Like what? I get to do the dishes? Yep, that’s it. Exactly. Wish I could remember where I first heard it—this simple shift from “I Have To” to “I Get To” that makes all the difference in the world.

What If You Couldn’t?

A board chair said exactly that to me only a few days ago about the dishes, to which I responded, “Okay, let’s see… What if you didn’t get to do the dishes because you couldn’t.” 

What if you couldn’t do the dishes because you were sick, or because you were caring for someone who was sick so you didn’t have the time, or because your work right now was so overbearing that you were lucky to find time to eat, let alone clean up after.

Or what if there was no food, so there were no dishes. A little extreme maybe, and maybe not, as there are people right now, too many people, who can only dream about a meal at the table, with dishes to clean. You get the idea.

Not Just About the Dishes

And, of course, this extends far beyond the dishes. 

What if you couldn’t work because in fact you had no job, and didn’t know if or when you would ever be employed again.

Or you couldn’t exercise because, for one reason or another, you couldn’t even get out of bed.

Or you couldn’t call your mother because well…she wasn’t here anymore.

Word Shift to Mind Shift

So many people I know are setting a word or a phrase to steer them in 2021. And this really is a good one. In fact, I just found a book, “I Get To” by Alicia Dunams, on how using the right words can transform our work and our lives.

And here is an article by motivational speaker and author, George Couros, on the subject as well.

In my own book, coming soon, you will find a whole chapter on “Mastering Your Mouth,” including why, when, how we talk to each other, and something I hope will help on how we talk to ourselves.

The idea is that our words to ourselves matter, and can make more of a difference than we may know in shaping the quality of our lives—guiding us in one direction or another, impacting mood and behavior, dramatically so.

I get to tell you that I am living by “I Get to” routinely now and loving it!! And you get to try it on for yourself. If you care to, you also get to let us know what you find. Would love to hear!

Stay safe, warm hugs,

Madelaine