If we learn from our past, we are aware of our errors and course correct. If we don’t know our past, we cannot learn from our predecessors’ or even our own errors. Ignoring our past or keeping it secret can lead to a bleak future prognosis for our lives. It’s time we uncover history, not bury it. To extrapolate, here are six ways history can either create or destroy our future. First, here’s how it can destroy it.

We’re unwilling to acknowledge our mistakes.

Some people are blind to their mistakes. Others refuse to take responsibility for them. Many let shame or pride get in the way of admitting they were wrong. Narcissists are too arrogant to take any responsibility.  Refusal to “make things right”—where possible—leads to broken relationships, distrust, and separation from others. This behavior has a negative impact in the home and in the workforce.

People can be very forgiving when we admit our mistakes and seek to correct them. Yet when we stubbornly resist change, we alienate others, lose their trust, and find ourselves on the outside. This damages relationships and limits future opportunities.

Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Winston Churchill

People that project feelings onto the shadow side of their past or the past in general are often feeling shame themselves, or they may think that if they erase any evidence of the past, all will balance out, and their pain will be vindicated at last. They’d be wrong. Stamping out the past entirely is the very reason it happens again, just like in the movie Groundhog Day. We need to remember the good, the bad, the ugly, in a leader, or a nation, or a family member, in order to

1) forgive them;

2) move on ourselves;

3) make sure it doesn’t happen on down the line.

We base our self-worth on our mistakes.

We are not the sum total of our mistakes, foibles, and failures, yet many of us equate our mess-ups with our value. Negative self-talk can loop back on itself, becoming both cause and effect. We castigate ourselves, which causes us not to forgive ourselves, which drastically changes our present and future. Negative or punishing self-talk like, I’m so stupid! or I’m a terrible person (mom, dad, spouse, friend) or What’s wrong with me? or I’m such a failure only lead to similar thoughts. We need to stop these thoughts, cut the loop, and declutter our minds of corrupted software before we can replace them with new, positive thoughts and actions.

We dwell on our past.

If we remember certain stressful events or ruminate on destructive patterns of behavior, it’s detrimental to us and those around us. If we remember our mistakes in a healthy way, without beating ourselves up, our past can serve as a reminder. It can show us what to avoid in the future. If we constantly mull negative thoughts about our past mistakes or flaws over in our minds, the persistent negative thinking takes a toll on our feelings, then our self-concept, then our outlook on life, and finally, on those who care (or used to care) about us.

There’s a big difference between reflection and rumination. If we reflect on the facts of the past, we can make corrections. If we ruminate about our lives, we end up blaming ourselves or others. This kind of self-talk doesn’t serve anyone. In fact, it induces guilt, shame, and devaluing who you are. It can also lead to projection, or blaming others. The other people we blame often end up being those who are different than we are, or those who are unable to defend themselves against our judgment. Judging statues won’t hurt them, but it can lead to violence, or hatred of those living beings we think might be “like” they were.

Instead of blaming, it might be better to take account of the positive things that person did, said, or stood for, versus the negative things that person did, said, or stood for. If we read, we can better understand both positive and negative sides of an issue, an event, or a person. So here’s how we can learn from our past, and move toward a brighter future.

Mistakes help us make better future decisions.

Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from poor judgment.

Unknown

Learning from the past allows us to shape our future. If we believe that our mistakes and failures are opportunities for growth, we’ll be better able to handle problems and challenges as they come along. Our experiences—bad and good—not only influence our beliefs  about ourselves and others, but teach us what works and what doesn’t. They can be great tools for making better choices now and in the future. If we allow it, our failure adds to our own compassion and empathy for others.

Failure motivates us to change.

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.

Maya Angelou

We have the ability and capacity to create our own happiness. While we can’t change the past or undo damage we may have caused, we can choose to avoid making those same mistakes and move forward with wisdom and greater purpose. Looking ahead to the possibilities of what can be is often the inspirational factor that leads to success. We can also learn from our ancestors’ failures, and if we do that, we are wiser for it. We can make an informed decision and escape some of the pain we would have experienced or inflicted otherwise.

Our past missteps open up a world of possibilities.

Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest.

Henry David Thoreau

Forewarned is forearmed. When we know what works and what doesn’t, we can avoid the pitfalls that derailed us in the past, and repeat the things that brought us success. Every experience we have reveals a facet of ourselves. How we react and engage life as we experience it shows us what we’re capable of and where we fall short. Knowledge is empowering and can give us the courage to try new things and make new discoveries about ourselves, others, and the world.

I’m not a believer in stamping out history or wallowing in it. We need to reflect on it, pull the lessons out, and move on. The past is not the present or the future, but it can determine both if we allow it.

Just as history directs the course of nations, so it does for individuals. However, on the human level, it directs, not determines. The future is fluid because it doesn’t yet exist, and if it doesn’t yet exist, we can create it to be what we want it to be day by day. The power of history lies in what we think and believe about it. It is the driving force that either destroys or constructs new possibilities for a better world and a beautiful future for us all.

Kathryn Ramsperger has a unique perspective on making your history work for you instead of against you. If you’d like to find out how, and how she can help you move past it, contact her now.