A friend of mine told me a story about her father’s unusual encounter with a police officer many years ago. He was driving on a highway when he was stopped by the cop. Because he was going well below the speed limit and there were no problems with his car that he could think of, he was flummoxed when he saw the patrol cruiser’s flashing lights in his rearview mirror.

He pulled over and when the officer walked up to his car, he asked him the reason for the stop. The officer requested his driver’s license and registration and told him that he had been driving in the left lane at 40 miles per hour, far below the 65 miles-per-hour speed limit. That perplexed him even more. To him, he was driving safely and if anything, the other motorists who had been whizzing past him in the lanes to his right were the ones the officer should have been worried about. The cop calmly explained to him that the left lane is for passing only, and that the law prohibits slow driving in it except when preparing to make an exit off it. That was not the case in this instance so he issued him a ticket.

Naturally, her father was incensed. He saw his being penalized for driving “safely” as one of the greatest injustices ever perpetrated against man. His daughter tried to explain to him that the officer had indeed been right, but he vigorously disagreed.

As I think about the untold damage that political polarization has done and continues to do to our nation, I am reminded of my friend’s father’s encounter with the police officer. Driving in the middle lane should carry no such penalty risk, unless of course one is going well above the speed limit. On political, social and cultural issues, I tend to be middle-of-the-road so in theory, I should be irreproachable when I express my views. But I have been taken to task many times.

I have friends across the political spectrum. A few of them are on the extreme ends of the left and the right. Occasionally, some of my writings touch on hot-button issues, and the views I share often seem to elicit some interesting reactions from my far-leaning conservative and liberal friends. Because of my background, many of them see me as someone who has a strong platform to speak authoritatively on those controversial subjects. They get quite annoyed when I don’t punch as hard as they think I should.

There are things in life that are demonstrably wrong and we shouldn’t equivocate when talking about them. I can indeed be hard-hitting when I need to. But mostly, I prefer the measured approach. Depending on the matter at hand, I sometimes tilt left or right, but I make sure not to stray too far from the middle lane. Nothing teaches better than lived experience. I always find myself looking at issues through multiple prisms because of the way my life has unfolded. That results in many of my views being so nuanced that they irritate some of my friends.

Our views are predominantly shaped by the environments we were raised in. For that reason, I always try to listen closely to the arguments my friends make and judge them on the basis of the socio-cultural structures they grew up in. When I do, I often see the sense in what they are trying to say. After I acknowledge the contextual validity of their viewpoints, I add that my opinions differ from theirs simply because I am looking at whatever issue is at stake from a different set of perspectives. Normally, we are able to end matters quietly that way. Occasionally, things don’t go that smoothly.

A couple of years ago, one of my ultra-conservative friends called to angrily complain that I had gone too soft in a piece I had written about a hot-button issue. I let him vent. When he finished talking, I patiently made the case for why I had taken the measured tone that had upset him so much. He was having none of it. He insisted that the best way to solve some of our pressing societal problems is to have people like me speak up strongly and call things as they are. I responded that I generally share that view, but I forcefully pushed back on his grievance in that particular case. We went back and forth for a while and ultimately agreed to disagree.

He later confessed to me that his girlfriend had desperately tried to stop him from making that angry call to me. Because of how upset he was, she was truly worried that he would ruin our relationship. Although he assured her that there was no chance of that happening, it didn’t ease her concern. She became convinced only after learning that we have had several “normal” conversations after that confrontation. He and I have been friends for nearly three decades. Over that period, we have had numerous conversations, both in person and over the phone, and have learned a lot about each other. We are both old school so I have always enjoyed talking to him. His friendship is one that I value deeply, a feeling that he also shares.

While such heated exchanges about my writings are not the norm, I seem to upset some of my friends quite regularly. I can always tell when I do. One or two of them will go silent for a couple of weeks. When they “return,” we simply pick up where we left off. I am always amused when someone immediately resumes hibernation because they find some new article(s) I have authored even more objectionable than the one(s) that sent them into dormancy.

My friends can perhaps stop me from being so annoying by finding someone in law enforcement to start issuing tickets for political middle-lane hogging. If it were to start hitting me in the pocket book, I would maybe reassess my choice of lane. Until then, they should brace themselves for more aggravation.