Friday, June 26, 2009
Infidelity expert Ruth Houston says South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's affair shows how opposite sex friendships can undermine a marriage if they turn into emotional affairs.
Houston, a New York infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news, says the Sanford affair is a prime example of how an innocent friendship with a member of the opposite sex can progress to emotional infidelity, which is the precursor to sexual infidelity.
The Danger of Opposite Sex Friendships "Far too many people underestimate the danger of close friendships with members of the opposite sex", says Houston, founder of of
www.InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of
Is He Cheating on You?– 829 Telltale Signs. Houston has been researching infidelity for over 15 years.
Says Houston, "Sanford described how his affair with his Argentinean mistress began with an innocent exchange of e-mails and progressed to an extramarital affair. This scenario is far more common than people think. Since there's no sex involved in the early stages, people underestimate the damage that opposite sex friendships can do."
Today, a Friendship; Tomorrow, an Extramarital Affair Houston continues, "Sanford's affair is a prime example of how today's opposite sex friendship can become tomorrow's extramarital affair, if certain checks and balances are not put into place.
Like Gov. Sanford, very often the person involved does not realize how much of a threat this type of friendship can be, and how it can undermine his (or her) marriage or relationship."
In describing how such a friendship progresses to an extramarital affair Houston says, "It usually starts innocently enough with regular e-mails, text messages, phone calls, or face-to-face conversations with an opposite sex friend. The frequency of their communication with each other gradually increases, the friendship deepens, and strong emotional bonds are formed. If the situation is not put into check, this strong bond of friendship will progress to emotional infidelity, which will eventually lead to sexual infidelity – even if that was not the original intent."
Says Houston, "When cultivated and nurtured over a period of weeks, months or years, an innocent friendship between close friends of the opposite sex can escalate into an extramarital affair. This is exactly what happened between Mark Sanford and his Argentinean mistress, Maria Belen Chapur."
Monitoring Opposite Sex Friendships and Keeping them In Check Houston, who is known for providing practical, immediately-usable advice to victims of infidelity through her blog posts, articles, and free infidelity tip sheets, says this is such a common scenario that she compiled an
Emotional Infidelity Quiz and Tip Sheet several years ago.
Many have found Houston's
Emotional Infidelity Quiz helpful in determining whether or not their (or their partner's) opposite sex friendship is in the danger zone. The accompanying
Emotional Infidelity Tip Sheet lists several checks and balances one can put into place to keep an opposite sex friendship from turning into an emotional affair. For a
free copy of Houston's
Emotional Infidelity Quiz and Tip Sheet, e-mail
InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with the words
"Emotional –XSan" in the subject line.
More Observations from an Infidelity Expert on the Sanford Affair For further observations from infidelity expert Ruth Houston on Gov. Sanford's affair, including why politicians cheat, and the difficulty a politician's wife faces when trying to decide whether or not to give her husband a second chance, visit Houston's
Infidelity News and Views Blog at
http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com/ For more information on infidelity and extramarital affairs, visit
www.InfidelityAdvice.com To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, call 718 592-6039 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com
About Ruth Houston: Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of
Is He Cheating on You?– 829 Telltale Signs. She has been researching infidelity for over 15 years.
Frequently called on by the media to comment on popular infidelity issues and infidelity breaking news, Houston has been a repeat guest on
The Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, Fox & Friends, Fox News, The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, CBS News, BBC, CBC and over 480 other radio and TV news and talk shows worldwide.
Houston has also been quoted in
USA Today, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Daily News, Cosmopolitan, the New York Post, the Chicago Tribune, FoxNews.com, ABCNews.com, msnbc.com, Reuters, the Associated Press, UPI and numerous other print and online media.
To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, call 718 592-6039 or e-mail
InfidelityExpert@gmail.com