Mercer Island, WA

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Cathy says, "I know I can take care of my mother. The big question is whether I can do it whout gaining 30 pounds."

YES, she can!

If you have put on a few pounds since you've started caring for an aging parent or sick partner, you're not alone. A recent study in American Journal of Epidemiology reports that when employees face work-related stresses, they gain weight. Men who lost a job, worried about losing their jobs or felt a lack of control over decisions at work were those most likely to gain weight. Women also added pounds when they grappled with strained family relationships, worried about paying bills and felt limited by life's circumstances.

Family caregiving often precipitates these very job-related stresses. Then there's the stresses of all the changes that accompany illness.

Imagine hopping on a raft with your loved one. Just as the raft flows in the direction of the current, so, too, the natural current of caregiving will take you in the direction of weight gain.

Many choices reasonable caregivers make under stressful circumstances contribute to weight gain.

Less of exercise. "My walk seems like a frivolous indulgence compared to my mom who really needs me."

More fast food. "Where did the time go? Let's swing by the fast food window for dinner."

Sleep deprivation When I was a surgeon-in-training, my mentor said, "You can get by on less sleep or less food, but not at the same time."

The search for love and comfort. "I can't turn to the person who has been my soft landing spot for years and say, 'It's so hard caring for you!' That's when I reach for the Haagen Daz. It's like getting a hug, at least for a moment or two."

Other factors that contribute to weight gain are outside of your direct control.

Fight or flight Stress hormones change the body's metabolic thermostat towards the setting of weight gain.

Biologic programming The behavioral biologists suggest that we as a species are programmed to eat all we can during times of stress. The cavemen who ate during times of stress had a survival advantage.

Hormonal changes of peri-menopause can lead to weight gain. Many women step into the care of aging parents just as they're stepping into menopause.

You are not destined to gain weight any more than a raft is destined to follow the current. You can grab the paddle and travel upstream. Here are a few ideas you'll immediately recognize as the advice your grandmother gave you.

Get regular exercise. If you've already developed the exercise habit, find a way to maintain it. Maybe you and your loved one can get some exercise together. Check with the doctor first.

Make good food choices. If your body were a car, what kind of fuel makes it run best? If you don't like to cook, join forces with others who do. Maybe you run errands for the neighbor in exchange for some healthy meals and snacks.

Get enough sleep.

Find sources of comfort and love. Reconnect with friends. Meet other caregivers. Deepen your spiritual connection.

Create a list of things you can do when your body says, "Haagen Daz."

Breathe.

Biology is not destiny. You can maintain your weight, even with the stresses of caregiving. It will require some effort, and it can be done.

What do you think? Please weigh in—as they say—at http://wp.me/pzgkL-1F

The Caregiver Club is an online resource community for caregivers who want to respond to the needs of their loved ones, manage stress and minimize guilt. Founder Dr. Vicki Rackner is a former surgeon and author of Caregiving without Regrets. Reach her through the web site www.thecaregiverclub.com or 425 451-3777.

Vicki Rackner MD FACS

Mercer Island, WA

425-451-3777