If you’re feeling as if you’re down for the count, you're not alone. I’ve been there and these are the tools that get me up and at ‘em again, with more power and peacefulness so that the problem that caused the suffering begins to be solved the same day it hits you with a body blow.
Learning to self-soothe is the best first step to straightening out any mess that can occur in love, money, health, career, or family. Instead of perpetuating pain, you can learn to reset your life with these tools.
Here are 7 ways to find hope when it feels like nothing will help
1. Practice self-empathy for excruciating self-talk
Excruciating self-talk is usually learned from parents or caregivers. If words like “stupid”, “lazy”, or “ugly” were in your family’s vocabulary you have probably contracted this “virus”, too.
An exercise for excruciating self-talk: A simple replacement exercise for self-talk replaces compassionate words for cruel ones so you can replace vicious self-criticism with self-love.
Start when triggered or unable to be empathetic with yourself. Silently, give self-empathy for a few minutes until you come to peace. Select only the examples below that are appropriate each time you need Self-Empathy.
Examples of self-empathy during a difficult partnership issue:
When I think about my partner, I feel hopeless because I need support. Then breathe.
When I think about life at home, I feel despair because I need understanding. Then breathe.
When I think about yesterday’s argument, I feel furious because I need cooperation. Then breathe.
When I think about our marriage, I feel sad because I need a partnership. Then breathe.
When I think about his temper, I feel desperate because I need peace, Then breathe.
This works because you activate parts of your brain necessary for solving your issue, as demonstrated by a study in Scientific Reports. It also works because you become far clearer about your needs instead of lumping everything into a snowball of “Hopelessness”. When you use this skill regularly the additional benefit is you avoid the bottom of the roller coaster altogether by self-soothing before things get out of hand.
2. Self-soothe to balance neurochemical hopelessness
Feeling hopeless is often caused by neurochemical imbalances described in the Psychopathology Review as taking us from feeling sad to hitting rock bottom. Serotonin, dopamine, or other neurotransmitters are the brain's “natural healthy opioids” but can also bring on hopelessness.
Sometimes, after extreme stress, the body’s ability to rebuild positive brain chemistry is blocked and the more you stress the worse it gets, as supported by a study published in The Journal of Affective Disorders. If you know someone with a mostly sunny disposition, they inherited a better cocktail of these neurotransmitters that allow them to have a positive worldview despite what is happening around them so don’t blame yourself.
One client described his son's incredible response to losing a job. His son was on the autism spectrum and was a chiropractor who was suddenly fired. He emailed 50 resumes that night because he felt no negative emotions to stop him from moving forward with his goals.
When we look at the difference between this man's ability to take action without anger, fear, or despair compared to most peoples’ emotions after a job loss, we can see the cause and the cure for hopelessness can be biochemical and not situational.
I have found great support from consulting an expert to find what will help you. In addition, this exercise short-circuits hopeless thoughts once you learn it and have practiced it.
We can learn to change our mental focus so we opt for positive action instead of reaction almost immediately after a shock. The sooner you begin self-soothing, the faster you heal.
Self-soothing Exercise: “Who’s Looking Through My Eyes”:
Sit down and look straight ahead. Observe what is in front of you; is it the window and what do you see through the window? Is it a painting or a computer screen? Notice exactly what you are seeing.
Ask, “Who’s Looking Through My Eyes”. Most people believe they see with their eyes, but this isn’t true. Experience your eyes looking at the view; feel it.
Move your consciousness backward. Experience your brain behind your eyes. Did you know that it’s your brain that is actually seeing? Did you know that your eyes are part of your brain? Please feel that now.
Feel who is looking through your eyes behind or above your brain. It is your Soul. See if you can feel your Soul looking at the world; this will calm you very quickly.
Practice. You can enjoy peace every time you feel frightened, angry, sad, or even hopeless. As you continue to practice this for a few minutes each day, the frequency of suffering and hopeless thoughts will diminish until they disappear.
3. Safely exit a harmful relationship
A common cause of despair and depression is intimate relationships that go sideways more often than not. While any relationship can hit an unexpected iceberg, your ability to self-soothe can often be the first step to a successful turnaround for you and your relationship.
However, relationships that include drug and alcohol addiction, gambling, infidelities, and any form of verbal or physical violence trigger deep despair and are too dangerous to continue. Even discussing an end to the relationship with your partner requires skills, so please do not attempt this alone.
To enjoy the rest of this article and many more please visit this link:
Pleased Enjoy the Entire Article on Yourtango