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Most Men who Cheat Still LOVE their Wives!
Susan Allan -- The Marriage Forum Susan Allan -- The Marriage Forum
Santa Barbara, CA
Saturday, December 31, 2022

Here’s How to STOP HIS CHEATING AND Increase the LOVE
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Most Men who Cheat Still LOVE their Wives!

Here's How to STOP HIS CHEATING AND Increase the LOVE

If your husband hasn't left you it's because he doesn't want to leave. Even if your husband is with the "other woman" right now, he is hoping that you'll fix the marriage because everyone dreads divorce. Few men have romantic communication skills so the burden to fix your marriage is yours and if you truly want all of him, here's how to recreate love, passion, and peace.

These are the 4 Basic Cheating Types and the Solution for each:

A husband may cheat if

1. He was never committed to the marriage; he always had an exit strategy and doesn't care if you find out

Ask yourself; when you married, why did he propose to you? What worked for him and for you? Do you realize that you've done less of that over time? Now you can regroup and begin again. 

2. He cares about you but doesn't have the words or skills to discuss what he needs from you so eventually, he finds companionship and hot sex elsewhere

Communication skills always fix this kind of disconnection. The 6 Part Conversation allows my clients to connect to one another's needs in the deepest and most profound way, no matter how much anger and hopelessness may exist.

3. He is "married for life" and no matter what needs aren't met for him or for you, if you don't rock his boat he'll stay AND cheat on you.

This is the easiest version of cheating to fix because you have time to learn how to regain his love for only you. 

4. He is an emotional cheater; he has a need for deep intimacy which you aren't providing so he finds a woman who makes him feel loved.

As a wife who wants to shift her husband's behaviors, you need to shift your own reactions first. Husbands have the space to reconsider their actions if the wives are peaceful and respectful. If you're tempted to make him suffer please reconsider. He hasn't left you yet so don't push him out the door with anger, unless you truly want a Divorce 911!   

Even if you have the normal reaction of hating him now, expressing your Panic, Agony, and Rage, will make the situation much, much worse. While these emotional responses are understandable, they will risk your one chance to save your marriage.  Am I asking you to become a slave? No! You have a small window to turn this around; to look at the underlying cause of infidelity and repair the problems that have turned your home into a house of cards!

Learn The 7 STAGES of MARRIAGE to become a Peacemaker and Avoid Divorce  

  1. You may be stuck in DENIAL but ignoring his unhappiness is how cheating starts.
  2. You may feel betrayed and need honesty and think you can RAGE at him; please DON'T!  
  3. You may feel grief and AGONY because your need for trust hasn't been met and you want to complain- STOP!  

Some wives think their husbands should just STOP CHEATING as if that solves the problem, but cheating is like the steam that escapes from a tea kettle. In fact, you should feel grateful if there's someone willing to be with your husband without pressing him to divorce you. 

Here is what has worked for the 1,000s of clients I've helped transform their marriages, end cheating, and enjoy peaceful, passionate lifelong marriages.                                                                                                                                                          Figure out his key needs that aren't met in your marriage. Here is what I often hear from cheating husbands:

  1. "She is always nagging me!" This husband needs PEACE
  2. "I just want some fun on the weekend; is that too much to ask?" That man needs some HOT SEX
  3. "Before the kids came, she wanted me all the time and now I have to beg!" LOVING ATTENTION including SEX solves this!

Many wives push their husbands away without realizing it!

When wives tell me when cheating started my next question is to ask what happened 6 months to a year before he strayed. Wives may feel completely blindsided by infidelity but when I walk them down memory lane, they always find one shocking piece of data:

About 1 year before he started disappearing his wife had a conversation with herself, her sister, her mother, or a friend and expressed her disgust or indifference to her husband, and HE felt it!

The Big Shift to End Infidelity

Right now he's on the fence, so you can't demand anything. Later, after you've reminded him of how wonderful you are and how much he stands to lose, THEN he will be open to meeting more of your needs. A man who is cheating already has 1 foot out your door and the other foot inside someone else's "door" so you can't complain and win!

If you want more commitment, that will come from learning to meet more of his emotional needs and enjoying it. I have seen women force themselves into pretzels to become sexier but sex is a vibe and you have to feel it.  I have seen wives who hated cooking who forced themselves to make elaborate meals but without joy and generosity, the food was tasteless. These skills work:

  1. Self-soothe so that you self-generate inner peace. If you want your husband to be all yours, you have to convince him that you are his, mind, body, and soul.
  2. Sexual tools based on Tantra that allow both of you to enjoy consistently thrilling sex
  3. Verbal skills to peacefully co-create your monogamous lifetime partnership!  

You can and must learn to step up your game; becoming unforgettable and irresistible to keep him FOREVER. The answer to lifelong love and monogamy is The Tantric Lock, a set of skills I teach my clients that combine the emotional, sexual, and verbal aspects of manifesting the deepest connection and ecstatic intimacy that lasts a lifetime.

When you and your partner are merged, two into one; there is no room for a 3rd person and that is the greatest gift to both of you.



Susan Allan’s Heartspace® The Marriage Forum Inc. 805-695-8405   818-314-1200

Introduction to Susan Allan and Life Mastery Training  LearnDesk


Nonviolent Communication® expert           Certified Mediator The Divorce Forum®  

Dating, Marriage, Reconciliation, Peaceful no-court Divorce, Avoiding Domestic Violence


https://www.youtube.com/user/susanallan2001  275 videos



News Media Interview Contact
Name: Susan Allan
Group: The Marriage Forum Inc.
Dateline: Santa Barbara, CA United States
Direct Phone: 805-695-8405
Main Phone: 805-695-8405
Cell Phone: 818-314-1200
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