Have you gone to a work event or dinner at a friend’s house and noticed there’s someone who’s the “life of the party” and someone else who hangs back and tries to disappear? Most people are in the middle of these extremes, but almost everyone has moments when they feel lonely or detached.

Loneliness is triggered by sadness and fear that is caused by their brain chemistry, which can be adjusted before the condition deteriorates. This is especially important for adolescents and young adults, when they could leave their self-imposed “prison” and find socializing much easier when they grow up, once they learn what contributes to it.

Therefore, when someone appears lonely, please ask yourself, "Are they lonely or do they enjoy being alone?" Regardless of the answer, the list below can help people see how lonely people push others away, often without even realizing it.

Here are 11 ways lonely people tell others to 'stay away' without saying a word:

1. They prefer to spend most of their time alone

Some people love alone time and find it rejuvenating and energizing. However, even for them, too much alone time can prevent them from forming new connections and nurturing the relationships they already have. The key is balance and learning to motivate yourself to call a friend and make plans so you don't inadvertently send the message of "Love me alone!"

2. They usually avoid eye contact

Eye contact doesn't come naturally for everyone, so don't feel doomed if it’s challenging for you. Instead, recognize that to some people, avoiding looking at them translates to you saying, "I want to be alone" or "I don't like you".

If you practice making eye contact with your mirror and your closest friend, you will begin to feel more comfortable over time. Social skills are just that — skills — and it's OK to take some time to practice them!

A 2010 study found, "Patients with generalized social anxiety disorder, in comparison with healthy control participants, reported significantly increased levels of fear and avoidance of eye contact. Fear and avoidance of eye contact are associated with social anxiety in both nonpatient and social anxiety disorder samples."

3. They rarely engage in conversations

I met Greta Garbo, famous for her “I want to be alone” attitude, and both times she was so skittish and shy that she uttered about 5 words before running out of the stores where I was waiting on her. This extreme introversion caused Garbo to suddenly end her Hollywood career while most film stars love adulation and attention!

4. They lack communication skills

Successful communication requires skills and practice, and for painfully shy people, venturing into the “shark-infested waters” of a conversation may seem terrifying. They need encouragement, yet for their relatives and coworkers, it may be exhausting to coax them to express any opinion.

5. They physically distance themselves from others in the same room

You may find a lonely person passing out drinks or hors d’oeuvres at a party to avoid real connection. This is a great strategy, as is clearing the table after a dinner party, because the hostess feels grateful, and the lonely person has ventured outside of a safe cocoon at home. Just don’t offer to help with these waitstaff skills because you need to understand that doing the task alone is the whole point.

6. They prefer to live alone

Everyone who is “Sensitive” has told me that they live alone because the alternative is excruciating. Divorces after 50 are usually the wife’s idea, and most of them continue to live alone for the rest of their lives without a single complaint.

However, when these same women were forced into dorm rooms in college, they suffered because they needed peace, quiet, privacy, and the freedom to live a quiet and often monastic life, exactly what “sensitive” people prefer.

7. They avoid intimate relationships or long-term intimacy

Some lonely people are constantly declining invitations from people who try to fix them up. Even if there is a need for intimate connection, the guy who leaves right after being intimate may be a classic example of this lonely/shy mentality. If their mothers tried to push them to socialize when they were in elementary school, by the time they meet you, any hint of social pressure can cause them to scurry back to their cave, forever.

8. They let phone calls go to voicemail and take days to respond to texts or emails

While you are convinced that your call is an irresistible opportunity to have fun, make business connections, etc., remember that their worldview is different. Your idea of the torture of being cooped up with the flu for a week may be exactly what a lonely/shy type loves and enjoys.

9. They avoid most group activities

Someone who has a lonely lifestyle may love watching movies in a quiet movie theater or alone at home so they can immerse themselves in a great story. However, you may love the opposite, having a group of friends visit so you can autopsy a rom-com.

Consider team sports versus the lone swimmer and the solitary marathoner. Think of the avid reader versus the book club member, and you’ll feel the difference between the person who prefers to be alone and what you enjoy.

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