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How Guilt Can Impact You and Your Divorce
Rosalind Sedacca -- Divorce and Co-Parenting Expert Rosalind Sedacca -- Divorce and Co-Parenting Expert
For Immediate Release:
Dateline: West Palm Beach, FL
Wednesday, May 1, 2024


By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

Many caring parents I speak to admit to feeling tremendous guilt during and after their divorce. It’s easy to understand why. Parents who are aware of the emotional toll a separation or divorce can take on their children often feel torn about whether they made the right decision.

Asking relevant questions can be healthy!

Are they being selfish in moving ahead with the divorce? Will this experience psychologically scar their children for life? Will the kids ever forgive them – or their other parent – for initiating the divorce? Are they making the right decisions regarding co-parenting and visitation? Are they overwhelmed by the challenges of parent to parent communication? Are they failing in discussing relevant decisions with the kids?

These are valid questions to ask yourself. The answers should be seriously considered before moving into divorce. However, divorce is never a black and white issue. Changing the form of a family unit doesn’t necessarily mean destroying the family. Nor does it have to destroy the love bond between parents and children.

It all depends upon how you handle the challenges. Sometimes divorce is the wisest decision or the best direction to move in. It can be the path to stability and peace of mind for a family experiencing devastating emotional turmoil.

Don’t get stuck in guilt or your past!

Guilt in itself can be a very destructive emotion. It’s based on focusing your attention on the past. When you bring a magnifying glass to your past, you’re inevitably going to find many decisions, behaviors and actions to regret.

Guilt is about getting stuck in those regrets. It can consume your thoughts, your days and your activities. Even more dangerous — it can fill you with shame, remorse and self-flagellation.

Take action on the path to making amends!

Don’t be a victim of your own guilt. Take action instead! Did you behave in ways you regret? Said things you wish you hadn’t? Or didn’t do what you now know you should have done? Now’s the perfect time to determine ways to make amends.
Can you sincerely apologize to the parties you hurt? Or perhaps write a note?

Can you begin taking a new direction in your life based on wiser decisions?

Would you be able to teach or share lessons you learned with others? This is often a valuable way to take the sting out of life lessons so that your pain is not in vane. Many divorce coaches and family therapists have stories to tell of their own misguided decisions which they are eager to share with clients.

Feel relief by stepping into the present!

Start by moving your attention into the present, rather than the past. You’ll feel relief and a sense of power over your life once again. You’re taking steps to right a wrong or make a challenging situation more tolerable. You’re changing the course of your life. And hopefully the lives of your children – moving in a better direction for all concerned.

Most important of all, you are more likely to come to the place of forgiving yourself and letting go. You’ve attempted to make amends. You’ve acknowledged your errors and taken a wiser course of action. You’ve learned valuable lessons you can share with others. You’re taking responsibility for your behaviors, not lingering in a pity party over past deeds.

These are steps toward projecting your thoughts back into the present. From here you can begin living a life that is more rewarding, peaceful and satisfying – despite or as a result of – your divorce!
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Rosalind Sedacca, CDC is a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network. She is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – With Love! To get her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting, and learn about her coaching services, programs and other valuable resources on divorce and parenting issues, visit www.childcentereddivorce.com.


About the Child-Centered Divorce Network

A support network for parents, Child-Centered Divorce provides articles, advice, a weekly newsletter, books, coaching services, a free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting: Success Strategies for Getting It Right and other valuable resources on divorce and parenting issues. Learn more at www.childcentereddivorce.com.
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News Media Interview Contact
Name: Rosalind Sedacca
Title: Director
Group: ChildCentered Divorce Network
Dateline: Boynton Beach, FL United States
Direct Phone: 561-742-3537
Main Phone: 5613854205
Cell Phone: 561 385-4205
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