Think of all the things you do well. Are you a cook, an athlete, a math whiz, an author or speaker, a person who can repair anything, an architect or interior designer, a gardener? Why do you identify as that kind of person? Confidence? Now think about how you feel when you’re engaged in those activities: peaceful, interested, and focused. Confidence that comes from being good at something shapes how you see yourself and others. In like manner, having effective communication skills strengthens your personality and self-esteem. How so?

In its most basic form, communication is:

a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior. (Merriam Webster)

Language and speaking are only a part of communication. You’re sending messages through art, dance, music, behaviors, and even objects. For example, a wedding ring communicates commitment, love, and fidelity. A nation’s flag communicates patriotism, pride, and loyalty. Rites, such as baptism, kneeling or bowing, communicate religious or spiritual beliefs.  Giving a handmade gift, making cookies in the shape of hearts, displaying a beautiful picture on the wall, and even something as mundane as cleaning the kitchen all communicate messages, intentionally or not. What does a meticulously clean house tell you about the people who live there? Or a manicured lawn? Or a bumper sticker on a car? Or a dozen roses sitting in a vase on the table? These are all expressions of personality, beliefs, interests, feelings, and abilities.

An action, an image, a gesture sometimes may be the best communication tool.

If you are alive, you’re already a communicator. Think of it! Babies haven’t learned to talk, yet they communicate distress by crying, or contentedness by cooing and smiling. Placing your hands in a namaste pose, sign language, giving a hug, even laughter or weeping, are all languages. So be encouraged! You don’t need a fancy vocabulary. It isn’t the number of sophisticated words you use that counts; it’s the ability to use even a basic vocabulary or non-verbal medium to convey the message you want to get across. When you’re able to articulate your thoughts or express your feelings in ways that other people understand, it does much to increase your confidence and self-esteem.

Effective communication—regardless of medium—is a skill that not only reveals your personality, but strengthens it. Our core personality is developed during infancy and early childhood, based upon our temperament and experiences. While this remains stable throughout life, certain aspects can change due to events, maturity, social roles, and relationships. We can learn to overcome negative traits (anger, impulsivity, shyness) or improve on positive ones (compassion, integrity, social awareness). This is good news for individuals lacking in social confidence!

These simple actions may greatly improve your communication skills:

Tap your strengths first.

Start by using the talents, skills, and abilities you’re good at to express yourself. You might be excellent at writing, but not so much in speaking. So get your thoughts down on paper or in a journal.

Try out multiple communication tools.

You may be great at doing acts of kindness or service for others, but not very good at talking or writing. So let your actions speak louder than your words. Maybe you’re able to speak to others, but feel inadequate in terms of education. So make an effort to become well-read and keep up with current events so you can speak to others with confidence.Let the communication tools you feel best express yourself and that you’re comfortable with be your go-tos.

Learn and Practice.

Developing effective communication skills is within reach. It’s a matter of learning what good communication entails and then putting it into practice until it becomes second nature. By staying committed, your positive personality traits, confidence, and self-esteem will improve dramatically, and so will your relationships! Because your acquaintances will become friends once they know who you are. That will breed confidence, attracting more people.

But you have to express yourself first!

Kathryn Ramsperger, MA is an master intuitive life coach and award-winning author.

If you’re struggling with blocks to your communication, creativity, or success, please email Kathy@groundonecoaching.com for a free consultation to explore some more cutting edge tools to heal and enrich your life.