Mercer Island, WA

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Video Clip: Click to Watch

I am pleased to announce the most recent recipient of the Caregiver Hero Award. It's 13-year-old Sam Owen.

One day my son came home from school and said with excitement, "Mom, you're not going to believe what happened today. A fifth grader invited me to play basketball!" I said, "Wow, a fifth grader inviting a third grader. It must have made you feel special." My son just beamed.

Sam had a reputation for including kids. Doing the right thing was important for Sam and his family. In fact, Sam was preparing for his Bar Mitzvah—the Jewish right of passage that marks the coming of age.

Eight months before his Bar Mitzvah, Sam was diagnosed with lymphoma. Not the "good" lymphoma—Hodgkin's lymphoma. Sam had the bad, scary kind.

His family gathered all the resources and all the information to assure that Sam got the very best medical outcome possible. Sam's friends say that his Bar Mitzvah gave him a reason to fight. Two months before Sam's thirteenth birthday, the future looked bright. Sam's scans were clean and he was regaining his strength.

A month before his Bar Mitzvah, Sam took a turn for the worse. The scans showed that Sam's tumor had come back deep in his brain. Given the nature of the disease, the only thing the doctors could offer was comfort care.

Even when Sam understood that his days were numbered, he asked his mom at least twice a day, "What about my Bar Mitzvah?"

Sam's family and gathered around a bed-bound Sam to celebrate this joyous event. You can click here to see a video clip. After the celebration Sam asked his brother and sister to take some of his gift money and donate it to a special fund at Children's Hospital to serve the often-overlooked hospitalized teenagers.

Two days later, Sam took his last breath.

Sam deserves the Caregiver Hero Award for any number of reasons. His simple act of including someone at the sidelines like my son is monumental in its own right. His ability to face his illness with courage and dignity and grace is an inspiration for all.

However, Sam's dedication to find joy in the midst of sorrow is a singular act of heroism. I recognize and honor Sam and his family and community for their courage to demonstrate by example the treasure hunt for joy that's always there—even if it's deeply buried.

What will you do differently as a result of hearing Sam's story? Will you engage someone in the sidelines in conversation or stretch beyond your limits or search for the silver lining no matter how dark the cloud is?

As I sat at Sam's funeral I decided to do three things. First, I will create more free resources for caregivers around the globe. You can go to www.thecaregiverclub.info to sign up for free videos and articles that can be delivered right to your in box. Second, I will donate a portion of my book sales to Sam's favorite cause at Children's Hospital. Third, I commit to finding more time seeking joy with my friends and family.

Sam isn't with us anymore, but he can live on through the acts he inspires. We can honor Sam and all the caregivers heroes in our midst by reaching for our personal best.

Dr. Vicki Rackner is a former surgeon , founder of The Caregiver Club www.thecaregiverclub.com and author of Caregiving without Regrets.  She helps those caring for others manage stress, respond to loved ones' needs and stretch health care dollars.  Contact her at 425 451-3777.

Vicki Rackner MD FACS

Mercer Island, WA

425-451-3777