Monday, May 11, 2026
A three-letter acronym has all of Georgetown abuzz.
Is it ROP (resident-only parking)? RCV (ranked-choice voting), perhaps? Nope, it’s SNL, which set last Saturday’s “cold open” in what Variety called “a D.C. area dive bar.”
Billy Martin and his wife Gina had gone to bed before their usual viewing of “Saturday Night Live.” Come morning, the fourth-generation owner of Martin’s Tavern, a Wisconsin Avenue landmark and the District’s oldest family-owned restaurant, woke up asking, “Why do I have so many messages on my phone?”
As Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, SNL’s Colin Jost called Martin’s “my sneaky bar where I’m not going to run into anyone from work.” No such luck. Shortly after Kenan Thompson takes his order, who should burst in but Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh — that is, host Matt Damon, complete with robe and gavel, which he promptly bangs on the bar.
After they bump chests, “Kavanaugh” orders “six Bud Lights and three shots of Jamo” (Jameson). “A 6-3 Decision, coming right up,” responds Thompson.
“Hegseth”: “Dude, can you believe I just, like, started a war?”
“Kavanaugh”: “Can you believe I ended abortion? Hey, your body, my choice!”
When the justice sadly declares that the real war is the “War Against Male Loneliness,” a third member of what’s been called “Trump’s Liquor Cabinet,” played by Aziz Ansari, shows up, displaying his personalized bourbon (guess who).
Confessions spill out, including, from “Kavanaugh,” a top-secret plan. Thompson announces last call and the six-minute bit, which is now racking up millions of YouTube views, segues to Chumbawamba’s 1997 hit “Tubthumping.”
“We want to reiterate that Martin’s is very bipartisan,” said Martin. “Everybody comes through our door.” He recalled when Supreme Court justices “came and they would have dinner and were discussing Brown versus the Board of Education in Martin’s Tavern” — just one example of the tavern’s role in historic events (notably JFK’s proposal to Jackie).
“Of course, you know, it’s all political humor, casting aspersions on the guys’ supposed drinking habits and what not,” he said.
Among the comments on YouTube were the following:
“They portrayed them far cooler than they actually are.”
“I walk past Martin’s Tavern pretty regularly after classes. I can confirm that this is word for word what goes on in there.”
Martin noted a key distinction: “They kind of got the color schemes right, but we don’t have a jukebox.”
You can see the cold open here.