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Power Is Still the Ultimate Aphrodisiac
Englewood Cliffs, NJ
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Dr. Patricia A. Farrell
ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ: Pigs still can't fly, but it's still true, as it was when a former Cabinet official was dating, that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Power and money will draw any number of partners to the person who possesses it, be they man or woman. Nerds, in fact, or those with limited social skills of the interpersonal type, appear to be at the top of the list. They so badly want to believe that they are really, really attractive that it takes little skill to convince them of it. Give a guy access to the halls of power in Washington, DC (remember Fannie Fox?) or a major TV show, hedge fund, or whatever where there's media, money and luxury and the fix is in; partners come a'runnin.
What could be at the bottom of all of this? Let's take a look at just some of the things that might drive this passion.
1. The halo effect of power is bound to rub off on anyone associated with this person, so the partner, in effect, begins to gain prominence—something many people crave but can't achieve on their own.
2. Greed is always a good motivator. There's a lot of satisfaction for this in knowing that your partner has access to millions or even billions.
3. Nerds are easy targets and, if they come with all the trimmings of money and fame, it's a pretty sure bet you can ride the gravy train.
4. Retirement security may be one of them, especially if your "do not use after" date is fast approaching. Everyone wants to be assured they can pay the mortgage, have a nice car and go on vacations once they retire.
5. Career aspirations. How many of these people want to be models, actors, screenwriters, gain access to the power brokers in their field?
And what of the nerds or famous figures? One of the perks of being famous is that you will be a magnet for as many hangers-on as you can manage. You don't even have to approach someone you find interesting because one of your staff can do that for you. It is the ultimate example of the out of control three-year-old child who believes they are the center of the universe. This time, however, the child is an adult who has access to all the toys on an exclusive basis and doesn't have to share.
You still can't tell a book by its cover, either, because too many people lead double lives; one totally controlled and the other living on the wild side. They truly believe that they won't get caught, won't be punished for any transgressions or really deserve all of this fun. They've earned it, haven't they? Amazing what a little cognitive dissonance will do.
Cognitive dissonance, what's that? It's when your actions and your beliefs are in diametric extremes to each other. So what you do is change your beliefs because you certainly don't want to change your actions. Now you can engage in all that stuff without any pangs of guilt.
What could be at the bottom of all of this? Let's take a look at just some of the things that might drive this passion.
1. The halo effect of power is bound to rub off on anyone associated with this person, so the partner, in effect, begins to gain prominence—something many people crave but can't achieve on their own.
2. Greed is always a good motivator. There's a lot of satisfaction for this in knowing that your partner has access to millions or even billions.
3. Nerds are easy targets and, if they come with all the trimmings of money and fame, it's a pretty sure bet you can ride the gravy train.
4. Retirement security may be one of them, especially if your "do not use after" date is fast approaching. Everyone wants to be assured they can pay the mortgage, have a nice car and go on vacations once they retire.
5. Career aspirations. How many of these people want to be models, actors, screenwriters, gain access to the power brokers in their field?
And what of the nerds or famous figures? One of the perks of being famous is that you will be a magnet for as many hangers-on as you can manage. You don't even have to approach someone you find interesting because one of your staff can do that for you. It is the ultimate example of the out of control three-year-old child who believes they are the center of the universe. This time, however, the child is an adult who has access to all the toys on an exclusive basis and doesn't have to share.
You still can't tell a book by its cover, either, because too many people lead double lives; one totally controlled and the other living on the wild side. They truly believe that they won't get caught, won't be punished for any transgressions or really deserve all of this fun. They've earned it, haven't they? Amazing what a little cognitive dissonance will do.
Cognitive dissonance, what's that? It's when your actions and your beliefs are in diametric extremes to each other. So what you do is change your beliefs because you certainly don't want to change your actions. Now you can engage in all that stuff without any pangs of guilt.
Patricia A. Farrell, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist
Patricia A. Farrell, Ph.D., LLC
Englewood Cliffs, NJ
