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Nina Amir From Nina Amir - Human Potential Speaker
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Nina Amir - Human Potential Speaker Nina Amir - Human Potential Speaker
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Dateline: San Jose , CA
Monday, September 28, 2020

 
Nina Amirhttps://ninaamir.comHelping You Achieve More Inspired ResultsMon, 21 Sep 2020 00:13:53 +0000en-UShourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.4.2https://ninaamir.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/NA.pngNina Amirhttps://ninaamir.com3232Helping You Achieve More Inspired ResultsNina AmirHelping You Achieve More Inspired ResultsNina Amirhttps://ninaamir.com/wp-content/plugins/powerpress/rss_default.jpghttps://ninaamir.comHow Ambivalence Stops You From Making Positive Changehttps://ninaamir.com/ambivalence-stops-positive-change/https://ninaamir.com/ambivalence-stops-positive-change/#respondMon, 21 Sep 2020 14:07:42 +0000https://ninaamir.com/?p=8374You really want to change. You’ve focused on self-improvement. Your home is littered with self-help books. You spend all your extra money and time on personal and spiritual growth courses, webinars, and coaching programs in an attempt to level up your performance in a variety of life arenas. Yet, you still struggle to make even […]

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You really want to change. You’ve focused on self-improvement.

Your home is littered with self-help books. You spend all your extra money and time on personal and spiritual growth courses, webinars, and coaching programs in an attempt to level up your performance in a variety of life arenas.

Yet, you still struggle to make even small changes in yourself and your life. It seems like no matter what you try, your habits, mindsets, and results remain the same.

What’s the problem?

You are Ambivalent

You are ambivalent about change—even though you say you want it. Specifically, you have mixed thoughts and feelings about the changes you claim to want.

Ambivalence is the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone. When it comes to change, existing in that state stops you from achieving transformation.

To achieve anything—including a personal change, you have to have clarity. Ambivalence wrecks havoc on clarity because your conflicting thoughts and feelings make it hard for you—or the Universe—to know what you really want.


You are ambivalent about change—even though you say you want it.
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Ambivalent to Change

You probably don’t realize you are ambivalent about the changes you claim to want. You say you want something, when, in fact, you aren’t sure.

On the one hand, for example, you would love to lose 20 pounds. On the other hand, you don’t want to give up eating ice cream every night.

You want a better relationship with your significant other. Yet, you don’t want to let down your walls and be open and vulnerable.

You want a promotion and a bigger paycheck each week. Still, you don’t want the additional responsibility and stress that go with that new position.

You want to be successful, but you don’t want success to change you or your life.

Do you understand now?

Seeing Both Sides

Think about any change you want to make—but haven’t accomplished yet, and I bet you can see the change from two sides.

Positive vs. negative. Want vs. Don’t Want. Pro vs. Con.

You are ambivalent. And that ambivalence prevents you from achieving the change you desire.


You say you want something, when, in fact, you aren’t sure.
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Why Don’t I Change?

I was having a conversation with a friend when this became super clear to me. We were both bemoaning the fact that the changes we wanted weren’t happening.

As a Certified High Performance Coach and long-time spiritual and personal growth junkie, I knew how to change. However, I still wasn’t succeeding in my efforts to change. My friend, who is a therapist and Certified High Performance Coach, had the same issue.

And then it hit me: “The things I want to change I also do not want to change. Or I’m afraid to change.”

“Exactly,” she said. “We are ambivalent.”

For example, I want to build my business, but I want more time to write. If I spend time building my business, I have less time to write. (Plus, the more successful my business, the more time I believe it will take up.)

I want to lose 15 pounds, but I really love my ice cream. (Yes, the example above was my own…) I want to be thinner, but I do not want to give up dessert.

As we talked, I realized why I felt so stuck and unable to change. I couldn’t make up my mind. My desires conflicted. I felt ambivalent. Therefore, no matter how hard I try to change something in myself or my life, it just doesn’t happen.

Remove Contradictory Thoughts

If you are ambivalent, wanting one thing more than you want the other will not solve the problem. You have to remove the contradictory thoughts entirely. Until you do, you continue to give the Universe mixed messages, and your ambivalence will continue to thwart your efforts.

As one thought becomes more dominant, however, creating change does become easier. But change won’t come easily and quickly until you are clear about what you really want and decide you want it without any doubt, misgivings, or fear—without contradiction.

You have to be certain you want a change. Period. Only with certainty can you create change—long-lasting change.


You have to be certain you want a change.
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Uncover Your Contradictory Thoughts

If change feels challenging, it’s highly likely that what you say you want you also do not want. Therein lies the problem. Your contradictory thoughts keep you stuck.

Uncovering contradictory thoughts can be tricky, though. Usually, you aren’t aware you even have ambivalence. While I am acutely aware of some of mine, some remain in blind spots or deeply hidden in my subconscious.

So, I started thinking about how to resolve my own ambivalence and, finally, change. I created a process that used powerful questions and high-performance ranking to help you move toward transformation by uncovering and resolving contradictory thoughts.

Give it a whirl and see if it helps. (Let me know in a comment below.) You’ll need a journal or new document on your computer and a bit of time for this exercise.

How to Reduce—or Remove—Ambivalence

First, use these four steps to get to the root of your ambivalence.

  1. Identify an area of your life where you are struggling to make a change.
  2. Make a list of the reasons you want to make that change.
  3. Make a list of the reasons you don’t want to make the change.
  4. For each reason—pro or con—rank the intensity of your belief in that reason. (Use a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the strongest.)

You now have a clear picture of your state of ambivalence. If you have only a few reasons you don’t want to change and many reasons you do, awesome! If you have a longer list of reasons not to change, you’ve got some work ahead of you.

But the reasons that you ranked six or above are the ones to which you want to pay attention.


Only with certainty can you create change—long-lasting change.
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Increase Clarity to Get to Certainty

Second, gain a bit more clarity. For each reason you ranked a six or higher, answer this question: What’s the worse or best case scenario?

In other words, if you want to receive a promotion but don’t want the added responsibility, ask:

  • What’s the worst thing that would happen if I got the promotion?
  • What’s the best thing that would happen if I got the promotion?

Dig deeper after answering those questions by answering this one: If that happened, how would it change my life for better or worse?

Then, answer these two questions:

  • If the worst thing happened, what could I do?
  • What positive outcome or opportunity might that reveal?

Your answers will give you clarity, and clarity leads to certainty. When you realize a negative outcome might not be so bad or that you can deal with it—and it might even lead to something good, you are more likely to make the change. You become certain that the change is safe, positive, and worthwhile. You negate all the negative thoughts you have about the change.

Is This True?

Let’s take this exercise one step further. Sometimes we hold onto old beliefs, and these make it hard for us to change.

For instance, my mother told me that making a career as a writer is hard and doesn’t pay much. When I think of trying to make a living as a writer—and giving up everything else I do for income, I hear her voice in my head. And I feel afraid to make the change—to write full time.

But if I ask myself, Is this true?, the answer is no. Some people make a living from their published words. When I realize what she told me—and I chose to believe—is not true, I reduce my level of ambivalence.

The negative thoughts from the past hold you back. Unfortunately, too many of them are unconscious. That means you have to uncover them to reduce your ambivalence.


Comfortable vs. Uncomfortable? Most people opt for comfort—even if they say they want to change.
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Uncovering the Source of Ambivalence

Often our unconscious thoughts stem from childhood. We are told something by someone of influence, and decide to believe them. Then we carry that belief with us through life, never asking if it is true for us.

To reduce ambivalence, uncover the source of it. Take each one of the reasons you don’t want change—especially the ones you ranked six or higher—and ask yourself:

  • Who taught me that?
  • Do I know it is true?
  • Am I trying to prove them right?
  • What if I proved them wrong?

This exercise will help you dispel some of these myths. In the process, you’ll gain more clarity and become certain about the positive effects of the change you desire.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Last but not least, determine if your struggle to change originates from the fact that change feels uncomfortable. Not only does it take you out of our comfort zone, but change often feels difficult.

That’s enough reason for ambivalence. Comfortable vs. Uncomfortable? Most people opt for comfort—even if they say they want to change.

Look over your reasons for not changing. How many of them will take you out of your comfort zone?

Consider this: *Is it better to be in your comfort zone feeling uncomfortable because you haven’t changed or in an uncomfortable zone feeling great about finally taking steps toward change?

Living in your comfort zone will keep you comfortable. But change happens in the uncomfortable zone. As long as you are ambivalent about feeling uncomfortable, you won’t change.

Keep this in mind: change doesn’t stay uncomfortable. Over time, that uncomfortable stage of change becomes comfortable.

Plus, if you are uncomfortable enough in your comfort zone, you might find change brings a much higher comfort level. Think about that… You might feel more comfortable once you change. That realization that could remove a lot of ambivalence.

If you really want change—and have struggled to achieve it, reduce your ambivalence. You’ll soon see your efforts getting results.

In which areas of your life does ambivalence stop you from creating change? Tell me in a comment below—and share your results after using the process explained above. And…please share this post with a friend or on your social networks.


Never miss one of my videos! Click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Are you ready to make some big changes? Give me an hour or so of your time, and I’ll help you gain some clarity and certainty so you start moving toward transformation faster. In the process, you’ll take huge strides toward fulfilling your potential and purpose, realizing your dreams, and becoming the best version of yourself. You know you can be more…do more…achieve more…contribute more. And it’s time to do that. Apply for a FREE breakthrough strategy session. Fill out this application.

Inspired Creator CommunityOr register for my Certified High Performance Group Coaching program here. This is a great option if you don’t feel ready for one-on-one coaching and want to enjoy the power of group learning. This program features the connection provided by community and requires a lower investment than one-on-one coaching.

Or…if you are interested in both personal and spiritual growth, join the Inspired Creator Community. This is THE place to create a life that feeds your soul. You’ll receive Certified High Performance Coaching as well as spiritual training and coaching. Find out more and join by clicking here.

Photo courtesy of ichiosea.

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How to Reduce 2020 Fatigue and Hopelessnesshttps://ninaamir.com/reduce-2020-fatigue-hopelessness/https://ninaamir.com/reduce-2020-fatigue-hopelessness/#respondMon, 14 Sep 2020 07:36:11 +0000https://ninaamir.com/?p=8354It’s been a long, tough year, and it’s not over yet. We still have three and a half months to get through before we say goodbye to 2020. I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to feel weary and a bit hopeless. That’s not like me. This year—2020—is wearing on me. It’s no wonder. […]

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reduce 2020 fatigue and hopelessnessIt’s been a long, tough year, and it’s not over yet. We still have three and a half months to get through before we say goodbye to 2020.

I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to feel weary and a bit hopeless. That’s not like me. This year—2020—is wearing on me.

It’s no wonder. Just look at the facts to understand why.

2020 Facts

Since the start of the Coronavirus pandemic, 916,296 people have died of COVID-19. As I write this (on the anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York City), there have been 28,488,957 confirmed cases in 213 countries and territories.

Additionally, there is massive unrest in the U.S. Between May 24 and August 22, ACLED recorded more than 10,600 demonstration events across the country. Over 10,100 of these involved peaceful protesters, while approximately 570 involve demonstrators engaging in violence. Well over 80% of all demonstrations are connected to the Black Lives Matter movement or the COVID-19 pandemic. Compared to last summer, that’s an increase of 42%.

And then there are the fires on the West Coast of the U.S., where I live. As of September 9, there have been 7,563 fire incidents in California in 2020. A total of 2,178,015 acres have burned and more than 4,265 structures damaged or destroyed—not to mention the eight fatalities as of September 9.

This has caused horrific air-quality issues—ones that caused San Francisco Bay Area residents to wake up to yellow-orange skies like something out of a sci-fi movie. Just as COVID-19 sent us into our homes for safety, the smokey air has sent us indoors, windows closed, air purifiers on.

And then there is the unemployment issue. The COVID-19 outbreak and the resulting economic downturn grew the ranks of unemployed Americans by more than 14 million, from 6.2 million in February to 20.5 million in May 2020. As a result, the U.S. unemployment rate increased from 3.8% in February to 13.0% in May. According to a new Pew Research Center analysis of government data, the rise in the number of unemployed workers due to COVID-19 is greater than the increase due to the Great Recession.

Plus, there is the upcoming U.S. Presidential election…and the heightened political division Americans currently feel.

Except for the world-wide COVID-19 stats, these facts relate only to the U.S. Yet, much of the world seems to be struggling, too.

As I said, it’s no wonder we feel fatigued and hopeless.


Like the highest performers in the world, find a way to thrive during adversity.
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Regain Your Energy and Hope

I’m sure that, like me, you would prefer to feel energetic and hopeful. That’s my normal state of being.

When I found myself feeling tired and depressed during the last few weeks, I knew something was wrong. The threat of fires, another heatwave, and the horrible air quality, not to mention the fact that my husband was still out of work, were the straws that broke this camel’s back.

It was just much…

I didn’t want to remain fatigued and hopeless, though. So I set out to create a strategy to remedy the problem.

Since I’m a Certified High Performance Coach, I pulled out my high-performance toolbox. Additionally, I grabbed a few tools from my spiritual toolbox. I carefully chose the ones that I felt would be most effective, and I added them to my strategy.

And that strategy worked. Within just a day or two, I felt better. I had more energy and hope, which is why I want to share it with you.

If you implement the following seven-part strategy, I feel confident that, like me, you will begin to lessen the 2020 fatigue and hopelessness you feel.

1. Get strong!

Here in California, it’s almost impossible to do anything outside right now. My daily walks are at a standstill due to the air quality, and I can’t ride my bike. I can still exercise inside to some degree.

Why is exercise important? Moving your body releases hormones called endorphins that make you feel good. Plus, sweating releases toxins from your body, which also makes you feel good.

Yes, exercise is about strengthening your body, but, in the process, you also support your mental and emotional state. Surviving 2020 requires a strong mental and emotional state. Of course, a healthy body helps, too—especially if you get sick. But when you feel good and strong emotionally and mentally, you approach every challenge with a more positive mindset. And that’s essential right now.


Learn not to just deal with the situations presented but to succeed despite them.
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2. Focus your attention.

I don’t usually watch a lot of news—just enough to stay apprised of what’s happening globally. When the coronavirus pandemic hit, though, I started watching a lot of news. The more I watched—or read online—the more my mood and productivity plummeted.

So, I backed off all the online news I was consuming. Instead, I joined my husband in watching the news in the evening—local and national. This was still more than I had been watching before March 2020.

As of this week, I am cutting back again. Instead of news, I’ll read a book, listen to a positive podcast, take an online course, work on a passion project, or watch a feel-good show or movie.

I am all for staying on top of national and world news, but a constant barrage of bad news is not good for your psyche or soul. And it places your focus on negative things that are, to a great extent, outside of your control.

Try reducing your news consumption as well. In the extra time you have, find something positive, motivating, or inspirational to focus your attention. Watch how your mood and energy level improve.

3. Be of service.

Many people look at what is happening in the world and feel helpless. They assume, with good reason, they can’t make a difference.

Feeling that way weighs on you…makes you feel heavy, unmotivated, and tired. Maybe depression sets in and makes you want to go to bed and pull the covers up over your head.

You may not have the ability to put out wildfires, solve race issues, or create a vaccine, but you can make a difference. You can be of service to your family and friends. You can contribute to your community. You can help your clients or customers.

Every day when I coach clients or write and publish blog posts like this one, I feel confident I make a difference in people’s lives. My impact might be small compared to protestors, firefighters, doctors, and other first responders. Still, I contribute in my own little way. And that makes me feel better.

Consider how you can serve others or contribute. Then take action. Do something that makes a difference—even a small one. You’ll immediately feel better.


Do something that makes a difference—even a small one. You’ll immediately feel better.
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4. Have faith.

You’ve probably heard the adage that God never gives you more than you can handle. Or maybe you’ve been told that the Universe has your back. No matter your religious or spiritual beliefs, it’s at times like these that you must muster up the faith that it will all turn out okay.

Trying to understand why any of these things are happening can feel futile. And, more often than not, hindsight is 20–20. At this moment, you may not find meaning in the events and experiences of your life.

But you can have faith that you will be okay. You can have faith that you will learn and grow through this year.

4. Grow.

Indeed, if ever there was a time grow personally and spiritually, it’s this year. Not only will doing so help you in the present, but it will help you in the future.

ICCRight now, you need to be at the top of your game. That means you need to become a high performer in every area of life.

If you get better at relationships, health, and business, you stand a better chance of making it through 2020 in good shape. Level up your courage, clarity, creativity, and contribution. Improve your productivity, influence, health, and ability to reduce stress.

Generally, do whatever you can to step into the best version of yourself. Invest in your personal and spiritual growth. This is how you set yourself up to win in any situation.

5. Give yourself on a timeout.

When the world around you gets to be too much, and you feel as if you are going to break, give yourself a timeout. Just like a little kid who has misbehaved, take yourself somewhere quiet, sit yourself down, and take some time to just be.

Turn off the television and the Internet. Put away your phone. Shut out all external inputs.

Then just sit.

You can meditate. Or you can think. Or you can do nothing at all.

Stay on your timeout until you feel calm and centered. Then you can return to your day.

Remember: We all need a timeout now and again. This is especially true when our lives or the world around us bring up strong emotions within us. Before you strike out, scream, or shout at someone you care about, take yourself to your timeout chair. Doing so is a gift to yourself and those you love, too.


Invest in your personal and spiritual growth to set yourself up to win in any situation.
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6. Stick to the schedule.

When things seem crazy around you, a schedule provides stability and normality. For many, working from home has been challenging because their regular schedule got tossed to the wind.

Now, more than ever, schedules are necessary. Your kids need them. You need them. Everyone needs them.

Get out a calendar or planner, and block time for all the things you need to do. Give this schedule some regularity. For instance, always have dinner, get to your desk, do laundry, or work out at a specific time. Be enormously consistent.

When so much of life is uncertain, your schedule will give you certainty. Consistency of action goes a long way toward feeling safe and secure.


We all need a timeout now and again.
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7. Feel gratitude.

I know 2020 has been tough…in so many ways. Maybe you got sick or had a loved one die of COVID-19. Possibly you lost your home in a fire. Perhaps you lost your job and haven’t been able to find a new one. Or your business didn’t survive the economic shutdown.

I bet you have at least a few things about which you could express gratitude. Feel grateful for your health and safety, the people who have helped or supported you, your unemployment or insurance check, the opportunity to start over, or your perseverance.

Gratitude is the strongest prayer you can say. And it’s an enormously powerful antidote to discouragement. Take a moment to make a list of all the things you can feel grateful for at this moment. Feel your emotional state change.


Consistency of action goes a long way toward feeling safe and secure.
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Prep for 2021 and Beyond

While 2020 will eventually come to an end, in all likelihood, 2021 require us to deal with the same issues, even if to a lesser degree. You must learn not to just deal with the situations presented but to succeed despite them.

Even better, like the highest performers in the world, find a way to thrive during adversity. That skill will serve you well no matter what life throws your way.

How do you reduce your 2020 fatigue and hopelessness? I’d love to know. Leave me a comment below, and please share this post with a friend.


Never miss one of my videos! Click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Would you like to develop strategies to help you face life challenges successfully? Give me 90 minutes of your time, and I’ll help you discover the inspired next steps that will help you achieve the personal and spiritual growth you desire. Apply for a FREE Certified High Performance Coaching strategy session. Fill out this application.

Or, if you prefer a spiritual and personal growth program, become a member of the Inspired Creator Community. Become a Founding Member and learn to live a life that feeds your soul.

Or register for my Certified High Performance Group Coaching program here. It’s a great option if you don’t feel ready for one-on-one coaching and want to enjoy the power of group learning. Join any time!

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How to Unfold and Show Up Bighttps://ninaamir.com/how-unfold-show-up-big/https://ninaamir.com/how-unfold-show-up-big/#respondMon, 07 Sep 2020 07:36:07 +0000https://ninaamir.com/?p=8345Do you cover up your talent, intelligence, creativity, uniqueness, or skill because you are afraid to show people who you are? Many people don’t feel safe showing up authentically. As a result, they fold up to hide aspects of themselves. They get small. I often get hired as a Certified High Performance Coach by people […]

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how to unfold and show up big

Do you cover up your talent, intelligence, creativity, uniqueness, or skill because you are afraid to show people who you are? Many people don’t feel safe showing up authentically. As a result, they fold up to hide aspects of themselves. They get small.

I often get hired as a Certified High Performance Coach by people who want more self-confidence, self-esteem, and courage. They want to stop feeling small and insignificant—and showing up that way. They would like to be authentic and whole—to show up big…and play big.

How You Become Small

You can’t play big if you’ve shrunken yourself into a tiny version of your self. To play big, you have to grow big again and display all aspects of yourself.

When you came into this world, you played big in every way. Nothing restricted you from showing everyone who you were.

As you got a little older, though, you began to react to negative events by shrinking. Every time something painful happened to you, you became smaller. You felt unsafe as who you were, so you hid by not demonstrating the qualities or characteristics that received judgment or criticism.


You can’t play big if you’ve shrunken yourself into a tiny version of your self.
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Reasons for Hiding

I can think of many things that made me shrink and hide. Let’s just look at the ones I can remember from my early childhood through college:

  • I lied to my dad and got spanked.
  • My father died when I was seven.
  • I wasn’t chosen first—or even second—to be on a team in P.E. class.
  • I was teased in high school for being Jewish.
  • My mother insinuated I wasn’t a good writer.
  • The boys I liked didn’t like me.
  • My friends in college all had other BFFs.
  • My magazine journalism professor threatened to fail me last semester of my senior year.
  • I didn’t qualify for a big equestrian event.
  • I was called the “teacher’s pet.”
  • The kids in my bunkhouse at camp short-sheeted my bed.
  • My best friend stole my boyfriend.
  • I did so poorly in freshman math that I had to take a math course over the summer.

I could go on, but you get the idea. With each outside judgment, criticism, embarrassment, hurt, or failure, I decided to become smaller.

You can see how you might all but disappear before you even graduate college. At the very least, you adopt a demeanor and posture that makes it nearly impossible for others to notice you.

Your Folded Paper

Inspired Creator Community - personal and spiritual growth to feed your soulThink of yourself as a large piece of paper. When you were born, the paper was flat and uncreased. Anyone who looked at it saw all of you—every aspect.

But each time someone judged or criticized you or you felt wrong or not good enough, you folded a little corner of the paper, making it just a tad smaller. Every time you failed, felt embarrassed, were told you could do better, or were rejected, you folded another corner—or a larger part of the paper. (Maybe you even folded it in half…and then in half again.)

Negative experiences continually caused you to fold the paper smaller until it couldn’t be folded anymore. No one—not even you—could see all the facets of you. And your behaviors became limited by the fact that most of you was inaccessible, folded up inside the paper.

How to Unfold

To be big and play big, you have to become large again. You have to unfold the paper.

This takes time. You’ll unfold a little bit here and there and test if showing up a bit bigger, allowing more of yourself to be seen, feels safe. If so, you’ll unfold a bit more.

And that’s the process of unfolding. Eventually, the paper lies almost flat again—a little creased and crumpled but no worse for the wear. All of you is there for anyone to see, and you can show up fully.

That’s when you can play big because you show up big.


To be big and play big, you have to become large again.
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The Facets of Your Paper

Interestingly enough, when you unfold the paper, all those creases and the reasons they exist make it easier for you to play big. Each line gives you more character, wisdom, and ability to take steps forward. The creases give you the ability to show up as your full self with confidence.

So, never look at the unfolded paper as if there’s something wrong with it…as if it is less than or not as worthy as the clean, white, uncreased version you arrived with at birth.

Be proud of the creased paper that is you…and of your ability to unfold and show yourself fully.

The Unfolding Process

So how do you unfold the paper? Little by little.

Become conscious of the places in your life where you are playing small or shrinking. Once you’ve recognized these, examine them closely to uncover why you folded the paper in the first place.

To do so, ask yourself, “What caused this crease?”

Usually, there’s a story behind the fold. Once you discover it, take that story back to the facts—not your interpretation of what happened.

Each fold was created by your interpretation of an event. Something happened, and you gave the event meaning. You decided the experience was a negative reflection of you—that you were not okay.

To unfold, stop seeing yourself through that lens. Break down each crease-related story to its bare basics—the facts. Drop the interpretation, and you’ll discover there was…and there is…no reason for the crease in your paper.


Be proud of the creased paper that is you.
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Break Down the Stories

Let’s look at an example. Perhaps, you are playing small at work. The last time you folded up in that environment was two years ago when your boss said your work wasn’t up to par and threatened to fire you if it didn’t improve. That caused a big career-related fold.

Now, look at that situation objectively. When your boss reprimanded you, you felt embarrassed, not good enough, and afraid. So you folded up and became a bit smaller in an attempt to hide.

Consider that time in your life. Maybe you were struggling in a significant relationship, which caused you to be distracted at work. Therefore, your productivity and work quality decreased.

When your boss said to you, “Hey, you need to up your game, or I’m going to have to let you go,” he was providing facts. And his assessment of your work was correct.

With objective hindsight, you can see that he was simply commenting on the quality of your work. You interpreted his words to mean you were not good enough.

In fact, you were good enough, but you had lost your focus at work. You just needed to regain that focus. Had you done that, you would have continued showing up and playing big.

When you can see that an event had little to do with the essence of who you are, you can boldly unfold your paper a bit.

Find the Facts

I recall a time in middle school when I wasn’t chosen for a basketball team in P.E. class. I saw not being selected as a reflection of how the other girls in my class felt about me. Obviously, they didn’t like me, or they would have chosen me as a teammate, right? That was the interpretation of and the meaning I gave this experience.

And this one experience made me fold my paper quite a bit smaller. I was sure there was something wrong with me that made the girls dislike me.

Let’s look at the facts. Despite being tall, I was horrible at basketball. If the kids were choosing team members because they wanted to win, how much they liked me didn’t matter to them at all.


Feel proud of who you have become because of those creases.
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Let Go of Old Stories

If I hold onto my interpretation of the story, my paper remains folded along that crease. I continue to believe I’m not liked and, therefore, never chosen for the team. Now that I’m an adult, that team could be the roster of speakers at an event or a group of colleagues going to dinner.

In reality, that event—which happened about 48 years ago—has nothing to do with my life now. If I leave my paper folded along that crease, I bring the past into the present. I keep shrinking and playing small.

But if I examine the crease and see the event without interpretation—just the facts, I can unfold the paper along that crease. I can decide the story has nothing to do with who I am now and allow myself to get a little bit bigger.

By doing so, I let go of that old story. Then I can create a new one, such as that I am always chosen for the team.

To unfold your paper, you must put the past back in the past and leave it there. Do that, and you grow bigger, and you can play bigger.

As long as you bring the past forward with you, you’ll feel the need to remain folded and small. You’ll feel as if there is a reason to hide who you are from others.

Feel Proud of the Creases

Unfold your paper…let the world see the beautiful piece of art created by the creases. Show up as your full self—as the entire piece of paper.

Yes, the paper is now creased, wrinkled, and dirty, but don’t be embarrassed by it. Feel proud of the paper. Feel proud of who you have become because of those creases.

Can you see where you have folded your paper, and how to unfold it now? Tell me in a comment below. Please also share this post on social media or with someone who would benefit from reading it.


Never miss one of my videos! Click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Are you ready to show up and play big? Give me an hour or so of your time, and I’ll help unfold and show up authentically. In the process, you’ll take huge strides toward fulfilling your potential and purpose, realizing your dreams, and becoming the best version of yourself. You know you can be more…do more…achieve more…contribute more. And it’s time to do that. Apply for a FREE breakthrough strategy session. Fill out this application.

Or register for my Certified High Performance Group Coaching program here. This is a great option if you don’t feel ready for one-on-one coaching and want to enjoy the power of group learning. This program features the connection provided by community and requires a lower investment than one-on-one coaching.

Or…if you are interested in both personal and spiritual growth, join the Inspired Creator Community. This is THE place to create a life that feeds your soul. You’ll receive Certified High Performance Coaching as well as spiritual training and coaching. Find out more and join by clicking here.

Photo courtesy of Patiwat Sariya.

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How to Achieve Results More Quickly and Easilyhttps://ninaamir.com/achieve-results-quickly-easily/https://ninaamir.com/achieve-results-quickly-easily/#respondMon, 31 Aug 2020 07:36:19 +0000https://ninaamir.com/?p=8322You want to get results. You might want business, relationship, financial, or health results. More specifically, perhaps you would like to see results from your meditation practice, your use of a planner, or your positive thinking. Or you want to achieve results from the cost-cutting strategies you’ve implemented, the counseling you and your significant other […]

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how to get results faster and more easily

You want to get results. You might want business, relationship, financial, or health results. More specifically, perhaps you would like to see results from your meditation practice, your use of a planner, or your positive thinking. Or you want to achieve results from the cost-cutting strategies you’ve implemented, the counseling you and your significant other have started, or your new diet or exercise plan.

You might not think you want “results” in every situation, but whether you realize it or not, that’s what you want. All of us, all the time, seek results, and these come in many forms—better sleep, less stress, more income, feeling loved, improved communication, weight loss, a tasty meal, or time off.

And, with enough focus, work, and consistency, you are highly likely to get results. However, you can achieve *inspired results.” When you know how to do that, you will produce results more quickly, and the time and effort you exert won’t feel like work.

Achieve Inspired Results

I’ve been talking about and teaching people how to get inspired results for years. My own experience and that of my clients’ has proven repeatedly that a simple formula—the Inspired Results Formula—produces results quickly. While still requiring focus, work, and consistency, it does so in a manner that feels easy and enjoyable.

Here’s the formula:

Now, let me explain how it works.

Start with Purpose

First, you need to know or determine your purpose. This could be your life purpose, soul purpose, or business purpose. If you don’t know your purpose, choose one!

What is a purpose? It’s the reason something is done, created, or exists—the “why.” A purpose is an aim, goal, or intention—a result. It’s what you want to achieve.

I challenge you, however, to have a BIG WHY and a BIG PURPOSE. Consider what you want to accomplish in this lifetime… Who do you want to be? What do you want to do? And what is the reason for being and doing those things?

Answer those questions, and you arrive at your purpose—the motivation that directs your life.


When you combine your purpose with your passion, the magic happens.
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Discover Your Passion

Passion could be defined as a strong and barely controllable emotion or an intense, driving, or overwhelming feeling or conviction. It’s your keen interest, desire, love, or excitement for something—especially something you want to do, be, or accomplish.

What are you passionate about? If you aren’t sure, ask others what you talk about incessantly. Or ask friends and family to point out when you get animated and speak energetically (even loudly) about a topic. Pay attention to what excites you and what activities put you into a flow state naturally. What do you love to do? What can you spend hours doing and not notice the time passing?

These questions help you become conscious of your passions. (You might have more than one.)


All of us, all the time, seek results.
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Get Inspired

When you combine your purpose with your passion, the magic happens. If you can find a passion that aligns with your purpose—that help you be and do things that fulfill your purpose, you become inspired. And that inspiration is the secret sauce to getting results—especially inspired results.

Merriam-Webster defines inspiration as: “Something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create.” That sounds a lot like motivation, but there is a difference. Motivation is defined as: “The act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something.”

Thus, inspiration is something that you feel on the inside—it’s intrinsic—while motivation is something outside—it’s extrinsic—that compels you to take action. Inspiration drives you forward, while motivation pulls you toward.

When you feel inspired, you don’t need an outside force to pull or motivate you to do something or be someone. You feel an internal push that is difficult to ignore.

Inspired to Action

When you feel inspired and take related action, you walk the path of purpose. That’s when things start to click.

In fact, at the moment when inspiration hits, you will intuitively know what action to take. This is what I call inspired action. It’s the next right step, the one your soul tells you to choose.

Inspired action might not always seem logical. It can appear to be “out of the box,” but it is always the action that will help you create results in a manner that allows you to access your passion and fulfill your purpose. That’s why inspired action leads to inspired results—the ones that come more quickly and easily…the extraordinary type of results.


When you feel inspired and take related action, you walk the path of purpose.
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Achieve Inspired Results

If you make it your practice to combine your passion and purpose and take inspired action, you will achieve inspired results. And those results will be extraordinary. They won’t be only about achievement but about consistently feeling passionate, fulfilling your purpose, and expressing your true self.

These types of results have a ripple effect, too; they transform you as well as others. Your passion, purpose, and inspiration impact those with whom you come into contact, and they get inspired to action, too.

Additionally, inspired results spark a cycle—each one ignites new inspiration…new inspired action…new inspired results. If you follow your soul’s guidance and take inspired action, you’ll continue to achieve inspired results.

How do you achieve inspired results? I’d love to know. Leave me a comment below, and please share this post with a friend.


Never miss one of my videos! Click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Would you like to achieve inspired results? You can learn more about how to combine your purpose and passion by becoming a member of the Inspired Creator Community. The first spiritual training offered to members covered this topic with a video and a handout. Find out more and join by clicking here. Become a Founding Member and learn to live a life that feeds your soul.

Are you feeling stuck, unhappy, unfulfilled, or unable to make the changes you want in your life? Give me 90 minutes of your time, and I’ll help you discover the inspired next steps that will help you achieve the personal and spiritual growth you desire. Apply for a FREE Certified High Performance Coaching strategy session. Fill out this application.

Or register for my Certified High Performance Group Coaching program here. It’s a great option if you don’t feel ready for one-on-one coaching and want to enjoy the power of group learning.

Photo courtesy of Ian Stauffer on Unsplash.

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16 Ways to Care for and Feed Your Soulhttps://ninaamir.com/16-ways-care-feed-soul/https://ninaamir.com/16-ways-care-feed-soul/#respondMon, 24 Aug 2020 17:36:02 +0000https://ninaamir.com/?p=8309Most of us don’t spend a lot of time thinking about how we care for our souls. If you are spiritual or even religious, you might know that observing the Sabbath, praying, or meditating does the soul good. But when you aren’t involved in spiritual practices, you may fail to consider how you care for […]

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the care and feeding of your soul

Most of us don’t spend a lot of time thinking about how we care for our souls. If you are spiritual or even religious, you might know that observing the Sabbath, praying, or meditating does the soul good. But when you aren’t involved in spiritual practices, you may fail to consider how you care for or feed your soul.

Your soul can’t survive for long without care and food. And if it begins to die, so do you.

When your soul is starving, you experience the effects. These include a deep feeling of unhappiness, discontent, and restlessness. As time goes on, your body and mind become impacted, too. It becomes hard to focus, and you start to have aches and ailments.   This makes sense since you are a body-mind-spirit being. If one aspect of your system is impacted, all the rest suffer as well.

You might not realize what is happening. Indeed, like many people, you might not have any clue that you are killing yourself a little bit each day by not paying attention to your soul’s needs.

So how do you care for and feed your soul? How do you keep it healthy, vibrant, and happy? Here are 16 strategies you can employ.


Your soul can’t survive for long without care and food.
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1. Get Quiet

Stop talking. Turn off the music, television, podcast, audiobook, or video. Allow yourself to experience quiet. In that quietude, listen. Your soul will speak to you softly.

2. Talk

Have a conversation with your soul. Or, talk to Source, Creator, God—whatever you call Divinity. Pray. Speak as if you are bearing your soul to the one person you trust totally and who can offer you support.

3. Inspire Yourself

Read books, have engaging conversations, listen to music, watch videos of motivational speakers. Do something that inspires you.

4. Journal

Write your thoughts in a journal. Even better, ask your soul to speak to you. Then let your pen fill the pages with everything your soul says.


When your soul is starving, you experience the effects. T
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5. Say No

Say “no” to the things that don’t make you happy, excited, fulfilled, peaceful, or inspired. Whenever you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do or be, you starve your soul a little bit. And you fill your time with responsibilities and activities that don’t care for or feed your soul.

6. Say Yes

Say “yes” to the things that make you happy, excited, fulfilled, peaceful, or inspired. Every time you say “yes” to something you want to do or be, you feed your soul. And you take time to address it’s desires and needs while you achieve your purpose.

Inspired Creator Community - personal and spiritual growth to feed your soul7. Commune with Nature

Spend time outside the concrete jungle, your cubicle, and the walls of your home. Spend time in nature! Hug a tree. Plant a garden. Sit by a lake or river. Swim in the ocean. Admire the flowers. Watch the wind ruffle the leaves. Allow yourself—and your soul—to experience Mother Nature.

8. Surround Yourself with Art

Play music that makes your soul sing. Look at paintings or photographs or even beautifully filmed movies that touch your heart and soul so deeply that tears come to your eyes. Or make art of any kind—compose a poem, play a song on the piano or guitar, write a book, paint a picture… All of these things connect you with your soul and allow it to express.

9. Practice Gratitude

When you practice gratitude daily, you provide your soul with the prescription it needs to thrive. It knows there is plenty… It is part of the abundance of the Universe. When you feel grateful, you acknowledge your soul.

10. Think Positively

Complaining, judging, jealousy, and focusing on scarcity and other negative things are poisonous to your soul. Change your thoughts to ones of appreciation, acceptance, abundance, and hope. Say affirmations. Look for the silver lining. Be a Pollyanna. Positivity aligns you with your soul.


Choose to be joyful. That makes your soul happy, too.
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11. Daydream

Take time to let your mind wander. While visualization is an intentional focus on what you desire, daydreaming is a chance for your soul to show you want it wants for you.

12. Just Be

Do nothing. You are not a human doing. You are a human being. In fact, you are a spiritual being in a physical body. So be.

13. Pay Attention

Become highly conscious of what makes you feel good, what draws your attention, and what you feel pulled to do. These are the things your soul desires. And if you aren’t feeling good, are distracted, or feel obligated to do something, your soul is asking you loudly and clearly to make a different decision.


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14. Be Happy

Despite your conditions, it’s possible to be happy. Happiness is a choice. So, no matter your situation, choose to be joyful. That makes your soul happy, too.

15. Remember Who You Are

Every moment of every day, remember that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. If you do that, you’ll be aware of your soul talking to you at all times. You’ll know how to care for it best and what to feed it consistently so it thrives—and so do you.

16. Conduct Rituals

Create or conduct rituals of any type and from any spiritual tradition that speaks to you. Light candles. Burn incense. Begin a morning routine. Smudge. Set intentions. Your soul will join you and grow stronger with every ritual you perform.

Be Patient as Care and Feed Your Soul

I’ve spent a lot of years taking lousy care of my soul. I did not feed it well. It’s no wonder I felt empty inside… My soul was starving, and, as a result, I was starving for a soulful connection.

I can’t fix that situation overnight. It takes time.

Now, every day, I ask my soul what it needs. And my decisions are based on the answers I receive.

It’s not always easy. Sometimes the choices seem counterintuitive, or I’m sure I’ll be judged. But I choose to care for and feed my soul no matter what.

If I continue on this path consistently, I’m sure my life will be different. It will be soul-full. I have to be patient as I nurture my soul, but I know my efforts will pay off.

You can have a soul-full life, too, if you take care of and feed your soul. Try it for 30 days. Make a note of the difference in how you feel and live your life.

Do you have other ways to care for and feed your soul? I’d love to hear them. Leave me a comment below, and please share this post with a friend.


Never miss one of my videos! Click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Have you been caring for and feeding your soul? Give me an hour or so of your time, and I’ll help you find and be yourself. In the process, you’ll take huge strides toward fulfilling your potential and purpose, realizing your dreams, and becoming the best version of yourself. You know you can be more…do more…achieve more…contribute more. And it’s time to do that. Apply for a FREE breakthrough strategy session. Fill out this application.

Or register for my Certified High Performance Group Coaching program here. This is a great option if you don’t feel ready for one-on-one coaching and want to enjoy the power of group learning. This program features the connection provided by community and requires a lower investment than one-on-one coaching.

Or…if you are interested in both personal and spiritual growth, join the Inspired Creator Community. This is THE place to create a life that feeds your soul. You’ll receive Certified High Performance Coaching as well as spiritual training and coaching. Find out more and join by clicking here.

Photo courtesy of Patiwat Sariya.

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The One Book that Changed My Lifehttps://ninaamir.com/one-book-changed-life/https://ninaamir.com/one-book-changed-life/#commentsMon, 17 Aug 2020 07:35:03 +0000https://ninaamir.com/?p=8289Every once in awhile, someone asks me to name a book that changed my life. My response always surprises them. What’s the book? Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach. I’ve meant to write a post about why this book changed my life, but I wanted to reread it first. And I kept […]

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Illusions--book that changed my life

Every once in awhile, someone asks me to name a book that changed my life. My response always surprises them.

What’s the book?

Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach.

I’ve meant to write a post about why this book changed my life, but I wanted to reread it first. And I kept putting that task off.

However, during the first session of the Inspired Creator Community, our conversation turned to books that set us on the metaphysical or spiritual path. Two of us immediately mentioned books by Richard Bach: Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Illusions.

This discussion sent me to my bookshelf to find my copy of both books and begin rereading them. In three days, I’d finished both. And I remembered exactly how I felt when I first read Illusions and why this book changed my life.

What the Book is About

Book that change my lifeI first purchased Illusions simply because it was written by Richard Bach. I had fond memories of reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull and the impact its lessons had on me when I read it around the age of 16. I saw the book on a table in a bookstore and purchased it.

While Jonathan Livingston Seagull presents some amazingly essential and powerful metaphysical concepts, it does so in a very subtle manner. This book tells the story of a gull obsessed with learning to fly high, fast, and precisely. For that, he is outcast but continues practicing flight. He goes on to meet a guide who teaches him lessons beyond flying—lessons about reality and potential.

Illusions, on the other hand, is much more direct in its teachings. This book tells the story of two barnstorming pilots who meet in a field in the Midwestern United States. One of them, Donald, is a messiah who has quit his job as a spiritual teacher to the masses. He teaches Richard that the world is an illusion and how to operate beyond that illusions while still human.


“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true.”
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Why This Book Impacted Me

So why did this book about two guys flying around in small airplanes change my life?

While reading it, for the first time in my life, I felt a deep resonance within…a knowing that this book really was not just a story but a lesson in the truth of how the physical and spiritual worlds work. More than that, I wanted to understand and put this knowledge to use.

Inspired Creator Community - personal and spiritual growth to feed your soulBefore that, I had some broad beliefs about how the world worked, but my spirituality was steeped in Judaism. This was long before my foray into the New Age Movement or Kabbalah or other mystical and esoteric spiritual beliefs.

This book caused me to ask and seek answers to the big questions in life—How does the Universe work? What is God? Why does life feel hard? It opened the door to an entirely new realm of possibilities—ones I could control my experience by learning to control my thoughts. I felt certain—and still do—that this is the key to achieving human potential and accessing our spiritual nature.

After reading Illusions, I read other books by Bach. I began to frequent spiritual and metaphysical bookstores searching for more information that would move me along the path of self and spiritual realization. This was long before The Secret was published or the Law of Attraction became popularized, but there were books…plenty of them…and teachers.

I have spent much of my adult life studying the concepts put forth in Illusions and trying—to use them…sometimes with (often without) success. No matter my results, my belief in their validity has not wavered. Nor have other teachers or authors taught me anything that varies widely from the concepts I first learned in this book.

I know the only reason I can’t perform the so-called miracles described in Illusions is user error—or, as Bach would probably say, pilot error. So I continue to believe and to practice—just like Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Bach.


“To bring anything into your life, imagine it’s already there.”
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Key Lessons from Illusions 

It would take too long to explore deeply the lessons presented in Illusions in this blog post. (I am exploring them in the Inspired Creator Community, though. Click on the link to join the discussion!) But I’d like to at least share the ones that spoke to me most on this read-through. So, here are a few:

“The whole motion of our time is from the material toward the spiritual…slow as it is, it’s still a pretty huge motion.”

“I wanted to say, for the love of God, if you want freedom and joy so much, can’t you see it’s not anywhere outside of you? Say you have it, and you have it! Act as if it’s yours, and it is!”

“Like attracts like. Just be who you are, calm and clear and bright. Automatically, as we shine who we are, asking ourselves every minute is this what I really want to do, doing it only when we answer yes, automatically that turns away those who have nothing to learn from who we are and attracts those who do, and from who we have to learn, as well.”

“To bring anything into your life, imagine it’s already there.”

“…you see it perfect, already done.”

“Only a few people are interested in what you have to say, but that’s all right. You don’t tell the quality of a master by the size of his crowds, remember.”

Key Lessons From the Messiah’s Handbook

In Illusions, Donald gives Richard his copy of the Messiah’s Handbook. I’ve always loved the lessons he found there. Here are a few of my favorites:

“Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you.”

“Your obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.”

“You teach best what you most need to learn.”

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.”

“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.”

“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.”

Lessons for a Lifetime

Here’s one final lesson from Illusions that strongly spoke to me during my most recent reading of the book:

“In the path to our happiness shall we find the learning for which we have chosen this lifetime.”

I realized not long ago that I was not on a path that made me happy. That’s why I decided to make changes in my life and work. You can read more about that here.

The path of my happiness is, indeed, where I learn what I believe I am meant to learn—and share—in this lifetime…the same lessons Richard learned in Illusions. I know that now.

Discussing the metaphysical subjects presented in Illusions makes me enormously happy and raises my levels of passion, excitement, and inspiration. That’s why I’m so committed to the Inspired Creator Community. This program allows me to discuss these topics consistently with others—to learn and practice together.

I’m so glad I went back and reread Illusions. My copy will sit on my desk from now on. I’ve also discovered and ordered a copy of The Messiah’s Handbook, so like Richard, I can open it whenever I have a question and get an answer. Plus, it will remind me of the lessons I need to learn and keep me on the path.

Have you ever read a book that changed your life? What book was it and why? Tell me in a comment below. And please share this post with a friend.


Never miss one of my videos! Click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Would you like to live a life that feeds your soul? If you are interested in both personal and spiritual growth, join the Inspired Creator Community. Find out more and join by clicking here. Become a Founding Member!

Are you feeling stuck, unhappy, unfulfilled, or unable to make the changes you want in your life? Give me 90 minutes of your time, and I’ll help you discover the inspired next steps that will help you achieve the personal and spiritual growth you desire. Apply for a FREE Certified High Performance Coaching strategy session. Fill out this application.

Or register for my Certified High Performance Group Coaching program here. It’s a great option if you don’t feel ready for one-on-one coaching and want to enjoy the power of group learning.

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Why You Attract What You Don’t Wanthttps://ninaamir.com/attract-what-dont-want/https://ninaamir.com/attract-what-dont-want/#respondMon, 10 Aug 2020 07:36:11 +0000https://ninaamir.com/?p=8281To create what you want, you have to have clarity. Yet, the clearer you become about what you want, the more the opposite seems to show up. It’s essential to understand why that happens, so you don’t get frustrated. Knowing what you want provides the foundation for creating your desires. Without clarity about your desire, […]

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To create what you want, you have to have clarity. Yet, the clearer you become about what you want, the more the opposite seems to show up. It’s essential to understand why that happens, so you don’t get frustrated.

Knowing what you want provides the foundation for creating your desires. Without clarity about your desire, the Universe won’t know what to give you. When you know what you want, though, “All the universe conspires to help you achieve it,” as Paulo Coelho wrote in The Alchemist.

However, the more clarity you have about your desires, the more contrast you experience between what you have and want. The contrast helps you become even clearer about what you want. You look at what is showing up and decided, “Nope. Don’t want that,” or “Yep. Want that!”

Your increased clarity makes you a more powerful creator. You can give the Universe (or God, Creator, Source) clear messages more consistently. Until you reach that point, you will send confusing and inconsistent messages that get mixed results.

The LOA Works

When you think you are clearly asking for what you want, it’s frustrating to get something unwanted instead. That’s when many people decide the Law of Attraction doesn’t work. Also called conscious or deliberate creation, the Law of Attraction (LOA) does work.

Honestly, I have not always gotten the results I wanted when I practice the LOA. However, I’ve also seen it work…and work well.

You have to approach conscious creation with consistency and clarity. As said in Alcoholics Anonymous, “It works if you work it.” The Law of Attraction is not magical. But, if you apply yourself diligently, you will get results.

I have created a new computer, $1,000 to pay a bill, and a book publishing deal. Each one of these manifestations showed up quickly.

I’ve also had times when I used the deliberate creation steps, and nothing showed happened—or I only got what I didn’t want. The clearer I became, the more often I had to choose out of the unwanted things showing up. Then, I’d create my desire.


Knowing what you want provides the foundation for creating your desires.
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LOA Basics

If you aren’t familiar with the LOA, let me share the steps to the manifestation process. Note that many people describe them differently, and my description might have a unique twist as well.

To practice the Law of Attraction:

  1. Know what you want with total clarity.
  2. Understand why you need what you want and how having it will help you be of service to others.
  3. Visualize the process of gaining and then having what you want while feeling the gratitude and other positive emotions generated by possessing it.
  4. Believe that what you want is going to manifest; get to the point where you are sure that what you want will come into your life at the perfect time and in the perfect way for the highest good of all concerned.
  5. Take action to help bring what you want into your reality, including acting “as if” you already have what you desire.

So, if you are taking these steps, why are you still getting what you don’t want? Here are a few reasons.

1. You are sending mixed messages.

One of the most common reasons you don’t get what you want is that you actually aren’t clear about your desire. You think and say things that put mixed messages into the Universe.

The Universe wants to give you your desires. But too often it thinks you want something different. And then you get what you don’t want.

We send out lots of “rockets of desire,” as Abraham Hicks likes to say, but most of them have little to do with what we want. For example, you might say, “I’m sick and tired of that,” but you don’t really want to be sick and tired. You talking about wanting more wealth but see someone wealthy and exclaim, “I never want to be like that jerk!”

What you want and what you think or believe are often in opposition. Thee things contradict each other. For example, you might want more money but believe money is the source of all evil. Or you want a committed relationship but not want to give up your independence.

The Universe takes your thoughts and words literally. So if you aren’t getting what you want, examine what you think and say. Ensure that your thoughts and words align with your desire.


You have to approach conscious creation with consistency and clarity.
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2. You are focused on what you don’t want.

If you are focused on what you don’t want more often than you are focused on what you do want, you will create more of the former. And most people spend much more time with their thoughts on what they don’t want. Therefore, it’s no wonder that they create unwanted things even when they think they are clear about their desires.

Inspired Creator Community - personal and spiritual growth to feed your soulEven though awareness of what you don’t want gives you clarity, you don’t want to spend a lot of time looking at, thinking about, or visualizing what you don’t want. Turn your attention to your desire.

When I lie down in bed at night, I often find myself visualizing scenarios I want to avoid. When I become aware that I’m doing so, I deliberately imagine what I want. You need to do this all day long…

Also, keep in mind that when you put energy into pushing away what you don’t want, you actually focus on the unwanted thing. Don’t try to get rid of what’s unwanted; instead, try to attract what is wanted.

3. You are creating based on your past focus.

You’ve been thinking and saying the same things for years. You’ve focused on what you didn’t want. And you sent all those emotionally charged messages out to the Universe over and over again.

Now, you are focusing on what you want, but the Universe is still sorting through our past requests. Thus, it’s no wonder that negative creations are raining down on you now like cosmic hailstones. Your current creations are the results of your past focus.

Eventually, these hailstones will taper off, and the storm of unwanted stuff will stop. But you have to be patient and wait it out.

You can make the hailstorm stop more quickly by continuing to gain clarity and focus on what you want. Also, use this time to heal your old hurts, negative thoughts, and ways of being in the world that don’t align with what you want.

As you do, shovel the unwanted hailstones into a pile, but don’t watch them melt. Instead, continue doing the work, and, before too long, you have a new hailstorm raining down what you want.


Anything unwanted that shows up in your life presents an opportunity.
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4. You still need to heal.

As you get clearer about what you want and remove the conscious and subconscious thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that send mixed messages, more of what you want will show up. In the meantime, though, the process will continue to show you things unlike what you want.

To understand why, consider the words of Marianne Williamson: “Love brings up everything unlike itself” for the purpose of healing. Recognize that anything unwanted that shows up in your life presents an opportunity to heal old emotional hurts, unsupportive beliefs, and limited ways of thinking and being.

For instance, if you want more money, but receive a bill for $1000, this is a chance to heal your money issues. Find ways to acknowledge and feel grateful for the prosperity you enjoy, for instance. Or journal about how and why your scarcity beliefs show up and how to switch them to abundant ones. If you want an intimate partner but most of the people you date seem like jerks, spend time making a list of the qualities you want in a partner. Journal about why you believe you don’t—and do—deserve someone amazing.


You have to trust that the LOA works.
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5. You doubt that LOA works.

Keep this in mind: If you doubt that you can attract what you want, you are, again, sending mixed messages to the Universe. You are saying, “I want to experience myself as a conscious creator and see the LOA working in my life. But, if I’m honest, I don’t think I can create anything or that the Universe will bring me what I want. LOA is probably just a lot of bunk.”

Your doubt overrides your desire. You have to trust that the LOA works. And you must consistently think and act as if the Universe has already delivered what you want. Show up now—not later—as the person who has what you desire.

Seize the Opportunity

I know it can feel challenging, but bless the unwanted things that show up in your life—even the ones opposite of what you want. Be grateful for them, too. Each provides you with an opportunity to become clearer about what you want, examine and release the thoughts and beliefs that block you from receiving, and heal the parts of yourself that prevent you from being a powerful creator.

Do that, and you will begin to get more of what you want and less of what you don’t.

Have you moved past the create-what-you-don’t want phase? How’d you do it? Tell me in a comment below. And please share this post with a friend whose life currently isn’t soul-nourishing.


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Are you clear about what you want? Do you want to stop attracting unwanted things into your life? Give me an hour or so of your time, and I’ll help you find and be yourself. In the process, you’ll take huge strides toward fulfilling your potential and purpose, realizing your dreams, and becoming the best version of yourself. You know you can be more…do more…achieve more…contribute more. And it’s time to do that. Apply for a FREE breakthrough strategy session. Fill out this application.

Or register for my Certified High Performance Group Coaching program here. This is a great option if you don’t feel ready for one-on-one coaching and want to enjoy the power of group learning. This program features the connection provided by community and requires a lower investment than one-on-one coaching.

Or…if you are interested in both personal and spiritual growth, join the Inspired Creator Community. You’ll receive Certified High Performance Coaching as well as spiritual training and coaching. Find out more and join by clicking here.

Photo courtesy of Mykola Kravchenko.

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Why You Need to Become a Quitterhttps://ninaamir.com/why-need-become-quitter/https://ninaamir.com/why-need-become-quitter/#respondMon, 03 Aug 2020 07:36:12 +0000https://ninaamir.com/?p=8268I’m not a quitter. Tenacity can be a good quality to have. Sometimes, though, a tendency toward being overly perseverant isn’t in your best interest. I pride myself on my tenacity, and it has served me well. Without my never-give-up attitude, I’d likely not have become an author. I probably wouldn’t have gotten married, maintained […]

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I’m not a quitter. Tenacity can be a good quality to have. Sometimes, though, a tendency toward being overly perseverant isn’t in your best interest.

I pride myself on my tenacity, and it has served me well. Without my never-give-up attitude, I’d likely not have become an author. I probably wouldn’t have gotten married, maintained relationships, built a business, kept up with my blogs, or achieved even half my goals.

On the other hand, if I had a bit less tenacity, maybe I would have given up on some things that didn’t serve me. Doing so would have allowed me to focus on goals, dreams, tasks, and commitments that made me happier. It could have turned my attention to my life’s work or pursued my passions. Had I been a quitter, I would have shut one door so another would open. Then, I might have discovered opportunities better aligned with who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.

Letting Things Go

One day, while participating in a group coaching session, I said, “I’m not a quitter…and that makes it hard for me to let things go.”

The coach and several other members of the group looked at me wide-eyed. “Did you just hear what you said,” asked the coach.

“Yes…”

“Say it again.”

“I’m not a quitter, so it’s hard for me to let things go.”

We had talked about my constant struggle to eliminate tasks and commitments related to my business, like offering specific courses and events or maintaining particular blogs. I wanted to defend my stick-to-it-ness, but I realized that what I’d said was important.

I needed to learn how to quit the things that weren’t working in my professional—and personal—life. I had to become a quitter.

Have I managed to do that? Not entirely, but I’m working on it every day. It still feels like a struggle to let go of things, but I continually evaluate what I can and need to quit to be happier, more fulfilled, and fulfill my purpose.


Think of quitting as making a choice. It’s a decision to do something different.
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What Do You Need to Quit?

Take a few moments to consider the things you have been hanging on to that aren’t serving you. These activities or commitments are not “on purpose,” do not make you happy, or leave you feeling fulfilled. When it comes to your goals and dreams, they do not move the needle in the direction of achievement.

Think about your relationships. Consider your job or career. Evaluate how you spend your free time. Deep in your heart and soul, what do you know you need—want—to quit?

A Four-Year Refusal to Quit

Inspired Creator Community - personal and spiritual growth to feed your soulI was offered a book project—my very first—by a publisher. I didn’t pitch them. They sought me out and asked me to take it on, and I did, even though it wasn’t a topic I was particularly interested in. It took me a year to complete the manuscript, which involved obtaining submissions from 90 celebrities. (In this case, tenacity was super helpful!)

Then the publisher decided to go in a different direction and dropped the project in my lap. So, I spent another year trying to find an agent. I finally did, but the project didn’t sell.

Then, I spent two more years trying to sell this project on my own. And when I landed another agent for a different project, I asked, “Would you be willing to find this book a home?” (The answer was no, and I was advised to drop it.)

I’d spent four years on the project! I wanted it to see the light of day. I wanted my efforts to pay off.

But I finally quit. (I never threw away all the files, though…)

Here’s the truth: That project wasn’t going to get me where I wanted to go. Had I been willing to see that, and not stubbornly hang onto it anyway, I might have spent those four years working on a more meaningful and fulfilling book project. I might have written a book that was on purpose for me.

Why You Won’t Become a Quitter

I refused to quit that book project for all the wrong reasons. First and foremost, I did not want to fail. I had put so much time and effort into it. If the book never saw the light of day, I would feel like I’d wasted my time.

In addition to feeling like a failure, everyone who knew I’d been working on the project would realize I’d failed to get it published. My ego didn’t want them to think of me as a failure.

I also kept tenaciously trying to get it sold because I didn’t want to feel embarrassed. I didn’t want to have to tell everyone—including the 90 celebrities—that the book deal fell through, and I couldn’t get their stories sold.

Plus, I didn’t want them to think I was a liar. I told those celebrities the book had a publisher and would be published. They trusted me and put time and effort into their submissions because of that.

I know…these were all extrinsic reasons not to quit. I know better now. But my experience is an excellent example of why so many people—maybe even you—refuse to become quitters.

What’s stopping you from quitting? Necessity? A dislike of failure? Fear of being judged? Your ego?


Being a quitter is a good thing—when you quit the right stuff.
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3 Questions to Help You Know When to Quit

If you are overly perseverant and you know you need to change, how do you become a quitter? Or, how do you know when to quit? Answering the following three questions, which I ask myself often, will help.

1. Is it on purpose for me?

I’m a big proponent of doing things that are on-purpose, by which I mean that they align with my purpose. If you are doing something and it feels like a struggle, sucks your energy, and isn’t paying off, ask yourself if it helping you fulfill your purpose.

If not, then maybe its time to quit.

2. Is it serving me?

Beyond helping you fulfill your purpose, ask yourself if what you are doing serves you somehow. Is it making you happier, paying your bills, or making you healthier? Is it feeding your soul?

If it’s serving you, it may be worth doing…but not always. For example, paying the bills is a necessity, but spending your days slaving away at a job that leaves you drained and unhappy is not.

3. Does it inspire you, bring you joy, or activate your drive for creativity, challenge, or connection?

Humans thrive on inspiration, joy, creativity, challenge, and connection. If what you are doing activates one or more of these drives, quitting might not be the right choice.

However, if doing something doesn’t make you feel more alive, aligned, inspired, and motivated, maybe it’s time to quit.


The ability to quit is the mark of someone strong, committed to their purpose, and driven.
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Being a Quitter Isn’t Bad

Those who find quitting challenging tend to give a negative connotation to the word “quit.” That’s not surprising, since most of us were told by a parent, coach, or teacher, “Don’t be a quitter.”

Being a quitter was something to be avoided at all costs. It was the mark of someone weak, uncommitted, and lazy. It meant you were a failure.

In some cases, that might be true; in others, the ability to quit is the mark of someone strong, committed to their purpose, and driven. It’s often a characteristic of the most successful people in the world. They know when to quit, and that’s what helps them succeed.

It’s time to reframe the idea of being a quitter. Think of quitting as making a choice. It’s a decision to do something different, which helps you step into the best version of yourself, live your life fully, and do your life’s work. Being a quitter is a good thing—when you quit the right stuff.

What do you need to quit? Tell me in a comment below and, please, share this post with someone you know who will find it helpful.

Never miss one of my videos! Click here to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Is it hard for you to let things go? Do you know you need to quit, but you aren’t sure what to quit or how? Give me 90 minutes of your time, and I’ll help you discover the inspired next steps that will help you achieve the personal and spiritual growth you desire. In the process, you’ll take huge strides toward fulfilling your potential and purpose and realizing your dreams. Apply for a FREE Certified High Performance Coaching strategy session. Fill out this application.

Or register for my Certified High Performance Group Coaching program here. It’s a great option if you don’t feel ready for one-on-one coaching and want to enjoy the power of group learning.

Or…if you are interested in both personal and spiritual growth, join the Inspired Creator Community. Find out more and join by clicking here. Become a Founding Member!

Photo courtesy of Gabriel Benois.

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9 Ways to Create a Life that Feeds Your Soulhttps://ninaamir.com/create-life-feeds-soul/https://ninaamir.com/create-life-feeds-soul/#respondMon, 27 Jul 2020 07:36:07 +0000https://ninaamir.com/?p=8247Do you wish you’d pursued your dreams? Are you sorry you created a life based on living up to other people’s expectations? Do you feel remorse that your choices were guided by an internal drive to prove something to someone? Do you think about how different your life would be if you’d stood up for […]

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Nina Amir is known as the Inspiration to Creation Coach. As one of 800 elite Certified High Performance Coaches working around the world, she helps her clients Achieve More Inspired Results. She works with people who want to realize their dreams, achieve their potential, fulfill their purpose, and live full lives that feed their souls. Nina is also a bestselling author, certified Law of Attraction Coach, certified rebirther, and ordained minister.

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Name: Nina Amir
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