Marilyn L. Redmond, BA, ABH, IBRT

 Mysticism is a path ofaction. Growing up, taking action for me was not part of my life. In adysfunctional family, I was not allowed to make choices for myself. Finally,living on my own and on a spiritual path changed that. The fear of beingpunished for the wrong decisions could upset someone's plan. I felt that Iwould be doomed if I got off the fence and took action in my life. My parentsthought their wishes were not to be disrupted by anyone. For me to make apreference was a frightening idea. What if someone did not like my choice? Ihad always been a fence sitter, as what if I made the wrong decision and thingsdid not go well.

My first action was to allowmy feelings to thaw from being frozen for years. It was necessary for me tofind a safe place and get honest with myself. Opening up with honesty,open-mindedness, and willingness to move out of my victimization, was a hugestep. I needed to tell my story and began to learn about feelings. Fortunately,I found a psychiatrist who understood my plight and I felt safe to finallyshare what was bottled up inside for many years. I was heard for the first timeand was given some assistance to understand the mental illness in my family. Hepatiently listened and made a few validating comments if I were on tract.

My next action took courageto talk about my resentments, fears, and abuse that kept me a victim andwounded. I was breaking the family rules. I was not allowed to talk or havefeelings in the family; there was no real communication. I became a walkingrobot without feelings.

The decision to attend 12step meetings was life changing. I found a mentor to continue the role of thepsychiatrist. Another action included stopping my prescriptions so I could berational in making healthy decisions. Gradually, I was able to make decisionsthat would alter my life completely.

Getting a divorce, living onmy own, being responsible for a house, and finances were measures I needed toassume. Over time, I was able to move into an ordinary life style by my sanedecisions to take appropriate steps at the right time and for the rightreasons.

I found the more I tookaction the better my life felt. My energy felt like the old troubles wereflowing out. The ability to release the past abuse felt like my life waslightening with less baggage weighing me down. Over the years, I still amreleasing past harms, people, and situations that kept me a prisoner in my ownhead.

Learning to replace mynegative perspective for a positive one became my goal for coming out of my ownmental dungeon. I continually have more feelings surface. It is like peelingthe onion; more seems to surface and fill the empty spaces when I release oldfeelings. Attending Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Familiesmeetings gives me an opportunity for a gratifying path out of my mental jail.

Action was necessary foradopting new behaviors to free me from past circumstances. I saw it as doingthe right next thing. However, finding self-esteem enough to take on my personalpower did not happen overnight. I had to reframe my resistance and judgment tobring courage for my necessary new conduct promoting a better and healthierlife style. Learning about faith to replace my fear worked for me.

My next step became forgiveness.If I want peace then I need to forgive those in my past, totally. After that mynew focus became the "Now" which is reality. When I release the pastto live in the moment, it becomes a gift called The Present. Nowadays, my mindretrieves few harmful memories or resentments.

New ideas and actions arenecessary and productive for growth to become a mature person. Day by day, Ihave grown beyond the scared child that I was, too frightened to speak up or beaccountable. I learned to respond in loving resolutions to heal circumstances,people, and harms done that caused me to be angry from being neglected and notnurtured.

My newest action is to havecompassion for those that caused my woundedness. I realized I do not have torelive their painful lives. Recognizing that they were ill-treated peoplepassing on their hurts and harms to me, I pray for those people. Withthirty-six years into the spiritual path, I found the results to be worth everyaction I have taken. Through my moving into a more awakened emotional place, Ican be as happy as I choose to be. 

My job is to find happinessin my life with an open heart to enjoy it. Applying these ideas that are in mybook, "Paradigm Busters" at Amazon, I found a Heavenly Father who hasalways been there for me and is my true parent.     

Additional tools and help are in theanthology, "Believe and Succeed".

https://voilasuccess.com/index.php/products-page/inspirational/believe-and-succeed-the-law-of-attraction-uncovered-2021/

In addition, more support are in my books:

Amazon   https://www.amazon.com/Marilyn-Redmond/e/B0069WIKDC

or

Barnesand Nobel https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Marilyn+Redmond?_requestid=16065424