?" I'm thinking the same thing but I am always open to improvement.devil

To improve my " charm quotient" I need to understand that today, feelings are easily hurt if a politically incorrect  word or term is unintentionally used,  or if  your tone is perceived as harsh or judgmental. Look at the furor created recently when Donald Trump's tone was considered offensive. Anchors and pundits at CNN became positively apoplectic. (I totally understand. I was horrified as well.)

It seems everybody is offended by something, so I need to learn how to deal with that new reality and be charming about it.

To start, I must stop being blunt. If you tell me something patently untrue, I can no longer tell you that you are full of crap because that's not charming. I must find a way to respond to you in a warm and fuzzy way and not offend your delicate sensibilities.  If you are a male with facial hair, I must not tell you how disgusting I think it is, and I certainly can't say you look like an old fart because that would be intolerant and judgmental. Sure, "old" people are allowed to say whatever they want to say but I'm not "old" so I can't get away with that excuse.

I also need to learn to use the new way of communicating (newspeak)  using acronyms, abbreviations, and clichés, (not necessarily related to real estate). For example:

  • You don't contact people, you "reach out" to them.
  • When you go to a doctor for a test, the result is explained  in acronym-eze:  "The MRI showed you have a UTI, an OAB and a  STD but no one will know because you are protected by HIPPA." (It would take too much time to explain  you have a urinary tract infection and urinate  a lot. And oh, by the way, you have a sexually transmitted disease but no one will know because privacy laws (giggle giggle) insure confidentiality.
  • When conversing about current events, it's important to understand our government doesn't deal with  intelligence, it's "intel". Regulations are "regs". Our dear leader is POTUS. "The Supremes" is not a Motown musical group, but members of the SCOTUS.
  • When coming to a conclusion, you "get  to the bottom line" "at the end of the day."

So, the bottom line (cliché) is that in order to successfully interact with others, I must be totally charming, tolerant, nonjudgmental, flexible, and conversant in newspeak. That's a tall order.

To help me achieve my goal,  a charming friend, not wanting to be judgmental about my so-so social prowess,  suggested that I read The Power of Charm by Brian Tracy and Ron Arden. I really didn't think I needed to read it, but I read it not once but twice (it's a quick read) and I love it! I am now so insufferably  charming it could torch your tush. (A not so charming cliché)

For example, as a result of reading The Power of Charm I now tell  everyone I meet how much I appreciate them, speaking slowly, with a slight tilt of my head,  while gazing into their eyes. I know that sounds like something out of a schmaltzy romance novel, but that maneuver is considered charming.  I already tell people I appreciate them -- do I really have to do the gazing thing? Yes, I do, because  I am determined to master whatever it takes to be charming.

But, I don't know -- at the end of the day (cliché),  do I really need to be charming if I don't feel like being charming? The answer is,  if you want to get along well with others, you WILL be charming.  Everyone likes a charming person, even when they know (and you know) you are full of it.##

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Name: Barbara Morris, R. Ph.
Title: Editor, Publisher
Dateline: Escondido, CA United States
Direct Phone: 760-480-2710
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