According to an article in Psychology Today by Stephani A. Sarkis, PhD, there are seven keys to a healthy and happy intimate relationship. In our culture today, where texting and instant gratification are the norm, it's important to remind ourselves of the important foundational work it takes to be in relationship. 

• Mutual respect—Without respect it’s very difficult to maintain real relationship. You may not agree with your partner on all things, but it's important to consistently tap into the admiration and underlying love you have for him or her on a regular basis.
• Arguing and not fighting—Yes, you can argue without fighting. This technique involves stating your point of view without name-calling or raising your voice.
• Agreement on sex—You and your partner agree on how you have sex, where you have sex, and there’s mutual participation. If there is a problem, you can talk about it openly without criticism.
• Agreement on parenting— Styles of parenting differ, and it's important to work together with your partner so you are on the same page. Will you be more authoritative or more lenient in your parenting?  
• Equality with money—Even if one of you makes more money, you both have an equal say about how it is spent. There are no hidden accounts, and together you decide before making large purchases.
• Common goals and values—Couples with very different interests can have healthy relationships. What really counts is that they share common goals and values. Couples of different religions and cultural backgrounds can have healthy relationships—sharing core beliefs fosters a fulfilling partnership.
• Fun—As the saying goes: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.." Notably there are a number of benefits from having fun: reduced stress; improved ability to cope; more energy; as well as improved memory and concentration. Being able to have fun together enhances all aspects of the relationship.

As you read through these, which ones jump out at you as aspects you may need to work on in your relationship? Which ones are easy for you? All comments are welcome. 

Although this blog focuses on intimate partnerships, many of the above keys apply to other relationships. Forthcoming blogs will address relationships with friends, relatives, co-workers, and others.