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Mind Over Matters
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Madelaine Claire Weiss, LICSW, MBA, BCC -- MIndOverMatters Madelaine Claire Weiss, LICSW, MBA, BCC -- MIndOverMatters
For Immediate Release:
Dateline: Washington, DC
Thursday, January 14, 2021

 
Mind Over Mattershttps://madelaineweiss.comMadelaine WeissMon, 11 Jan 2021 13:21:15 +0000en-UShourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.654624898 This Thing We Call “Mind” — Whatever That Ishttps://madelaineweiss.com/this-thing-we-call-mind-whatever-that-is/https://madelaineweiss.com/this-thing-we-call-mind-whatever-that-is/#commentsMon, 11 Jan 2021 13:21:11 +0000https://madelaineweiss.com/?p=3363Excerpt from forthcoming book: Getting to G.R.E.A.T. 5-Step Strategy for Work and Life…Based on Science and Stories “How could our brain possibly keep conscious all of the information thrown at it by the eyes, nose, ears, tongue, and skin. These sense organs send about 11 million bits of information per second to the brain for processing, but […]]]>

Excerpt from forthcoming book: Getting to G.R.E.A.T. 5-Step Strategy for Work and Life…Based on Science and Stories

“How could our brain possibly keep conscious all of the information thrown at it by the eyes, nose, ears, tongue, and skin. These sense organs send about 11 million bits of information per second to the brain for processing, but the conscious mind handles only about 50 bits per second of it. This stunning gap between what is—and our severely limited conscious awareness of what is—should make us question how we think we know anything at all. Let alone, anything at all about who or what we are in this vast universe of ours. So then, who is this thing called mind who thinks it knows so much when really it knows so little? Don’t worry if you can’t answer that question. Most people can’t.”

But do worry a lot if your mind, whatever it is, is in charge of you instead of the other way around. From the Bhagavad Gita, written somewhere between 400 BCE and 200 CE:

The mind acts like an enemy for those who do not control it.

So we have known for a very long time that an undisciplined mind is like a 2 year old who is winning and wreaking havoc all over the house. That’s how one of my philosophy tutors put it. Only in our case, the mind is wreaking havoc all over our lives.

Others have said the mind is like a bunch of drunken monkeys, and still others have found that the mind wanders around all over the place 70% of the time, doing whatever it wants to whether you know it or like it or not.

And yet, the human mind is such an incredible tool. As in, where would we be without it. Nowhere of course. Still, we can tend it and use it a lot better than we do. 

Let’s do that. We take care of our teeth, and our plants, and our pets, and our kids, and our cars…let’s start taking care of our minds.

In the words of Charles Darwin from The Descent of Man:

The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts. 

Now more than ever, it is time for us all to take charge of our own minds. Why not? Hope you will read and enjoy Chapter 4, “Managing Your Mind” in Getting to G.R.E.A.T. and let us know what you think! The pre-order availability will be up on my site very soon!!

Warm wishes,

Madelaine

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Resolutions Passé? Try this. Stop, Start, Continue…https://madelaineweiss.com/resolutions-passe-try-this-stop-start-continue/https://madelaineweiss.com/resolutions-passe-try-this-stop-start-continue/#commentsMon, 04 Jan 2021 13:29:00 +0000https://madelaineweiss.com/?p=3333]]>

How about this instead of resolutions this year? Let’s pretend we are cleaning out our drawers. Some stuff is part of everyday life, and we can’t imagine life without it. Other stuff just sits there and is of no good use at all. Maybe it’s even annoying. I have a book that bugs me, and it’s going down the library donation shoot next time I walk Rafael Leonardo, my little dog. 

We can’t exactly put people we may have outgrown down the shoot, but we can reframe how we do or don’t engage them in our day to day lives. And then there are people, places, and things that are not particularly active and present in our lives, but we will still keep them with us, in one way or another, because we want to and we can.

Alternative to New Year’s Resolutions

So this is my idea of an alternative to New Year’s Resolutions, simply because most resolutions fail anyway and I happen to know firsthand how useful, even fun, this other approach can be. I should add that, sometimes it is sad too, even profoundly sad, to let go of the old to make way for the new.

Over the last few years, a lot has changed in my life. Not all of it Covid related, although I do think the virus actually concentrated and accelerated the Stop, Start, Continue…People, Places, Things already in play in my life. 

Stop, Start, Continue…People, Places, and Things

Stop, Start, Continue… is an ordinary team building exercise that can have extraordinary results, not only for teams, but for families and personal/professional growth too. 

And it doesn’t have to be a once a year or once a quarter kind of thing. How about renewing and refreshing in an ongoing way. The brain gets all jazzed up by novelty, so every day can be a lighter footed adventure living it this way. What will I stop, start, continue on this day?

We often ask ourselves what we are going to do today, but maybe not as often do we ask what we are going to let go of or tuck away. Hope you will try this way of thinking about yourself, your life, and the people, places, and things in it, and let us know what you find.

Happy New Year and Warmest Wishes for 2021,

Madelaine

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SATISFACTION AND SUCCESS FOR 2021 AND BEYOND…https://madelaineweiss.com/satisfaction-and-success-for-2021-and-beyond/https://madelaineweiss.com/satisfaction-and-success-for-2021-and-beyond/#commentsMon, 28 Dec 2020 02:25:33 +0000https://madelaineweiss.com/?p=3277The 80/20 Rule? Big name motivational speakers and business development gurus tell us that our own satisfaction and success is 80% mindset. Yeah, everybody loves that Pareto Principle, the 80/20 rule—the idea that 80% of the consequences (output) come from 20% of the causes (input). In fact, people love to say 80/20 even when it […]]]>

The 80/20 Rule?

Big name motivational speakers and business development gurus tell us that our own satisfaction and success is 80% mindset. Yeah, everybody loves that Pareto Principle, the 80/20 rule—the idea that 80% of the consequences (output) come from 20% of the causes (input).

In fact, people love to say 80/20 even when it doesn’t really even apply, which in this case it doesn’t.

Or 100% Mindset?

After one of the best-of-the-best said mindset was 80/20, he added himself, “Well if I am going to be honest, mindset is really 100%.” And I have to say I pretty much agree.

And so did Marcus Aurelius, Abraham Lincoln, William Shakespeare, and Mahatma Gandhi. I know this because I once made a long list of quotes from famous people all saying this same thing.

I also reviewed my blog posts for the year, and my hands down favorite—for these times—is the Buckminster Fuller quote here:

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.

To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

There is no better mindset that I can think of than to spend our time and energy on building a strong and beautiful future, instead of being mired in the past.

Let’s Plant a Garden

Yes. Yes. Yes. We cannot change the past. And, what we resist persists anyway. So there is no point in putting much time and energy there. But we can build a new model that makes the old one obsolete. We can plant and tend a new garden and let the other one just go to seed. I have written on this before, back in July, and still love the whole idea.

Recently someone online asked what word or phrase we would take with us into the New Year. My answer was “Onward and Upward.” Who knows why I am inspired. I know that not everyone is. But I am and hope that you will join me. Join each other and me. Onward and Upward for 2021.

Love,

Madelaine

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What Good Are Goals?https://madelaineweiss.com/what-good-are-goals/https://madelaineweiss.com/what-good-are-goals/#commentsSat, 19 Dec 2020 18:42:22 +0000https://madelaineweiss.com/?p=3173]]>

‘New Year, New You’? Sounds good only maybe you said that before and, like the majority of people, well you know: 92% of resolutions fail80% of them failing by mid-February, and you may be making the same ones over and over again

Why Set Goals?

So why even bother setting goals if you are only going to disappoint yourself? Because it helps.

But it can’t just be any old goals, just because someone, or maybe even you, think you should, whatever it is. 

NO, to get from Goal Setting to Goal Commitment to Goal Success it has to be something that inspires us, something aligned with who we really are, with what makes us tick.

Then, setting goals really can help us make sure that what we think and do supports and serves that goal.

Plus, a goal well met gives us a sense of ‘can do’ that excites the brain’s motivational and reward system into wanting to do even more.

How Should We Set Goals?

Ok then, so how do we set the goals? For some of the more popular methods, we have your SMART Goals, your (believe it or not) HARD Goals, and your WOOP Goals too, this last one sounding especially grounded in some pretty serious research. Links provided here so you can compare and contrast yourself.

Naturally, I have a bias for my own repeatable method, which becomes available very soon with case examples and exercises in Getting to G.R.E.A.T. 5-Step Strategy for Work and Life, Based on Science and Stories, including my own. (And you can join my mailing list at madelaineweiss.com for book launch announcements to know when it’s out.)

For now, however, let’s see if we can put in a nutshell where people go wrong.

Where Do People Go Wrong?

Again, goals that are not internally driven are less likely to succeed. 

And sometimes people bite off too much or too little. Action steps associated with the goals have to be not so big that they overwhelm and shut us down altogether—but big enough to show the brain that there is something pretty cool going on, so it wants more. 

A central feature in my own method is preparing upfront for the normal, natural, expectable, predictable—resistance to any change that matters enough to be taking on in the first place. To know this is to be able to master the resistance, so it doesn’t get in the way.

So How Do We Break Old Habits?

My answer to that is we don’t! Old saying, what we resist persists, so just leave the thing alone.

American architect, author, inventor Buckminster Fuller said it this way:

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

Yes! And another way to frame it is to think about goal setting for change as planting a new garden, tending it carefully, enjoying it, paying no mind at all to the old one, while the neural connections of the old habit just weaken and wither away out of your life. 

How wonderful is that! Please know that I never recommend anything I haven’t tried myself. Works for me. Feel free to use the Power Breathing exercise in “Complimentary …” pulldown at madelaineweis.com

See what you think and let us know.

And warmest wishes for the holidays,

Madelaine

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Big Tip for the Holidays: Thoughts are Not Foodhttps://madelaineweiss.com/big-tip-for-the-holiday-covid-food-obsessed-thoughts-are-not-food/https://madelaineweiss.com/big-tip-for-the-holiday-covid-food-obsessed-thoughts-are-not-food/#commentsSat, 12 Dec 2020 21:48:36 +0000https://madelaineweiss.com/?p=3155Just because some thought in the head says “I want to eat” after you already did—doesn’t mean you have to do what it says. Who is The Decider? You are an adult now. Of course you take suggestions under consideration, but then you are, or should be, the decider of what’s true and right and […]]]>
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