Saturday, May 09, 2009
"Elizabeth Edwards' new book, Resilience, brings to the forefront, aspects of infidelity that often go unnoticed or ignored," says infidelity expert Ruth Houston, a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity and popular infidelity issues in the news. Houston, who has been researching infidelity for the past 15 years, is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and author of
Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs. Expanding on her interview yesterday with Cindy Hsu on CBS News, Houston says, "Elizabeth Edwards' new book recounting her husband's affair, and her candid interview with Oprah, call attention to some important aspects of infidelity that are often overlooked – things that women struggling with issues of infidelity should know."
Insights on Infidelity from the Leaked Portions of Elizabeth Edwards' Book Below, drawing on her 15 years of in-depth research on infidelity, Houston, points out what can be learned from three of the excerpts from "Resilience" that were leaked to the public before the book went on sale.
Elizabeth Edwards Vomited When Her Husband Confessed His Affair In recounting her reaction when John Edwards confessed his affair to her, Elizabeth said,
"I cried and screamed, I went to the bathroom and threw up."
Houston says, "Though it's not widely written or spoken about, it's well-documented that infidelity victims will often experience physical reactions such as nausea, diarrhea, gastro-intestinal disturbances, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, severe headaches, loss of appetite, and insomnia – just to name a few. "
Houston continues, "The trauma of infidelity can also cause many betrayed spouses to experience PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) symptoms such as depression, anxiety, raging anger, intense shame, guilt, hyper-vigilance, flashbacks, nightmares, and more. Increasingly, marriage and family counselors are now beginning to use trauma-based therapies in treating victims of infidelity."
Elizabeth Edwards Does Not Mention Her Husband's Mistress by Name Although Elizabeth Edwards talks about her husband's mistress in the book, she avoids mentioning his mistress by name. The one and only condition of Elizabeth's interview with Oprah was the stipulation that Oprah not mention the Other Woman by name.
Houston observes, "There is nothing unusual about a betrayed wife's refusal to refer to her husband's mistress by name. In fact, this is the recommended course of action for any woman trying to reconcile with her cheating mate. Once the affair has been brought out into the open and discussed between the two parties involved, there is nothing to be gained by repeatedly referring to the Other Woman, or introducing her name into every conversation .
To refer to her by name is to make her a part of their life and give her more importance than she deserves. When trying to repair the marriage in the aftermath of an affair, the Other Woman should be ignored. Both the cheater and the betrayed wife should proceed as if she doesn't exist.
But Houston also issues this caveat, "Of course, it's possible to carry anything to an extreme. And, if a child has been born as a result of the affair, complications will arise, and other tactics may have to be used."
John Edwards Did Not Tell His Wife the Whole Truth about His Affair Even when John Edwards confessed to his wife, he lied about the affair, claiming it had only happened one time. In his original version of what happened, Elizabeth Edwards said he left out most of the truth. She writes, "It turned out that a single time was not all it was."
Houston comments, "If and when a cheating husband finally confesses to his wife, he's likely to conceal many of the facts surrounding the affair. It's not uncommon for a cheating spouse to minimize his involvement in the affair, or to continue to lie about certain aspects of it until presented with irrefutable proof."
In discussing why many cheaters lie or distort the truth when confessing their affairs, Houston had this to say, "Some cheaters lie or omit much of the truth in a misguided attempt to spare the feeling of the betrayed spouse. Others lie because they think their spouses are too trusting, or too naïve to ever find out the truth. Still other cheaters lie or obscure many of the facts because they plan to continue the affair behind the betrayed spouse's back. Regardless of the reason, it does not bode well when the cheater does such things. So a betrayed wife should always have some method of confirming whether or nor what the cheater has told her about the affair is really true."
Some of these methods are discussed on Ruth Houston's
Infidelity News and Views Blog at
http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com These methods are also discussed at length near the end of Houston's free tip sheet entitled
Is Your Spouse Cheating? – 21 Ways to Tell. For a free copy of this tip sheet, e-mail
InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with
21 Ways-X in the subject line.
To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston about the infidelity aspects of Elizabeth Edwards' book, call 718 592-6039 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com For infidelity expert Ruth Houston's comments on
Why Elizabeth Edwards and Other Wives Stay with Husbands Who Cheat, visit
http://bit.ly/8PH9E or
http://infidelityadvice.blogspot.com/ About Ruth Houston: Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of
" Is He Cheating on You?– 829 Telltale Signs which covers practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. She has been researching infidelity for over 15 years.
Frequently called on by the media to comment on popular infidelity issues in the news, Houston has been quoted in
USA Today, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Daily News, Cosmopolitan, the New York Post, the Chicago Tribune, FoxNews.com, ABCNews.com, msnbc.com, Reuters, the Associated Press, UPI and numerous other print and online media.
Houston has also appeared on
The Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, Fox & Friends, Fox News, The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, BBC, CBC and over 480 other radio and TV shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, South America, New Zealand, Australia, Africa, and the Caribbean.
To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston about the infidelity aspects of Elizabeth Edwards' book, call 718 592-6039 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com
Ruth Houston
Infidelity Expert and Author
Lifestyle Publications
New York, NY
718 592-6039