Home > NewsRelease > How to Prevent Your Spouse From 'Quiet Quitting' Your Marriage
How to Prevent Your Spouse From 'Quiet Quitting' Your Marriage
Susan Allan -- The Marriage Forum Susan Allan -- The Marriage Forum
For Immediate Release:
Dateline: Santa Barbara, CA
Sunday, December 17, 2023


Create an UNBREAKABLE BOND that stands the test of time

Some wives feel too hopeless, and disappointed to bother discussing their feelings with their husbands because they know that no one is listening

They know this because their husbands haven’t been listening for a long time and perhaps they never listened at all even during the early years. These are the women who are most likely to “Quietly Quit” their marriages.

Have you considered what happens if you don’t listen to your partner and negative feelings fester? This is the #1 cause of partners “Quietly Quitting” or heading for the hills with expensive divorce lawyers. Have you wondered why so many uber-successful corporate types like CEOs and CFOs may have long-term marriages but after a few years, the spark seems to be gone and they no longer kiss or hug their spouses and their spouses aren’t kissing them?

When you run a company, even if you’re the nicest guy in the world, you control employees’ incomes, so they usually obey you to protect their paychecks. The wives of these CEOs may start with that MO as brides wanting to be the “housewife-housewife” but when resentment builds, one phone call to a divorce lawyer will show them the way out of Deadsville is usually paved with gold. Unlike the fate of some employees who quit without a golden parachute, domestic partners usually amass equity; like paying a mortgage for a long time and getting a payday when you sell your home.   

Forcing your Partner to Stifle Complaints Leads to Disaster

Anger, frustration, and grief don’t suddenly appear, and they don’t just disappear either. Instead, the less powerful partner, usually the wife, gives up; stops talking about problems; and begins an exit strategy. Yet, if these powerful CEO types learn to hear their partners and acknowledge the truth in their complaints, they can often turn the marriage around before it’s too late. The truth is that most of these women began their relationships full of hope and many of them discovered that silence was the price of their meal ticket. Even then, when the hope of a happy future was diminished many didn’t “quit” at all but instead, they soldiered on hoping for a miracle. 

Please let me know your questions so you can shift away from Quiet Quitting to LOVE!

Categories of Quiet Quitting

Whether wives are quietly quitting just the sex life, the marital bed, or permanently leaving the marital home depends more on the wife’s ability/disability to function in the world rather than on love. By the time a wife’s anger or disappointment makes her think about quitting she has disconnected from any unconditional love and now she’s there for convenience, financial survival, or the all-popular; “for the children”.  

Most Chairmen are dynamic “can-do” people however, they usually have fewer listening skills than they need. Listening with empathy is the #1 skill required for lifelong passion and the deepest most joyous intimacy and without it, the bed goes from hot to cold in a matter of years. This is the key reason that so many wives quietly quit and so many of these powerful guys end up paying for an expensive escort service and a “girlfriend experience” instead of having a real loving girlfriend.  While they say a woman is too much trouble and heap derision on their Exes, when you take the time to listen, you’ll hear the confusion and hopelessness that these Titans of Industry feel when they go home at night to an empty house or a life that lacks unconditional love and authentic passion.

Here's all they need to do to Bring Love and Passion into their Lives

Listening means you hear your partner’s needs, and you’re not waiting for them to stop talking so that they will listen to you- AGAIN!

1.    You care enough to consider how your partner’s needs differ from your own and you don’t judge.

2.    You learn a loving vocabulary so you can reply with love and compassion about her needs, not yours.

3.    AFTER you listen and learn what isn’t working, then you sweetly ask,

“Is there anything else you want me to know, Honey?” and you MEAN IT! 

4.    AFTER you have understood everything that is causing your wife pain, then you can ask,

“Would you be willing to hear my thoughts about that?” and you wait patiently in case that triggers her to say more because you remember that LISTENING creates as much passion as SPEAKING!  

Examples that work and don’t work:

I.                1st Example

A.   She says, “I’m tired of doing all the housework AND having a job, too, when you just do your job!”

B.    Instead of arguing back, you reply, “I know you must feel exhausted at the end of the week. It sounds like you need to rest this weekend instead of socializing, right?”

II 2nd Example

A.   She says, “I’m not in the mood”.

B.   Rather than bickering, you reply, “I understand; you had a long day; let me rub your back, and honestly honey- that’s all I’m going to do!” and you say that with a smile.

III 3rd Example

A.   She says, “I can’t sleep with your snoring; I’m going to sleep in the other bedroom.”

B.   To let her feel heard and to take the first step to creating the loving environment that prevents Quiet Quitting you reply, “I know you have given up so much sleep to keep me company. Would it be helpful if I consult a doctor to see about options that work because I love being together every night and you need to be able to sleep, too?”    

There is a Secret Hack if you Hate Listening to Complaints!

If you do what works, if you provide more of what your partner wants then there is less for her to complain about. This doesn’t mean that you now become the slave, it means that you understand that a deeply loving relationship is based on both partners’ needs being met.

Loving words have been proven to be the #1 most powerful way to make romantic people feel loved. All the gifts, trips, and possessions fail to create an intimate, intensely emotional bond so if you fear that your partner is in danger of Quietly Quitting or loudly quitting, learning to use sweet affectionate words can save your marriage. Even if to you these words seem too “fluffy” please know that this is what a passionate loving woman often needs to hear. Simple phrases such as these do need to be memorized until they become second nature for you and please be sure to use a sweet soft tone of voice:

Examples of Loving Words:

I.      “I love it when you…………..”

II.              “You make me very happy when you…………….”

III.            “Do you prefer when I …………………. or when I ……………..”

IV.           “Would you be willing to……………..”

When you communicate in this way you are creating an unbreakable bond that stands the test of time as well as weathering any challenges you may face because now you will face life as partners and equals.

Here is another of my Related Articles you may enjoy!

RELATED: The Subtle (But Powerful) Way Partners Ask For Love & Attention — And How To Respond

Please enjoy the entire article at

My Full article on Quiet-Quitting at Yourtango.com

Susan Allan’s Heartspace® The Marriage Forum Inc. 805-695-8405   818-314-1200

Introduction to Susan Allan and Life Mastery Training  LearnDesk


Nonviolent Communication® expert           Certified Mediator The Divorce Forum®  

Dating, Marriage, Reconciliation, Peaceful no-court Divorce, Avoiding Domestic Violence


https://www.youtube.com/user/susanallan2001  275 videos



News Media Interview Contact
Name: Susan Allan
Group: The Marriage Forum Inc.
Dateline: Santa Barbara, CA United States
Direct Phone: 805-695-8405
Main Phone: 805-695-8405
Cell Phone: 818-314-1200
Jump To Susan Allan -- The Marriage Forum Jump To Susan Allan -- The Marriage Forum
Contact Click to Contact