Englewood Cliffs, NJ

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ: The big question of the day seems to be whether or not the Jackson kids will remain with their grandmother or other relative or be split up. Let's look at the issues.

These kids have just lost their one parent; they came from a single-parent household. When that happens, kids feel like the rug has been pulled out from under them. Where do they go now, who will take care of them, what's to become of them? The issues for kids aren't as simple as "You're going to grandma's house." It's a matter of deep, internal feelings of temporary insecurity that can turn into something more serious later on. So, the question of who actually gets to care for these kids, as a family unit not one kid here and two over there, is a major one.

If the biological mothers of any of the kids come forward to claim they want to raise their children, what might the courts decide? The standard is and has always been "in the best interests of the children." We've seen cases where the children get to decide and that seems only right. They aren't property to be disbursed to the "rightful owner" or goods to be distributed.

These are kids who need stability in their lives now more than ever. They need to know that this is going to be a lasting home for them, not one where they are shuffled back and forth between people they may not even know. How do you spend the most formative years of your life with someone and then someone expects you to be uprooted and put into a stranger's home? In my book, this is tantamount to cruelty of children and we did away with that over 100 years ago in the US. Ever see how traumatic it can be for some kids to go to summer camp? They can panic and the parents either come quickly or the kids can end up running away and a bond of trust is damaged.

The true needs of the kids have to be considered now and they need a champion who will not swerve in protecting them and their needs. Who's going to be that person? The saga continues.

http://www.drfarrell.net

Patricia A. Farrell, Ph.D.

Licensed Psychologist

Patricia A. Farrell, Ph.D., LLC

Englewood Cliffs, NJ