Many leaders live in a constant state of worry without even realizing it. They worry about how they’re coming across, whether they’re making the right decisions or what others think about them.
Gayle Lantz calls this self-preoccupation, and she makes an important distinction: it’s not the same as being selfish, and it’s definitely not the same as self-awareness. It’s the mental energy we spend watching ourselves instead of focusing on the people, the purpose, and the work we’re meant to serve.
It’s time to move the spotlight.
As Gayle explains, the biggest shifts in her own growth as a leader haven’t come from thinking more about herself; they’ve come from thinking less about herself. She shares how reframing a handful of common leadership moments (public speaking, performance reviews, sales conversations) can move your attention from performing to contributing, from proving to serving.
She also connects this idea to the growing research on awe and why the opposite of self-preoccupation might not be selflessness at all, but wonder.
This week, Gayle invites you to run your own attention audit and notice where your internal spotlight is shining.
This episode covers:
- The difference between self-consciousness and self-awareness
- How self-preoccupation shows up, especially under stress or pressure
- Why today’s culture makes this shift harder than ever
- A simple “attention audit” exercise to try this week
- What the research on awe reveals about lasting fulfillment
- Moving your spotlight from yourself to purpose, people, and possibility