Recently on a fitness retreat in Ivins, Utah I hiked every morning at 8 am. While on one of my solo hikes, I listened to an audio book called Break Through Roadblocks: How to Manifest Your Dreams by Sarah Fader.

Fader talks about identifying your insecurities and your roadblocks, be they an internal insecurity or an external roadblock.

In my case I still encounter insecurities and roadblocks.

As you no doubt know, awareness is the first step to any change. Fader follows suit by describing a way to communicate with yourself to identify periods of time when insecurities might have developed, such as painful moments of your life. So I thought about some of those painful moments.

Then the next step is to begin to change your mindset. Fader suggests using a Gestalt Therapy process that you might have experienced or heard of in the past. You sit in a room alone with two chairs. In one chair you’re the person who caused the pain, be it a critical parent, friend, teacher, bully, etc. And you spit out all the criticisms you received. Then you switch to the opposite chair as yourself, countering all those criticisms or painful comments.

Finally regarding goals, it’s critical to write them down in order to make them happen. It helps you see them. Sometimes a goal seems abstract and writing it down clarifies exactly what you want.

She suggests writing down the steps, so the goal seems more manageable. This may seem obvious, but Fader suggests not writing out a whole long list. Rather, she suggests writing only 3 items that need to get done. This gives you a framework. Within each step, there will most likely be smaller pieces, but at first you don’t want to feel overwhelmed.

You may realize that you need to ask for help from a coach. When I first started my speaking business, I thought I was supposed to do everything and solve every problem on my own. I thought that’s what an independent person does. Now that I have realized the value having a coach who has been successful, the struggle is much more manageable.

Everyone needs help from time to time. Advice from a wiser, more experienced person is one of the ways we learn.

Finally, Fader talks about the use of mantras to feel more confident. For example,

I am doing the best that I can.
I am strong.
One step at a time.

She goes on to suggest finding something in nature that makes you feel grounded when you’re feeling unsteady. She suggests a mountain. She says that imagining you are that mountain gives you feelings of security and strength. The connected mantra would be:

I feel unmovable and steady.

Luckily, I was on a mountain path, so that was easy to do in the moment.

When have you ever felt like you needed help overcoming insecurities and reaching a goal, and what did you do about it?