How often have you had a fight that felt like a tug-of-war, with each of you pulling as hard as you can for a different position? Not only do these fights feel particularly bad, but they also are usually quite ineffective at changing either person’s mind about the issue at stake. Typically, each side digs in deeper and deeper, leading to increasing escalation and/or distance.

Most of the time, what we believe, makes sense to us. It seems logical to us that we would believe it. However, the same is true for the person in front of us who seems to be holding a very different belief. Often, we are quite firm in our one beliefs, to the point of assuming that no other point of view could make sense. So, it could be quite interesting to find enough curiosity to explore a different belief about the same issue.

Just acknowledging more than one point of view can lead to more productive discussions, particularly when the person we are disagreeing with or having a problem with joins in and also shares more than one point of view.

One of the challenges in sharing more than one point of view is how to share our point of view in a way that doesn’t seem to invalidate the other point of view. Sometimes, it may be the words we use and other times it may be the tone of voice that signals that we aren’t really taking one of the points of view seriously. The first step is to make sure that we really are at least a little open to the possibility of another point of view. If it seems like we are only pretending to look at another view, the better to disprove it, that is likely to be noticeable.

Conflict can be constructive as long as it is managed and dealt with directly and quickly. By respecting differences between people, being able to resolve conflict when it does happen, and also working to prevent it, you will be able to maintain a healthy and creative team atmosphere.

Adapted from Jonathan Sibley‘s blog The Power of Multiple Points of View.