Many
GOOD PARENTS have commented on my blog post,
Parent Advice for Raising Children in the Real World. Some love it and some feel like I am focussing too much on fear. I wanted to let you know...the reason I wrote that particular
parent blog post is because recently, I saw a young man standing on the street corner when I was with my family. When my kids asked why he was on the street corner, holding a sign and asking for money, I started to cry. You see, I know that he is standing there for a reason. He was trained to be there and it breaks my heart because the
GOOD PARENTS, who raised him, have no idea why their son turned out that way.
No parent ever wants to hear that they have done something to cause pain to their child and we are not here to hurt or insult the
GOOD PARENTS out there, who are just doing their best to survive. We are here to raise the awareness for parents, that when a
child acts out it is the parent's job to find a positive solution. You see, every parent alive was taught to parent from their parents, who were taught by their parents and so on. For some of you the thought of this will be scary!!!
Every day I see moms dictating to their children. Some with a harsh tone "Come here!" and some dictation by nice parents, "Little Timmy, come over here." I see dads telling their children how to sit and stand on the baseball field "Timmy, move over there. Hold your hand higher!" or whatever it is, and how to do just about everything that the child can and should be figuring out on his own. I know that
GOOD PARENTS don't do it on purpose, they were taught how to parent from their parents. Remember? I certainly didn't speak to my children with dictation because I wanted to hurt them, actually, it was quite the opposite. I wanted what was best for them, like every mom and dad wants for their children.
Yes, children need to be taught things because they don't know how to do things, yet. What if
GOOD PARENTS stopped dictating and took the time to teach their child the difference between how to sit bare minimum, average or outstanding and then informed them of the corresponding reward. There would be no more parents yelling at their children to "SIT UP!" Or dictating nicely, "Sit up little Timmy." Think about it, if the child is always told how and what to do or if mom and dad come to the rescue for every little obstacle, when does the child get to think for himself or herself? At what age does a child just wake up and say, "Okay, today is the day I choose to become responsible."?
What if there was a way that
GOOD PARENTS could learn to teach the child all 3 options and then gave the child the opportunity to choose to sit outstanding? That way he can earn chocolate milk vs. water with dinner, instead of being told how to sit and then be expected to simply comply. Our kids are smart enough to learn the different ways to sit, including the way you choose for them to sit, which would be outstanding, and then choose themselves to be outstanding.
I didn't see my parenting mistakes, in doing my best to be a great mom, until my oldest child was 12 years old and I watched him bang his head on the counter when he thought he was out of his ADD pills. :(
So, I wrote that post, not to make friends, but to stir things up a little in the minds of
GOOD PARENTS out there, who are wondering why their children have
ADD, ADHD, Oppositional Defiance or any other behavior disorder. I have seen the Creating Champions for Life parenting philosophy produce fabulous results with children, with or without behavior disabilities, and of all ages and pray that you find it in your heart to see this message for what it really is, a cry out for GOOD PARENTS to see what spoiling children with material things, doing things for them, bribing them with goodies and yelling at them, really can do to a child's heart. The girls who turn to boys for love don't know why they do what they do and the boys who act out just don't know how to get what they want any other way. It's time for the GOOD PARENTS to learn the art of guiding behavior vs. punishment.
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Bonnie has an extensive background in personal development. She has been recognized as a leader in business, being featured in two National Magazines, Success Magazine and Your Business at home. She has worked with tens of thousands of individuals through Inspirational Speaking, Coaching and Leadership.
Thomas has spent his entire life working with and coaching children. He began coaching little league at the age of 17 and by 1994 he was running and operating his own Martial Arts School. He made a decision early on to always work with kids in a positive manner, meaning never saying no to a child and it worked to produce happy, successful and grateful children!!! He has developed a philosophy for guiding children behavior by teaching children to earn things.
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