In life, failure is inevitable.

All inventions from the wheel to the motorcar and airplane to the rocket began on a
foundation of failures. Imagine the human who first had the idea for a wheel and
wondered why his square stone didn’t roll very well! Fortunately for mankind, he went
back to the drawing board and wouldn’t quit. The men and women that we consider to
be successful in life—celebrities, athletes, authors, business owners—overcame
multiple setbacks by not giving up. And many of the people we personally know and
admire are examples of success, whether it’s a single mom who earned her master’s
degree while raising three children or a high school dropout who became a thriving
business owner. We’ve all heard the secret to success is never giving up, but the
question is how. How do you use your failures to create a successful life?

When it feels like life is beating you down, it’s hard to take risks. When you feel as if
you “can’t do anything right”, it can be scary to believe in yourself. Yet, believing in your
ability to get up after a fall, dust yourself off, and keep moving ahead is a large part of
the success journey. It’s rare, if not impossible, to bypass failure and land on success
the first time, or even the second or third time. The most accomplished individuals did
not achieve their success because they were born to succeed, lucky, or in the
right place at the right time. This way of thinking creates a fixed mindset rather than a
growth mindset. It isn’t that successful people are born with special talents or abilities,
it’s that they are already prepared for opportunity when it knocks.

If you want to create a successful life, here are some guidelines to follow:

Embrace failure as a prerequisite to success.

J.K. Rowling was turned down 12 times before her manuscript of Harry Potter was
accepted. The late Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, was a college dropout and got fired
from his own company at one point. Facing one criticism and failure after another, Walt
Disney persevered until he became the successful entrepreneur who gave us
Disneyland and Mickey Mouse. Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “Every artist was first an
amateur.” 1 Think of it; you don’t go from kindergarten straight to college! You advance
level by level, laying new skills down over the previous foundation. There is not only a
learning curve in academics, but in life as well. With experience we learn how to handle
differences, resolve conflicts, and grow in relationships. Whether it’s life skills or career
skills, it’s normal and expected that we will stumble many times before getting things
right.

Learn from mistakes and move ahead.

“A mistake is just that—an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong.” 2 The
implication is that a mistake can be countered with an action or judgment that is right or good. As
humans we are capable of learning, changing, and adapting. We can analyze the
situations we face and our responses to them, thereby using logic and reason to
respond differently in the future. It’s not always easy. Sometimes patterns of behavior
are so engrained that it’s difficult to establish new ones, yet with determination and
practice we can replace bad habits with ones that are good. Make peace with failing. 3
It’s important to recognize and acknowledge that you are a work in progress. Take the
lessons learned and move on. Forgive yourself (and others) for mistakes and failures
and press forward, knowing you are capable of growth and change.

Recruit the help of others.

Some of the most successful artists, musicians, educators, and public servants were
inspired and encouraged by others who rose to the top of the same fields. On a smaller
scale, but no less significant, are the many married couples who have been together for
decades or parents who successfully raised their children through the most difficult of
circumstances or the dedicated teachers who mentored underprivileged students and
made a positive impact in their lives. Such people can be found in our own
communities, neighborhoods, and families. We don’t have to “do life” alone. Like
successful people who have gone before us, we, too, can turn to others for guidance
and advice.

The successful life is not simply one of fame and fortune, but one that is marked by
perseverance and courage. It isn’t comprised only of a checklist of achievements, but of
the vision and optimism of the human soul. Success looks different for everyone, so
don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. The very things you perceive to
be failures may actually be steppingstones to bigger and better things. By taking your
mistakes, shortcomings, and inadequacies and using them as lessons that teach you
valuable truths, you will create for yourself a successful life.

1 Burkley, M. (2018). Six simple steps for overcoming failure. Psychology Today. Retrieved from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-social-thinker/201810/six-simple-tips-overcoming-failure
2 https://www.dictionary.com/browse/mistake?s=t
3 Tardanico, S. (2012). Five ways to make peace with failure. Forbes. Retrieved from
https://www.forbes.com/sites/susantardanico/2012/09/27/five-ways-to-make-peace-with-failure/#4a41afa23640