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Mourning Comes to Haiti: Death and Oblivion After Catastrophe
Englewood Cliffs, NJ
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Dr. Patricia A. Farrell
ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ: The earth shook and Port-au-Prince began coming down around its unwary occupants. No one had expected it except for the geologists tracking earthquakes in the Western United States. Fifty thousand dead is a number the authorities are indicating would be correct and many of them will be children or those who died from simply treated wounds of broken legs, damaged arms or head injuries. Aside from the physical devastation there's the enormity of the psychological loss, especially for the children who have had no experience with death.
The theorists who offered us a simplistic stage level of mourning or grieving may be used by those offering psychological services, but do these stages hold up? My opinion is that they won't and too many people will be seen as more impaired than they actually are. This inappropriate "impairment" regarding inadequate grieving or denial of the facts can do more harm than the helpers intend.
How should people grieve? My immediate response is that we should remove the word "should" from that question because grieving is a highly personal matter. There are those who will bounce back quickly and who will be seen as "in denial" if the old standards are used and there are those who will not do their "grief work" according to Hoyle. The "rules" it seems need some revision because to fail to do so is to pathologize everyone who doesn't abide by the standards set by a few people almost a half-century or more ago; people who did limited or no research and worked with only specific populations.
The culture will tell the Haitians what they have to do and it is there that first responders should look for guidance. Some may continue to speak to their dead loved one, others will hear their voices and still others will go on with their lives never forgetting those loved ones and crying, appropriately, for years to come. To tell them they must do certain things, according to standards set by people quite distant from their culture is wrong.
One of the Haitians' most valuable characteristics is their social support network both at home and abroad. It has been found that social support helps people deal with stress in very positive ways and enables a sense of resilience in the face of tragedy. The strong social network of the people will now enables them to go on from this terrible event.
The theorists who offered us a simplistic stage level of mourning or grieving may be used by those offering psychological services, but do these stages hold up? My opinion is that they won't and too many people will be seen as more impaired than they actually are. This inappropriate "impairment" regarding inadequate grieving or denial of the facts can do more harm than the helpers intend.
How should people grieve? My immediate response is that we should remove the word "should" from that question because grieving is a highly personal matter. There are those who will bounce back quickly and who will be seen as "in denial" if the old standards are used and there are those who will not do their "grief work" according to Hoyle. The "rules" it seems need some revision because to fail to do so is to pathologize everyone who doesn't abide by the standards set by a few people almost a half-century or more ago; people who did limited or no research and worked with only specific populations.
The culture will tell the Haitians what they have to do and it is there that first responders should look for guidance. Some may continue to speak to their dead loved one, others will hear their voices and still others will go on with their lives never forgetting those loved ones and crying, appropriately, for years to come. To tell them they must do certain things, according to standards set by people quite distant from their culture is wrong.
One of the Haitians' most valuable characteristics is their social support network both at home and abroad. It has been found that social support helps people deal with stress in very positive ways and enables a sense of resilience in the face of tragedy. The strong social network of the people will now enables them to go on from this terrible event.
Patricia A. Farrell, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist
Patricia A. Farrell, Ph.D., LLC
Englewood Cliffs, NJ
