Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Those kids in costumes are not the scariest things out there this Halloween season. Far more frightening are certain adults ? energy vampires ? who masquerade as ordinary people in your everyday life. They can be friends, spouses, co-workers ? even mere acquaintances, and they lurk at just about every corner.

?Energy vampires suck the life right out of you,? says Cindy Kubica, author and award-winning motivational speaker. ?And beware -- they don?t come out just at Halloween. They?re a year-round drain on your emotional and physical energy supply.?

Energy vampires can be incessant whiners, chronic complainers or people who are moody and unpredictable. They can be arrogant dictators who try to dominate everyone and every situation. Or they can be people so candy-sweet that getting too much of them can make you sick.

?Although it?s easy to recognize most E-Draculas, others aren?t so obvious ? they often work in subtle yet effective ways,? says Kubica. ?For your own sanity, you must stand up to your energy vampires, and take responsibility for your happiness and peace of mind. Stand up to your energy vampires.?

Kubica says the first step to escaping the bite of these energy-sucking ghouls is to recognize who they are because you cannot change what you don?t acknowledge. She offers these tips for taking control:

? Make four columns on a piece of paper. In the first column, identify people who drain you of energy. These are your energy vampires.

? In column two, list the behavior or habit that wears you out.

? In column three, answer these questions: Is this behavior directed just toward me or do others have similar complaints? Is it intentional? Is it harmful, if so, how? After answering these questions, it?s time to draw firm lines in the sand.

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? In column four, plan what you will say to the person who drains you. Note: you want to address a situation caused by the behavior or habit, not attack the person.

- Identify your concern. Be direct. Don?t leave the person guessing.

- Say how you feel. Use words like ?I?m frustrated? or ?I?m upset.?

- Keep it short and to the point. The more words, the weaker your message.

- Avoid attack-words like ?you,? ?always,? ?never? and the big one ? ?but.? These words make people mad. ?But? only negates what you said before.

- Watch your tone. Sarcasm, condescension and disrespect cause people to be angry and resentful, and they will stop listening to what you have to say.

- Ask or tell, don?t complain or yell. Simply put, yelling doesn?t work.

- Seek a solution. Offer your own then ask for their suggestions.

- Practice what you plan to say.

Kubica says, ?When these people start driving you batty, it?s time to stop offering them your neck. You have the power to send your energy vampires back into the shadows,? says Kubica. ?Stand up for yourself and take back your life. You can ? you must ? teach others how you want to be treated.?

Kubica offers more advice in her audio program, ?In Search of Normal,? a compelling and masterful 6-CD set that gives step-by-step advice on how to take charge of your own life, reduce stress and redefine what you want ?normal? to be in your life. Kubica is a dynamic, entertaining speaker and an expert in stress management and communication skills. She motivates and inspires audiences large and small across the United States, sharing a fusion of life-skills she calls ?The Energy Connection.? Clients include Federal Express, Compaq, Bank of America, Tobyhanna Army Depot, McCormick, Virginia Beach Parks and Recreation, Ford Motor Company and many more. Vicky Dunn, First U.S. Army, says, ?Cindy doesn?t just speak to the ears, but to the soul.?

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For more information or to schedule an interview with Cindy Kubica, call toll free 888-KUBICA4U (888-582-4224) or visit www.cindykubica.com.

For Immediate Release 10/14/2005