By: Courtney Ramsey, CSP 

I read a thread recently that stopped me mid-scroll. 

The topic wasn’t new, but that didn’t make it any less relevant. It was about whether speakers should attend the reception the night before they present. 

I paused because this is one of those things I still debate… every single time. 

I’m that speaker sitting in my hotel room five minutes before the reception starts, fully dressed, staring at the door, trying to decide if I’m actually going to go. 

I’m also the person who walks into that room and immediately feels like the most awkward human there. Like I actually just crashed a high school reunion and everyone knows everyone else.  

Logically, I know that’s not true. Emotionally? Not so much. 

So when this question came up in a CSP® conversation, I paid attention. And what stood out wasn’t just that most speakers go. It was how honest people were about it, and what they actually do to make it worth it. 

Here are my biggest takeaways. 

Most Experienced Speakers Go, Whether They Feel Like It or Not 

There wasn’t a lot of hedging in the responses. 

Jennifer FitzPatrick, CSP, said it plainly: “I go to everything. It’s not my favorite thing to do but I always do it!” 

Amy Climer, CSP, added, “If I’m invited, I go. Embrace the awkward. I figure it’s part of the job.” 

Thom Singer, CSP, took a similar stance: “I always attend if they ask me.” He went on to say, “If the client would like me there… It’s my job to be there…” and noted that clients have “actually thanked me for attending and pointed out that other speakers in the past have not come… And that annoys them.” 

Liz Weber, CSP, reinforced that mindset: “I still go and work the room… it’s work for me – but that’s why I’m there – so I make myself available.” 

There’s a pattern here. Not everyone loves these events. But many of the speakers who’ve been doing this a long time have decided it’s part of doing the job well. 

The Reception Is Where a Lot Of the Real Insight Happens 

Several people talked about the reception as more than just a social event. 

Kevin Snyder, CSP, described it this way: “I treat it as on-site pre-discovery. The best insights often come from those informal conversations, not just pre-event calls.” 

Linda Swindling, CSP, CPAE, said something similar: “Best intel is at the meetings. You learn terminology and facts you couldn’t pick up in calls.” 

Several mentioned that gathering “in the moment” stories and examples is a big reason they attend. The reception is often where you hear what people are really dealing with, in their own words, without a script.  

Those Conversations Show Up in the Session the Next Day 

This is where things get practical. 

Several speakers talked about how conversations at the reception directly influence what happens on stage the next day. 

Michelle Tillis Lederman, CSP, shared, “I find it so powerful when the next day I can talk about someone I met, and the audience feels special when they hear their name. It feels more personalized.” 

Kevin Snyder, CSP, said, “Then I’ll reference it in my talk, ‘someone I spoke with last night mentioned…’ which builds instant credibility and connection.” 

Alan Berg, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow, noted, “It gives you stories to tell from the stage the next day, using people from their group. It’s a powerful connection.” 

And Thom Singer, CSP, added, “I often discover stories from the people I meet the night before that I weave into my keynote…” 

Some speakers take it even further. 

Cher Holton shared that she identifies people ahead of time for interactive moments: “I am able to find a few ‘likely participants’ who I ask to be a part of what’s going to be happening the next day in my session.” 

She also shared a moment that probably saved her opening: 

“Once when I asked, ‘What haven’t they told me that you think I should know about this group?’ I learned that there was going to be an announcement that would impact a lot of the sales managers’ bonuses in a negative way… I was able to restructure the whole way I opened my session to blend into the negative news that was delivered.” 

Whether it’s learning names, gathering stories, identifying participants, or uncovering information that helps you adjust your message, these conversations can make a session feel far more relevant and connected to the audience in front of you. 

None of that requires working the entire room. It just requires a few real conversations and paying attention.  

If You Never Know What to Say, Start with Better Questions 

This is where a lot of people get stuck. 

Linda Swindling, CSP, CPAE, offered a set of questions that make these conversations easier and more useful: 

• “What is the one thing I’d be surprised about for your industry/job?” 

• “What is the toughest?” 

• “What has changed the most?” 

• “What do you hope to get out of this convention?” 

• “Who do you hope to meet?” 

• “What is the biggest question you want to ask others while you’re here?” 

• “What is your best piece of advice for negotiations/leadership?” 

She also shared something that’s easy to forget when you’re standing there feeling awkward:
“It is rare that people are distant or unfriendly. Most thank me for attending the event.” 

You Can Show Up Without Staying All Night 

As a proud introvert, this next part mattered to me. 

Brenda Bence, CSP, Global Speaking Fellow, wrote, “If it’s going to be a loud venue where I might have to speak up/strain my voice… I will go briefly but then leave early.” 

Jon Lokhorst, CSP, shared how he handles staying for a brief time. When greeting his main contact, he’ll say, “If you notice me leaving early, it’s not because I’m not having a good time. I need to be careful in loud spaces like this, to keep my voice strong for tomorrow’s event.” 

That approach gives you a way to be present without draining yourself, and without feeling awkward about leaving a bit early. 

There Is a Business Case For Being There 

A few speakers called this out directly. 

Dr. Willie Jolley, CSP, CPAE, Cavett Award Recipient, said, “I meet and greet and give out cards and get their cards, and then I talk about them and the lessons learned during my speech. And some of those folks have booked me for future events.” 

Thom Singer, CSP, mentioned that connecting with people ahead of time “Often leads to more referrals from those people after your speech.” 

John Chen, CSP, tied it to outcomes more broadly: “It’s one of many ways to earn high reviews and referrals.” 

What Stood Out to Me 

I’m going to keep it real. Even after reading through all of this, I’m not suddenly someone who loves receptions. 

I’m still going to be that person in my room debating whether to go. 

I’m still going to walk in and have that moment of “Why am I here and what do I do with my hands?” 

BUT. I love that the thread confirmed the things I already knew and need to keep telling myself! 

A reception is not a performance. Your job isn’t to impress the room. Your job is to listen, learn, and connect in small, intentional ways. 

I also love that everyone was honest about the fact that it can feel uncomfortable, but it’s still worth doing. 

If you’re wired like I am, that’s probably the most useful takeaway. 

You don’t have to work the entire room.
You don’t have to be the most social person there.
You don’t even have to enjoy it. 

You just have to go in, talk to a few people, and pay attention. 

That alone is enough to change how the next day feels on stage. 

Courtney Ramsey, CSP, helps leaders quit hitting snooze™ on the conversations that cost them trust, performance, and relationships. She speaks for associations, corporations, and conferences on leadership communication, tough conversations, and emotional intelligence. Connect with her on LinkedIn or visit courtneyramseyspeaks.com.